I knew then that I could never spend the rest of my life away from Zadie. Varenia, the ocean, even my parents—I could survive without them. But my sister was as essential to me as the sunlight, as the air. I would find a way back to her someday.

By the time Talin took the reins and slowed the stallion to a walk, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. I wasn’t aware of them until I felt his gloved finger against my skin. I closed my eyes, squeezing out the rest of my tears, and fell back against him, exhausted.

“It’s going to rain,” he said. “We’ll wait it out in the trees.”

He dismounted and led the stallion to a small grove of elms a little way off the road. He smiled up at me as we ducked under the foliage. “It’s a long way down,” he said, reaching up to help me. I slid into his arms, and for just a moment he held me above the ground, as if I was as light as a feather to him, before lowering me gently onto the soles of my feet. The leaves were thick enough that only a few drops made it through the canopy of trees, and I sank down onto the grass below them, sighing with relief.

“You did well,” Talin said, settling back against the trunk of a tree. “I was afraid Xander would tire before you did.”

“I like riding. It reminds me of being on the ocean in some strange way.”

“I can understand that. My trip to Varenia was the first time I’d ever been in a boat. It was nice.”

“And at other times, not so nice. One time Zadie and I—” I caught myself too late. I told myself it didn’t matter, that he already knew the truth, but it was a heavy reminder that I’d never be able to share my memories of Zadie out loud, to anyone. “I’m thirsty,” I said, rising shakily to my feet.

“There’s water in my saddlebag.”

I fumbled around with the straps on his saddle. I was finally alone with Talin, and I was going to have to tell him I’d been lying to him all along. I took a long drink from the water skin and was just tucking it back into the saddlebag when I heard a branch snap behind me.

I whirled around to find Talin watching me.

“What is it?” I asked breathlessly.

“Now that you and I have a moment to ourselves, I think it’s time we had a little talk.”

      27

I walked back to the trees, clasping my hands to keep them steady. “How long have you known?” I asked.

“I suspected the first moment I saw you at Old Castle. But I knew for sure the night we danced.”

“How?”

He leaned against the tree next to me. “When you made that comment about Ceren being unpleasant. I know I only met you and Zadie briefly, but from what I gathered that night in Varenia, that didn’t strike me as something Zadie would say.”

I could hear the humor in his voice, but I felt foolish for believing I could pretend to be my sweet sister. “No, I suppose not.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m the one who put you in danger with Ceren that night, dancing with you. I shouldn’t have done it, but I couldn’t fathom why you would be here and not Zadie. And to be honest, I was selfish. I never thought I’d see you again, and then there you were, too tempting to resist.”

I blushed, because I understood exactly how he felt. I had known the danger, and yet I hadn’t been able to resist him. Even now, I hungered for his touch, despite the fact that Ceren’s guards could return at any moment. I swallowed, waiting for him to continue.

“The day you saved Ceren at the lake only confirmed the truth for me.”

“When you saw my scar?”

He nodded, his eyes lifting to mine. “I was afraid for you. Afraid Ceren had seen the scar and would somehow figure out the truth, or at least be angry that he’d been fooled. Do you have any idea how dangerous your position is?”

“Of course I do!” I exclaimed. “How could I not?”

“Then why are you here, Nor? Did Governor Kristos send you to spy on me?”

“What?” The question was so unexpected I nearly lost my balance.

“Just answer me, Nor. No more lies.”

I was tired of pretending, and what was the use anymore? The truth was certainly better than letting Talin think I was a spy. At least not in the way he was imagining. “I came because of my sister.”

His brow furrowed with genuine concern. “Did something happen to her?”

“She fell in love. With Sami.”

“Your betrothed? Is that what you wanted to tell Kristos that evening?”

I nodded.

“And you volunteered to go in her place?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

The rain had slowed to a drizzle, and several drops had made their way through the leaves to land on Talin’s brown hair, making the golden highlights glitter. The beads of moisture hung there like perfect crystal droplets, until he shifted toward me and they shimmered for a moment before disappearing, leaving darker spots in their wake.

