Broken and Screwed

“Angie.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get it.”

“Angie.” She was about to leave the bathroom again, but I grabbed her arm. I stopped her. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?” Her eyes seared me. The hurt was so much, too much, in her. “I really want to understand. Maybe then it won’t hurt so goddamn much.” Her voice had dropped to a hoarse whisper at the end.

I flinched. I hadn’t realized I’d been hurting her, but then I took a deep breath. “You have loving parents.”

“So? That means I can’t be in your little club because my parents love me?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that you might not understand because your parents love you. You have a boyfriend who loves you. You don’t get the other side, of when parents don’t love you or don’t treat you how you should be treated. Your parents protect you. They care about you, look over you. Mine stopped a long time ago.” I swallowed more pain away and confessed, “They stopped even before Ethan died.” It was why I had been partying so much.

“So what? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t cover for Marissa because I know all her secrets, but because I can guess at some of them. I have no idea what’s happened to her, but something did. She wouldn’t go through guys like she does if she had parents like yours.”

“Pat and Lorna are not like that. They’re good parents. They love her. They’re best friends with mine—”

“I know.” I gentled my tone. “They’re your parents’ best friends, but not all households are like yours. And I’m not even saying it has to do with them. I’m saying that something happened to Marissa. She hasn’t been the same Marissa since eighth grade. She changed that year, remember?”

Her eyes hollowed out and I knew she was remembering that year.

“She didn’t come to school the same.”

Angie nodded, biting her lip. “I know. She was so different.”

“But remember at the beginning? She was quiet all the time, not the normal Marissa. Then suddenly she started hanging out with the older group?”

“She started dating Chad Lowerster.” Her nose wrinkled up. “He was so gross.”

“Gross to us, but hot to her. He was a junior. Marissa was in eighth grade.”

She rolled her eyes. “I never understood why she was dating him. It was obvious he only wanted one thing.”

I remembered how excited she’d been and how disgusted Angie had been. I sobered at the memory. It’d been the first sign that something was wrong. The Marissa before would’ve been revolted at the idea of dating someone like Chad Lowerster, but then she started openly chasing guys like him. I started to say something about how we needed to be better friends to her, but my phone’s alert went off. A tingle raced through me. It was from Jesse; I knew it before looking.

Angie mused as she inspected her teeth now in the mirror, “You think we should say something to her about that?”

The phone needed to wait a minute. “About what?”

She lifted an easy shoulder. “I don’t know, maybe about how she jumps from guy to guy? She was all about saying something to you, but bailed when you came into the room. You think she wants us to say something to her?”

Had I wanted them to say something? That wasn’t the real question. Had I wanted someone to find out about my family? They still didn’t know the extent of it, Jesse didn’t either. So I shook my head. “I have no idea. I really don’t.”

“Hmmm.” Then she dropped her hands and turned with a bright smile. “Okay, no more dramatics. You ready to have some fun tonight?”

Was I? My phone’s alert went off again. “You bet!”

She beamed back at me.

It wasn’t until later as we had met the guys in the hallway and were walking towards the lounge that I snuck a peek at my phone. However, Eric sidled up next to me with a strange glint in his eyes. He lifted a hand to run it through his hair, messing it up, but the look suited him. It gave him a rakish appeal that I knew most girls would swoon over. He wore a black shirt that molded to his frame with low-riding jeans. He could’ve been a model in that outfit, a thought that I’d never had about him before. But his eyes had been dark as they’d trailed up and down me when we first stepped into the hallway. They were still darkened in lust now.

“You think we’ll see Marissa before the trip’s over?” he asked.

I started to shrug, but stopped. I told him the truth. “Yes, we’ll see her when she decides to show up.”

“And she’ll be with another guy.”

It wasn’t a question any longer. He already knew.

“I’m sorry, Eric.” But I wasn’t. And from the clenching in his jaw, I knew he knew it as well.

But then he changed the topic and forced a light cheery note in his voice. “You look sexy tonight.”

He skimmed me up and down again. To my surprise, a shiver followed his gaze over my body.

Angie threw me a wink over her shoulder. She was the proud momma, since she had argued with me about my attire that night for twenty minutes. In the end, I had succumbed and wore the black dress that weaved around my br**sts and down to my hips. My entire back was exposed, along with the sides of my hips. It ended a few inches above my knees, but for some reason I didn’t feel embarrassed. I would’ve a month ago.