Desolation

The one with the dark hair steps forward. “Are you enjoying yourselves this afternoon?”

Sofie nods. “We’ve spent a few hours at the beach and just had an amazing lunch, so I’d say yes.”

He flashes a casual smile. “That’s great. I’m Michael, and these are my buddies Liam and Troy.”

All the guys mutter a hello.

“I’m Sofie, and this is my friend Pippa.”

Michael’s eyes flicker to me, and he smiles. “Hello there, sweetheart.”

I shift uncomfortably. “Ah, hi.”

He winks and turns back to Sofie. “Would you ladies like some company?”

“Sure,” Sofie adds before I get the chance to tell them no.

The three guys pull up chairs and suddenly the air becomes thick in my throat. I struggle to breathe. I’m not used to this kind of company. I don’t interact well with people I don’t know, and having this many men around is making me uncomfortable. That seems bizarre, considering I hang around bikers, but I know them. I trust them. I don’t know these men. I don’t know how to talk to them. I don’t want to say anything, though, because Sofie is being so nice to me.

“So, Pippa,” Liam asks—he’s the one with the blond hair. “Do you live around here?”

I shift uncomfortably and squeak out, “Ah, yes.”

“Have you lived here long?” His smile is easy, so I take a few deep breaths to calm myself.

“Only a few years now.”

“That’s cool.”

“Y . . . y . . . y . . . yes,” I say. “What about you?”

“My entire life.”

I chat awkwardly to Liam for another hour, and then the beers start coming. Sofie and I don’t take any, but the guys start drinking. Things are flowing quite easily, but I’m still finding it hard to feel comfortable. I answer any questions directed at me, but otherwise I avoid them. I think I need to go home.

“Ah, Sofie, would you mind dropping me home?” I ask. “I have a friend coming over.”

It’s a lie, and I hate myself for it, but I need to go.

“Sure.” Sofie smiles, standing. “Guys, it was nice talking to you all.”

“We’ll walk you,” Michael says, standing.

“I’m going to get more drinks. Meet you here when you’re done,” Troy says disappearing inside.

Michael and Sofie walk up front and I’m left behind them with Liam. Sofie and Michael seem to be chatting quite well, and as we walk down the beach, they get further and further ahead of us.

“Look,” Liam says, capturing my arm and stopping me.

He points to the sun setting, and for a few minutes, we stand and watch it. When I look, Sofie and Michael are nowhere to be seen. Panic rises in my chest. “We should catch up,” I say.

Liam doesn’t let go of my arm. “No, sit with me. They want privacy.”

Sofie never mentioned anything about wanting privacy. This makes me so uneasy I shift, trying to get my arm out of Liam’s grip.

“Why are you so uptight?” he mutters, his voice becoming a little more threatening in tone.

I flinch. “Can you please let me go?” I ask softly.

“I’m not hurting you, sweetheart,” he grumbles. “Just sit with me, talk.”

I swallow, and try to pull away again. “No, ah, thank you.”

“Just sit,” he orders so harshly I flinch, and do as he asks.

It’s my instinct; it’s how I am. I have learned to do as I’m told when a voice is raised. My knees instantly buckle, giving me no choice. I sit beside him, stiff as a board. My skin is prickling and my heart is pounding so hard I can feel it slamming against my rib cage. Sweat breaks out over my skin, and I can feel the panic rising.

“Don’t be shy,” Liam says, putting his arm around me. “I won’t hurt you.”

I’m rigid and my mind is screaming. I don’t realize that his hand moves to my leg until he squeezes.

I open my mouth to fight but I can’t manage any words.

His hand moves up my leg and under my dress. Fear explodes in my chest and I try to struggle, but my body is stiff with terror. I try to will myself to find my voice, but old habits die hard and it stays firmly locked down.

“You’re beautiful, Pippa. So beautiful.”

His mouth is on my neck. Tears pour down my cheeks.

He cups my sex. I make a strangled screaming sound and he instantly flinches away, finally turning and looking at me. His eyes widen. “What the fuck?”

I gasp for air, but nothing comes in.

“Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you a virgin or something?”

I can’t answer—I can only make strange sobbing sounds.

“Fuck, you’re crazy.”

“Hey!”

Sofie. Thank God.

Liam stands. “Something is wrong with your friend.”

“What did you do to her?” Sofie demands.

“Nothing. I was just sitting with her and she turned into this crazy mess.”

“You’re lying,” Sofie says, dropping beside me. “Hey, Pippa, what happened?”

I can’t breathe.

I can’t.

“She’s fucking nuts—that’s what happened. Fucking freak.”

Fucking freak.

Fucking freak.

Fresh tears explode from my eyes and pour down my cheeks. He called me a fucking freak. That’s what I am. It’s all I’ll ever be. I couldn’t even defend myself.