Devil in Spring

Fluffing up her pillow, Pandora dove her head into it. “I’m going to hire a nice lady’s maid someday,” she grumbled. “One who doesn’t call me names and lecture me at dawn.” She turned to her back and then to her other side, trying to find a comfortable position. It was no use. She was awake, and that was that.

Would it be worth the effort to ring for Ida and try to dress in time for breakfast? No, she didn’t feel at all like hurrying. In fact, she didn’t know what she felt like. A strange mixture of emotions whisked around inside her . . . nervousness, excitement, melancholy, yearning, fear. Tomorrow was her last full day at Heron’s Point. She dreaded having to leave. She especially dreaded the things that would have to be said.

Someone tapped quietly on the door. Pandora’s heart lurched as she wondered if it might be Gabriel trying to return the missing slipper. “Yes?” she called out in a hushed voice.

Kathleen came into the room, her red hair glowing even in the dimness. “I’m sorry to disturb you, dear,” she said gently, coming to the bedside, “but I wanted to ask how you were feeling. Are you ill?”

“No, but my brain is tired.” Pandora inched closer to the edge of the mattress as she felt Kathleen’s cool, small hand smoothing back her hair and resting briefly on her forehead. From the moment Kathleen had come to the estate, she had been the closest thing to a mother Pandora had ever known, despite the fact that she was still a young woman herself.

“You have a great deal to think about,” Kathleen murmured, her face soft with sympathy.

“Whatever I decide is going to feel like a mistake.” Pandora’s throat cinched tight. “I wish Lord St. Vincent were a warty old windbag. Then everything would be easy. Instead, he’s odiously attractive and charming. It’s like he’s deliberately trying to make my life as difficult as possible. This is why I’ve never understood why people think the devil is a hideous beast with horns and claws and a forked tail. No one would be tempted by that.”

“You’re saying Lord St. Vincent is the devil in disguise?” Kathleen asked, sounding vaguely amused.

“He may as well be,” Pandora said morosely. “He’s made everything confusing. I’m like a goldfinch, thinking ‘Oh, that little cage looks so awfully nice with its gold bars and cozy velvet perch and that dish of millet-seed—it might be worth having my wings clipped for that.’ And then when the door latches shut, it will be too late.”

Kathleen patted her back comfortingly. “No one’s wings have to be clipped. I’ll support whatever you decide to do.”

Oddly, Pandora felt frightened rather than comforted by the reassurance. “If I don’t marry him, will our family be ruined? And Cassandra?”

“No. We’ll be grist for the gossip mill for a little while, but time will eventually soften everyone’s memory, and then any lingering stain on our reputation will only serve to make us very interesting dinner companions. And I promise we’ll find a perfectly nice husband for Cassandra.” Kathleen hesitated. “However, should you wish to marry in the future, this scandal might pose a problem for some men. Not all, but a few.”

“I won’t marry until women have the right to vote and make the laws fair. Which means never.” Pandora buried her face in the pillow. “Even the Queen opposes suffrage,” she added in a smothered voice.

She felt Kathleen’s gentle hand on her head. “It takes time and patience to change people’s way of thinking. Don’t forget that many men are speaking up for women’s equality, including Mr. Disraeli.”

Pandora flopped over to look up at her. “I wish he would speak up a bit more loudly, then.”

“One has to speak to people in a way they can hear.” Kathleen regarded her thoughtfully. “In any case, the law won’t change in the next two days, and you have a decision to make. Are you absolutely certain that Lord St. Vincent wouldn’t be supportive of your board game company?”

“Oh, he would support it, in the way a man supports his wife’s hobby. But it would always have to come second to everything else. It wouldn’t be convenient to have a wife who’s visiting her factory instead of planning out the dinner party. I’m afraid if I marry him, I’ll end up making one compromise after another, and all my dreams will die slowly while I’m busy looking the other way.”

“I understand.”

“Do you?” Pandora asked earnestly. “But you wouldn’t make the same choice, would you?”

“You and I have different fears, and different needs.”

“Kathleen . . . Why did you marry Cousin Devon after Theo treated you so badly? Weren’t you afraid?”

“Yes, I was very afraid.”

“Why did you do it, then?”

“I loved him too much to be without him. And I realized I couldn’t let fear make the decision for me.”

Pandora looked away, while melancholy fell over her like a shadow.

Kathleen smoothed out a wrinkle on the counterpane. “The duchess and I are taking the girls for an outing to the seashore promenade in town. We’re planning to visit some shops and have fruit ices. Would you like to come? We’ll wait until you’re ready.”

Sighing shortly, Pandora pulled the soft linen sheet over her head. “No, I don’t want to pretend to be cheerful when I’m feeling so floppulous.”

Kathleen folded down the sheet and smiled at her. “Then do whatever you like. Everyone has scattered in different directions, and the house is quiet. Devon has gone to the pier with the duke and Ivo to find out if the storm did any damage to the family yacht. Lady Clare is out on a walk with her children.”