Crash

“What kind of a warning label?” I asked as soon as the driver door opened.

Clicking his seatbelt into place, Jude gave me a sheepish look. “The kind that’s tattooed to his groin with a list of the STDs he has.”

I choked on my saliva. “What? You’re not serious.”

Turning the key over, he looked at me with an expression that bled serious.

“Oh, my god,” I breathed. “Crap, does he have an actual list?” I had even more to be thankful to Jude for.

He lifted a shoulder. “Another girl will never have to find out,” he said, whipping the car around and heading down the driveway.

“Anything else?” I asked, fearing the answer.

The corners of Jude’s eyes wrinkled. “We might have Krazy Glued his hand to his dick and glued the index finger of his other hand up his nose.”

My mouth fell open. It was as shocking as it was funny, so I laughed. I visualized the whole event, tattoo start to Krazy Glue finish, feeling totally . . . vindicated. Holly had said it best.

“Can’t you guys get in trouble for that?” I asked when I calmed myself.

“Probably,” he said, his own laughter dimming, “but there’s no way in hell Sawyer will report it.”

Sawyer’d always struck me as the kind who was the tattle tale in class growing up. “Why not?”

“Because Holly threatened to tell his parents that little Jude’s his son and then that would turn into a bonafied scandal,” he said, gloating. “A family like the Diamonds can’t afford to take a public hit like that if they hope to keep selling overpriced minivans and shit.”

Holly hadn’t had the chance to tell me, but I’d figured it out. The silent exchange in the hall told me everything I needed to know about who fathered little Jude. “You two had this all planned out.”

He answered with a half-hearted shrug.

“How are you?” he asked, covering my hand with his.

“After almost being forced to have sex with my boyfriend? Or after finding out said former boyfriend is not only an ass, but a dead beat dad? Or after finding out I’d been all wrong about you and you didn’t speak up to tell me otherwise?” I wanted to blame someone else, or circumstance at the least, but the only person to point my judgey little finger at was myself.

“How are you feeling about all of it?” he asked, his voice gentle, such a contrast to what I knew he was capable of. “Give me a median score.”

“I feel like shit,” I answered, and then I looked over at him. I didn’t know if it was just for tonight, or just as a friend who had my back, or as just a bit more than what he’d been to me these past six months, but he was here. “And I’m kind of great too. How about you?”

He looked at me, his eyes light and warm. “I’m kind of great too.”

Turning off Sunrise Drive, he pulled Taylor’s car up to the cabin. We both stared at the dark structure, waiting. It might be forward, it might be in bad taste, but this woman was grabbing what she wanted and not looking back.

“You want to come in?” I swallowed, expecting an acceptance as much as a rejection.

He paused, his eyes inspecting the place like it was heavily guarded. I knew that guy look of concern.

“My parents aren’t home,” I said. “Mom had some work trip she dragged my dad on.”

Jude opened his door. My heart lurched.

“Your mom got your dad out of the house?” he asked, when I stepped out of the car.

“After lacing his eggs with some hardcore narcotics,” I answered, walking up to where he waited for me.

He was staring at the cabin again, chewing something out on his bottom lip. I also knew that man look: hesitancy.

“It’s all right if you don’t want to,” I said, waiting beside him. “I understand.”

“I want to, Luce,” he said, looking at my bedroom window. “I’m just not sure if I should.”

The man who could kick anyone’s ass with his hands tied behind his back. The same man who didn’t care if all of Southpointe announced to the world he’d slept with every single and some not so single woman in the state. The same man who was deliberating coming inside a parentless house with me.

He was a walking dichotomy.

“Well, I am sure, so my certainty overrules your uncertainty.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him up the stairs. “Right this way.”

He sighed, but let me lead him up the porch and through the front door. The floorboards whined beneath our feet, echoing through the silent home.

“Do you want anything?” I asked, flipping on the kitchen light.

He shook his head, his eyes now joining the hesitant game.

Wanting to get him a floor above the most convenient exit, I pulled him towards the stairs, not about to let go of his hand.

“I need to get changed,” I said, giving his hand another pull.

It worked.

I wasn’t sure what I was doing as I led Jude into my bedroom, but it wasn’t because my intentions were pure or impure. I didn’t have any intentions right now, I was just going with what felt right.

“How did you know what was happening to me tonight?” I asked, pulling the chain of the lamp on my dresser. I knew I should be concerned with a mountain of questions right now, but the only reason I was asking them was to fill in the silence.

“Holly saw Diamond and you have a fight and came and got me. And when it comes to predicting Diamond’s next moves, all you have to ask yourself what would a dickhead do and multiply it by ten and you have your answer.” He leaned into the doorway, inspecting my room like it wasn’t real.