My body lost all control, and I was powerless to hold it back any longer. I felt all my muscles tighten around him as he sank inside me one last time, finding his own release. My moans started seeping around the scarf, growing so loud Jude had to cover my mouth with his hand.

Jude’s body trembled over mine, while mine was shaking more violently. A sheen of sweat covered his face when he lifted it above mine. Even though he was breathing rapidly, he was still able to smile. He untied the scarf covering my mouth right before his lips took its place. The way he kissed me, with such patience and tenderness, didn’t help calm my shaking body.

“Marry me,” he said in the space between our mouths.

Thanks to the ecstasy I was still swimming in, this question didn’t put me on edge like it normally did. “Soon,” I answered him.

He ran his fingers through my hair and gave me one last kiss. “I’ll take that,” he said, gathering me in his arms as he got comfortable. “That’s an improvement over ‘someday.’”

I didn’t know if soon meant tomorrow, or next month, or next year, but . . .

“Damn, you two. That was freakin’ hot.”

Jude and I tensed at the same time.

“How’s a girl supposed to get to sleep after that?” India continued.

I would have been embarrassed if I wasn’t still in my postsex stupor.

“Sweet dreams once you do,” I replied.

Jude chuckled into the back of my neck, and, with his arms around me, I was asleep before I even knew I was falling.

SEVENTEEN

I’d blinked my eyes and when I’d next opened them, summer had passed me by.

It was the first day of class my senior year. Between working forty-plus hours a week, watching LJ another forty hours a week, taking a couple more flights to visit Jude, hosting Friday-night dinner and movie nights, and trying to squeeze in a couple precious hours of dance every morning, I felt like I had a severe case of mono.

After that Friday night featuring fireworks by Jude and Anton, Anton showed up only when Jude was in San Diego. It was a smart move. Overall, Anton was a good guy, and when he followed my rule and didn’t bring Jude up, we managed to get along most days. Thanks to the job he’d given me, I’d been able to build a decent rainy-day fund, and we’d even figured out a way for me to sneak in a few hours during the school year. Jude wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but he knew better than to push me on the issue. Anton was my boss, my good friend’s brother, a friendly acquaintance. Nothing more.

After some creative schedule juggling, I was still able to help Holly out with LJ, and Thomas was able to fill in on Wednesdays, when I had a night class. Thomas and Holly had been an item, a hot item, since that night they figured out Thomas was indeed straight, and were ready to admit they were attached to each other. Thomas had become a permanent fixture at the apartment. I was about to invite him to move in, but was worried about the problems that would arise from sharing one bathroom among four people who each liked to take long showers.

My last class of the day had finished early, and since I had some time before I had to be back to watch LJ, I headed to the dance studio in White Plains. I hadn’t gotten in near as much dance time as I’d wanted to this summer. What with the circus my life had become, it seemed that somewhere along the way, my priorities had started to shift. Not necessarily change, but realign. I was starting to get a better grasp on the concept that the world doesn’t revolve around Lucy Larson.

A concept I was still trying to work out in my mind.

The studio was empty, and I took a moment to enjoy it. Moments of quiet and alone time were so rare now, I savored them. It was ironic how a few months back, all I’d felt was lonely, and now I craved a few minutes of lonely.

I tied on my pointes and took my time stretching. I was in the middle of a quad stretch when my stomach turned. Followed by a clench and a rumble.

I grabbed my stomach, hoping it would pass.

When the whole turn, clench, and rumble repeated itself, I hurried off the stage and headed for the backstage bathroom. I hadn’t thrown up in years, but I don’t think a person ever forgets the queasy way she feels before she throws up. That was an unpleasant series of events that was forever branded into my mind.

I could taste the bile crawling up my throat as I raced inside the bathroom. There wasn’t a second to spare before my stomach tightened one last time as I heaved into the toilet. I coughed and hovered there, just in case. After a minute had passed and I was fairly certain there wouldn’t be any aftershocks, I flushed before heading to the sink to turn the faucet on. I rinsed my mouth and doused my face with cold water.

I was already feeling better by the time I dried my face, but I wasn’t going to chance it. If I was catching something I wanted to nip it in the bud before it got worse. I exchanged my pointes for my flats, slipped my sweater over my cami, and headed back to the Mazda. I was going to be watching LJ all night, and was hoping to take a quick nap before I started going sixty miles per hour until bedtime.

As I climbed the stairs to the apartment, that stomach-churning feeling was returning. By the time I was unlocking the door, it had returned with a vengeance. After another sprint to the bathroom, I barely made it in time to throw up for the second time in an hour. Thankfully I’d skipped lunch, or else this would have been an even more unpleasant ordeal.

“Lucy?” Holly knocked on the door, sounding concerned. “You okay in there?”

I groaned as my stomach churned again. This time it had mercy on me.