Zel panted; her arms twitched at her sides. She sucked in a fluttering breath. “If you can prove to me I can touch you without you killing me, then you can take me however you want.” A shaky hand raised, dangling silver from her fingers. “But for now…I’m going to make love to you. I’m going to teach you the difference.” She spoke with such control and strength, sending a riot of conflicting confusion through me.

I loved she was strong enough not to fear me—to allow me close to her—to be vulnerable around me, but I wasn’t comfortable with her taking full control. It was too similar to my past. My stomach rolled at the thought of being chained by my ankles and hands and throat.

“See this collar, Fox?” My handler tugged on the leash attached to the leather cuff around my neck.

“Yes, sir.”

This is so you know who you belong to. You carried out your assignment last night, but you took two hours too long. Next time, if you’re not back in time, I’ll attach one of these to you and hang you from the f**king ceiling. Got it?”

My heart bucked, but there was only one answer I could give. “Yes, sir.”

I shook my head, dispelling the short flashback. “You can bind my wrists, but that’s all.”

She narrowed her eyes, dropping them to focus on my hands by my sides. Uncertainty and fear swarmed in her gaze. She’d had first-hand encounters with how deadly my fingers could be.

I cursed myself for not having the strength not to hurt her, but no matter what she asked of me—I couldn’t give her full body immobilisation. It would kill me.

“I promise I’ll keep it together this time. Just don’t—don’t push me too far.”

She shook her head. “But that’s the point. I need to push you to help you past whatever barriers are in your mind.” She glanced at my hands again.

She didn’t know I’d killed men with my legs, elbows, ankles, even my skull. Every part of me, not just my hands, were fatal. I had no wish for her to know either. I’d let her tie my hands, but the real chains would be self-imposed. Only my willpower could stop me from killing her. Ropes and restraints wouldn’t work if I wanted to snuff out her life.

But I didn’t.

Never.

Hazel was mine.

After a long pause, Zel nodded. “Fine. I’ll bind your wrists and nothing else.” Her gaze dropped to the hard bulge in my trousers. “Now, strip.” She licked her lips, a flash of passion glazing her eyes. “I’m wet for you.”

My c**k lurched, cursing the restriction of my trousers. I wanted to slip inside her that very f**king second.

My hands trembled pulling off my shirt. The moment the material landed on the floor, I tensed. Hating my skin, the scars, the memories. Even though I’d stood before her and Clara and allowed them to see what I hid from the world, it still didn’t stop the overpowering urge to cover up.

Rejection and self-hatred were fellow emotions as Zel’s eyes swept over me, lingering on some areas, coasting over others.

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

My stomach flipped and my heart no longer beat—it strummed for her. Only for her. Breathing hard, I brought my hands up to unbuckle my belt. Her lips parted as her eyes followed my every move. I inched the zipper down, feeling air kiss my nakedness beneath. Kicking off my shoes and socks, I let the material fall to the floor.

My c**k hung heavy between my legs, begging for her touch. It felt alive with want, filling almost painfully with the urge to come all over her. I wanted her to wear my scent—to see my mark all over her white br**sts and soft curls between her legs.

“Goddammit, Zel, you have no idea how much you f**king turn me on.” My hand skidded over my stomach, cupping myself, easing some of the tension throbbing in my length.

She sucked in a breath. “Hold out your hands.”

Heat and a small flare of panic rushed my blood as I slowly unlatched my fingers from my cock. I obeyed.

Locking my elbows, I steeled myself against her gentle touches as she wrapped the entire length of chain around my wrists. Not once or twice, but three loops before gathering a small padlock from the black bedspread and securing me.

I tested the tightness, already feeling sick to my stomach, battling residual recollections of being bound.

This wasn’t a shit hot idea. Not only did I have to fight the conditioning, but now I had to battle the memories of being controlled and bound. I shook as my muscles bunched and quivered. What if I’m not strong enough?

My lungs stuck together as Zel exhaled a small sound of relief. Did she fear me that much? She didn’t look turned on by securing me, more like less ready to bolt out the door.

You’re doing this for her.

“Climb on the bed. Lie on your belly.”

My eyes flared. “Why on my stomach? A vital part of my anatomy isn’t useable unless you intend to teach me how to dry hump a mattress.” I tried to joke, to dispel some of the tense anxiety between us, but Zel’s lips only twitched. I’d mistaken any sense of relief when she secured the padlock—she hadn’t relaxed at all, shaking with tension.

“I want to do something. You let Clara do it. Now, it’s my turn.”

Fuck. She wanted to touch my back. She wanted to look deeper at the tattoos, see beneath the ink to the lash marks and countless other scars hidden beneath the Ghost designs.

I shook my head, about to refuse, but Zel leaned back, inadvertently flashing me her delicate pink flesh between her legs.

All thoughts detonated out of my head. I followed like a lovesick teenager, mouth-watering, wanting so f**king badly to taste her.

I’d never kissed a woman down there. Never brought a woman to cl**ax, or enjoyed the privilege of thighs quivering around my ears.

I wanted her. On my face, in my mouth, down my throat.

My already hard c**k lurched painfully. “I’ll only lie down on my stomach if you do something for me in return.”

A barter system.

Something from her in return for something from me. And I knew exactly what I’d ask for.

Zel moved to the side as I awkwardly made my way high enough up the bed. With my hands locked together, I threw myself onto my back, rather than my stomach.

She scowled. “What do you want?” Little spots of colour danced on her cheeks, her lips growing pinker.

Instead of answering, my eyes dropped down her body, coming to rest between her legs. I stifled the groan, noticing for the first time the streak of glistening wetness on her inner thigh.