Can You Keep a Secret?

An image pops into my head of a bunch of portly barristers dancing around in their wigs and I can't help it, I give a snort of laughter.

'You see!' cries Lissy. 'That's why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd laugh!'

'I'm sorry!' I say. 'I'm sorry! I'm not laughing. I think it's really great!' Another hysterical giggle bursts from me. 'It's just … I don't know. Somehow the idea of dancing lawyers …'

'We're not all lawyers,' she says defensively. There are a couple of merchant bankers, too, and a judge … Emma, stop laughing!'

'I'm sorry,' I say helplessly. 'Lissy, I'm not laughing at you, honestly.' I take a deep breath and try desperately to clamp my lips together. But all I can see is merchant bankers dressed in tutus, clutching their briefcases, dancing to Swan Lake. A judge leaping across the stage, robes flying.

'It's not funny!' Lissy's saying. 'It's just a few like-minded professionals who want to express themselves through dance. What's wrong with that?'

'I'm sorry,' I say again, wiping my eyes and trying to regain control of myself. 'Nothing's wrong with it. I think it's brilliant. So … are you having a show, or anything?'

'It's in three weeks. That's why we've been doing extra practices.'

'Three weeks?' I stare at her, my laughter melting away. 'Weren't you going to tell me?'

'I … I hadn't decided,' she says, scuffing her dancing shoe on the floor. 'I was embarrassed.'

'Don't be embarrassed!' I say in dismay. 'Lissy, I'm sorry I laughed. I think it's brilliant. And I'm going to come and watch. I'll sit right in the front row …'

'Not the front row. You'll put me off.'

'I'll sit in the middle, then. Or at the back. Wherever you want me.' I give her a curious look. 'Lissy, I never knew you could dance.'

'Oh, I can't,' she says at once. 'I'm crap. It's just a bit of fun. D'you want a coffee?'

As I follow Lissy into the kitchen, she gives me a raised-eyebrow look. 'So, you've got a bit of a nerve, accusing me of having sex. Where were you last night?'

'With Jack,' I admit with a dreamy smile. 'Having sex. All night.'

'I knew it!'

'Oh God, Lissy. I'm completely in love with him.'

'In love?' She flicks on the kettle. 'Emma, are you sure? You've only known him about five minutes.'

'That doesn't matter! We're already complete soulmates. There's no need to pretend with him … or try to be something I'm not … and the sex is amazing … He's everything I never had with Connor. Everything. And he's interested in me. You know, he asks me questions all the time, and he seems really genuinely fascinated by the answers.'

I spread my arms with a blissful smile and sink down onto a chair. 'You know, Lissy, all my life I had this feeling that something wonderful was about to happen to me. I always just … knew it, deep down inside. And now it has.'

'So where is he now?' says Lissy, shaking coffee into the cafetière.

'He's going away for a bit. He's going to brainstorm some new concept with a creative team.'

'What?'

'I dunno. He didn't say. It'll be really intense and he probably won't be able to phone me. But he's going to email every day,' I add happily.

'Biscuit?' says Lissy, opening the tin.

'Oh, er … yes. Thanks.' I take a digestive and give it a thoughtful nibble. 'You know, I've got this whole new theory about relationships. It's so simple. Everyone in the world should be more honest with each other. Everyone should share! Men and women should share, families should share, world leaders should share!'

'Hmm.' Lissy looks at me silently for a few moments. 'Emma, did Jack ever tell you why he had to go rushing off in the middle of the night that time?'

'No,' I say in surprise. 'But it's his business.'

'Did he ever tell you what all those phone calls were about on your first date?'

'Well … no.'

'Has he told you anything about himself other than the bare minimum?'

'He's told me plenty!' I say defensively. 'Lissy, what's your problem?'

'I don't have a problem,' she says mildly. 'I'm just wondering … is it you who's doing all the sharing?'

'What?'

'Is he sharing himself with you?' She pours hot water onto the coffee. 'Or are you just sharing yourself with him?'

'We're sharing with each other,' I say, looking away and fiddling with a fridge magnet.

Which is true, I tell myself firmly. Jack's shared loads with me! I mean, he's told me …

He's told me all about …

Well, anyway. He probably just hasn't been in the mood for talking very much. Is that a crime?

'Have some coffee,' says Lissy, handing me a mug.

'Thanks,' I say, a touch grudgingly, and Lissy sighs.

'Emma, I'm not trying to spoil things. He does seem really lovely—'

'He is! Honestly, Lissy, you don't know what he's like. He's so romantic. Do you know what he said this morning? He said the minute I started talking on that plane, he was gripped.'