Crash

“Thanks for picking up diapers and formula, Jude,” she said, picking up the bags. “I was getting dangerously close to tearing my sheets into makeshift diapers.”

“Of course,” Jude said, kissing the top of the baby’s head. “Anytime.”

“I don’t know what we’d do without you,” she said, looking at the baby, something sad in her voice.

“You’d be all right, Holly,” he said, making another face at the baby. “But I’m glad I’m able to help.”

“Well, are you going to sleep out on the porch?” she asked, propping a hand on her hip.

“I’d rather not.” He smiled.

“Well, get in here,” she said, stepping aside. “I’ve got plans for you tonight.”

“Boy, little Jude,” he said, holding the baby in front of him, “your mama sure is bossy.”

Holly sighed, grabbing Jude’s arm and pulling him in. He pulled the door closed, encapsulating the family away from me.

I needed to get out of here. I needed to get home. I needed to forget about Jude. I needed a good hard cry to get this out of my system.

I waited a few more minutes, turning the key over in the ignition when a light went out in a back room. I was not going to be there when that trailer started rocking.

I tore out of the trailer park, the roads leading home blurry because I couldn’t quite keep the tears contained, but I wasn’t ready to let them fall. So Sawyer was right and I was wrong. I couldn’t trust Jude and I never should have. Jude himself had warned me off of him, but I wasn’t smart enough to listen.

My boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, although I wasn’t sure if I could even call him that, had a second life stuffed away in a crummy trailer. This stuff did not happen in real life.

My hands were shaking over the steering wheel by the time I got home. The cabin was dark and it was the first thing that had gone right in the past hour.

I was through the door and up the stairs in five seconds flat. I slid into my bedroom noiselessly, grabbed the shopping bag with the garments I’d intended to put on so Jude could take off tonight, and chucked it in the garbage can. Flopping on my bed, I knew if I took my finger out, the dam holding back the flood would shatter. I couldn’t decide if I needed to let myself go or if I needed to keep myself together.

Jude was the kind of guy who’d I’d thought, up until tonight, was a guy worth shedding a lake of tears over, but after what I’d learned tonight, he didn’t seem worth the effort anymore.

Sitting up in frustration, something caught my eye on my desk. A yellow envelope that had remained unopened. Until tonight.

Snatching it off my desk, I tore the packet open. My future seemed easier to accept now that it was so bleak right now.

I held the top sheet in front of me, scanning the all important first paragraph. My breath caught as I sunk to the floor.

I fell asleep that night with half a smile and half a frown on my face.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

A few hours of sleep had flipped my emotion meter from anguish to anger. I woke up Friday morning ready to give Jude hell. I had to remind myself as I got ready for school that I hated him, but I hoped that after enough reminders, it would become more natural. I threw on a pretty sun dress, one that I realized later looked an awful lot like Holly’s, and grabbed a sweater out of my closet for good measure.

Mom was already gone and dad was thirty minutes deep into Sergeant Pepper’s, so it made getting out of the house speed bump free. During the drive to school, I rehearsed what I was going to say to him. What words would do the most damage, what expressions would make me look the most incurably pissed.

I was sure I had it all down pat until I pulled into my parking spot only to find someone standing on the patch of grass in front of it, waiting for me.

Jude waved, grinning at me. A man shouldn’t be able to grin like that at a girl he was cheating on.

I had a moment of getting choked up, looking at what I was about to lose, but I quickly reminded myself he wasn’t mine to lose in the first place.

I took a deep breath, and then threw the door open.

“You look nice,” Jude greeted.

“Don’t look at me that way,” I said, slamming the door. “Because you won’t be peeling off this dress.”

His face pinched with confusion, the smile fading from his face. “Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

“At least I didn’t wake up in the wrong bed.” I came around the front of the car, crossing my arms.

“Luce,” he said, pausing. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” I warned, “and don’t try to make me out to be dumb. You fooled me for a while, good for you, but not anymore.”

“Hey,” he said, lifting his hands and walking towards me. “What’s the matter? Why are you so upset?” He tried wrapping his arms around me, but I shoved him away.

“I can answer both those questions with one word,” I said, glowering at him. “Holly.”

His eyes widened for the shortest second. “What about Holly?”

I huffed, trying not to look at his eyes. I could achieve a higher degree of anger if I didn’t look into them. “I’ve arrived at my own conclusions about Holly, but why don’t you tell me your story? Because I’m sure it’s an interesting one.”

He wrapped his hands around his neck, looking up. “Holly is my friend.”