I refuse to think about how great his arms look when he does that. Because right now he’s not my hot boyfriend, he’s the person who is encouraging the only family member I have to leave me.

“Aunt Cami, it’s really a great thing.”

“No.” I spin and point my finger in Steven’s chest. “It’s not a great thing. It’s dangerous, and it takes you far away from home, and in case you’ve missed it, world affairs are more than a little shaky right now, Steven. Are you telling me you want to run off to war?”

“He’s not running off to war,” Landon says, and I spin on him now.

“You are not helping! Why would you encourage this?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, his voice rising with mine. His ice-blue eyes are flashing with annoyance. “What in the hell is wrong with the Navy, Cami? In case you’ve forgotten, it more than paid my bills and took care of me very nicely for a decade!”

“Yes, and it also took you far away from all of the people who gave a shit about you! You came home every other year to say hi, and then you were off again, until one day we got a phone call and you’d almost died!”

“I’m not going to be a pilot,” Steven says, surprisingly calmly.

“You’re not going to be anything in the goddamned Navy,” I say, my voice hard. I’m panting. I can’t catch my breath. “You’re going to stay here and—”

“And what?” Landon demands, on a roll now. “Do what you tell him he can do? He may be young, but he’s an adult, Cami. You can’t make him do anything. You’re not his mother. And even if you were, this is not an irresponsible decision.”

“How the fuck do you know?” I ask, yelling now. “You were always gone.”

Landon visibly takes a deep breath, then walks around the island and toward the kitchen door.

“You’re leaving?” I demand. “I piss you off, so you bail?”

He stops cold, then turns around, and before I can react, grabs my face in his hands and kisses me hard. Still holding me, he pulls back and says, “We’re both too pissed off to resolve this right now. I need some space and you need to talk to your nephew and calm the fuck down.”

With that, he kisses me once more then stomps out, slamming the front door behind him.

“Aunt Cami.” Steven’s voice is gentle, and to be honest, he sounds disappointed, and that just breaks my heart in two.

“Steven—”

“No, just take a breath and listen to me. This is a good thing, Cami. I need to get my feet under me.”

“You’re a kid. No one your age has their feet under them.”

“I will not be a freeloader for the rest of my life,” he says, and begins to pace the kitchen. “I’m living with a girl that I don’t even particularly like because I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“You can come here.”

“And mooch off you? No. It’s time for me to be on my own.”

“Once you finish school and get a good job—”

“I’m flunking out,” he says quietly. “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be disappointed in me, but school isn’t going well, Cami. Shit, I don’t even know what I want to do, and the classes I’m taking are a waste of time. My whole life feels like a waste of time right now.”

“You are not a waste of time.”

“I love you too,” he says, and makes my eyes fill. “I know that I owe you a lot.”

“You don’t owe me anything. Family helps family because we love each other.”

“I know. But it’s time for me to help myself too.”

I take a long, deep breath and try to clear my head. All I can think is, he’s going to leave and I’ll hardly ever see him from now on, and that just breaks my heart.

“The Navy is a good place to start, Cami. I’ll make decent money, have a place to live, see a bit of the world, and when I figure out what I want to be when I grow up”—a smile tickles his lips, making him look so much younger—“I’ll have school paid for. I don’t want to bus tables forever, I know that.”

I chew my lip and stare at the boy whose diapers I used to change. I taught him how to drive. I took him to see movies his mom wouldn’t let him see. He’s been one of my closest friends his whole life, and now he wants to leave me and make a life of his own.

If this is what it feels like to be a parent, I might just pass on the whole fucking deal because it’s nothing but heartache.

“When did you get smart and stuff?” I sniff loudly.

“I’m a smart guy,” he says with a shrug. “And why are you all . . .” He waves his hands around like he can’t find the words.

“Wonderful? Gorgeous? Your favorite person in the world?”

“Spazzy.”

“Spazzy?”

“Yeah. I expected this from Mom, but I thought you’d be cooler about it.”

“That’s why you looked so nervous to tell me?”

“Okay, I thought you’d be calmer than you were. You don’t usually act like that.”

He’s right. What the hell has been wrong with me lately?

I shrug, and Steven starts talking about where he’ll be completing basic training, and how a friend of his is enlisting with him, and I nod, but his voice fades as I start thinking.

What is wrong with me? First, the wine upset my stomach in Seattle, making for two days of the icks. In fact, Landon’s pancakes were the first thing to sit well on my stomach all week.