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t dreamed of going to Ilara one day,” I admitted. “I thought Varenia was too small and simple. I wanted to see the world, and ride a horse, and...”

“And what?”

I looked away, ashamed at how childish I’d been. “Smell a rose. I still haven’t even seen one.”

He smiled gently at me, but then his expression turned confused. “If you wanted to leave and Zadie didn’t, why didn’t the elders just choose you in the first place?”

“That’s not how it works. Besides...” I gestured to the scar on my cheek. Surely that was all the explanation he needed.

“I still don’t understand. Your sister wouldn’t come, so she asked you to come in her place?”

I shook my head. “She didn’t ask me, Talin. She forced me to help her.”

“Help her what?”

I hadn’t thought about the night with the jellyfish for weeks now. The memory was enough to make my pulse race. Luck or Thalos had been with us that night; Zadie could have easily been killed. “Scar herself.”

He jerked back. “What? Why?”

“She knew the only way the elders wouldn’t send her was if she were no longer beautiful. So she came up with a plan. A terrible plan, to scar herself with a jellyfish. She wanted my help, but I refused. I didn’t want her to be in pain, or risk her not being allowed to marry Sami. But she said if I didn’t help her, she’d do it herself.” I tried to swallow my tears, but there were too many. “I was so afraid she’d die, so I...I helped her. We told everyone it was an accident, but no one believed me. They thought I did it to her because I was jealous. Even my own mother.”

“You mean Zadie didn’t tell anyone it was her idea?”

“No. She was afraid, and I don’t blame her. If they knew the truth, she’d never be allowed to marry Sami.”

Talin pushed off the tree and stepped in front of me. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea it was like that. Mother always made Varenia sound so perfect. She said there was no violence or crime. I imagined it as a paradise. And when I came to visit, that’s what I saw. I saw you.”

Something in my chest released, and I realized how stifled I’d felt since I left home. “Varenia is wonderful in so many ways,” I said. “I would give anything to go back. But people are going hungry because of your brother’s demand for pearls. And yes, there are some people who believe the choosing ceremony is...well, everything. My mother is one of them.”

“Why would any mother want to send her daughter away? For a bride price?”

“That may be part of it, but the honor of being chosen extends to the whole family. We believe beauty is the greatest blessing. Or at least, that’s what everyone else believes. Now that I’ve seen what my future holds, I’m afraid it’s more of a curse.”

“And you couldn’t refuse to come?”

I sagged against the tree. “We thought they’d choose a different girl. But Zadie’s portrait had already been sent to your father. Neither of us knew about Lady Melina, about how the Varenians were punished when the king discovered they’d sent a different girl. The elders decided Zadie should go, even if she didn’t survive the journey, because otherwise you’d think we deliberately betrayed you. So I offered to go in her place. Elder Nemea gave me the stain to cover my scar, and I was supposed to spend the rest of my life pretending to be my sister.” I glanced up at him pleadingly. “We didn’t think anyone would ever know the difference. We all believed you were an emissary, that I was unlikely to see you again.” I dropped my voice. “You weren’t supposed to remember me.”

He ducked his head, but not before I saw the color in his cheeks. “No chance of that, I’m afraid.”

“No one has ever looked at me the way you did in Varenia,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“They’re usually too busy looking at Zadie.” I met his eyes. “She’s as ‘pure and unblemished as a Varenian pearl,’ from what I hear.”

His crooked grin made my stomach flutter as though it were full of tiny fish, and I remembered how Zadie couldn’t stay away from Sami toward the end, despite the risk to both of them. I pushed off the tree and took a tentative step toward Talin. “Why didn’t you tell your brother about me?”

“I would never do that to you. The thought of what he might do...” His jaw clenched as he moved closer to me. “Never.”