Dirty Bastard

Knox nods and moves to the freezer, and I turn toward the hard candy. As I do, I can see several aisles over, and I catch sight of a familiar dark head that ducks down.

My body goes cold. That . . . looked like Keith. It can’t be, though. He’s not here in San Antonio. He doesn’t know I moved here. He should be in Luka. I didn’t leave a forwarding address.

I must be imagining things.

Fighting back the fear I feel, I move forward, clutching my basket to my arm. I’m not hungry anymore. I’m terrified. It’s been a good month without Keith Lawrence in my life, and I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. I thought I could move ahead. I thought I was free. I glance over at Knox, but he’s eyeing the freezer shelves, looking for the treats I requested. His back is to me. If Keith is here, what’s he going to do when he sees I’m with someone else? For a moment, I’m sick with fear—not for myself, but for Knox. Keith is crazy, and you can’t reason with crazy. I don’t want him to hurt those I love.

It takes me a moment to realize I’ve admitted to myself that I’m in love with Knox. Of course I am. He’s so easy to love. Smart, charming, clever, handsome . . . protective. Uh-oh. I can’t let him confront Keith if it is him. I brace myself and head to the far end of the store, where I saw the too-familiar dark head. When I get to the aisle, though, there’s no one there. I go down the next, just in case, but I still see no one. Nothing. The doors of the store open and I turn that way just in time to see a broad-shouldered man leaving the store.

Goose bumps cover my skin. I don’t know if it was Keith. I don’t know that it wasn’t, though.

“You want Snickers or Mars bars?” Knox says behind me. “I got you both, just in case.” He frowns as I turn back to him and takes the basket from me. “You feelin’ okay, sweetheart? You’re pale.”

“I’m always pale,” I say, trying to deflect. “And I’m fine.” It wasn’t Keith. I tell myself that over and over. It had to be a figment of my imagination. Had to be. “Let’s just go. I’m not hungry anymore.”

He frowns at me, his arm going to my waist. “Lexi—”

“I’m fine,” I tell him with a faint smile. “Why don’t you give me the keys and I’ll go wait in the truck?” It’ll allow me to check if Keith is out there, and confront him if he is.

It’s clear Knox doesn’t like my idea, but I give him a quick kiss on the mouth and snatch the keys from his hand without waiting for an argument. I hand him my basket and trot out to the parking lot as if there’s nothing wrong. All the while, I feel a bit like I’m going to pass out. I’m clammy with fear, my heart pounding out of control. I make it out of the pharmacy and scan the parking lot, waiting to see that notable orange truck. Then I’ll know for sure Keith’s back to his old stalking ways. That he’s somehow found out where I live and he’s coming after me again.

But . . . there’s nothing. The parking lot is empty of everything but Knox’s pickup and one of those tiny Smartcars.

Maybe I’m the one that’s going crazy.

I get into Knox’s truck, still on edge and wary. I turn the truck on but keep the radio off, because I want to hear if someone is coming up on us. I keep my gaze glued to the rearview mirror, but I don’t see anyone. Maybe this is all in my imagination . . . but I could have sworn it was Keith. I lock the doors and sit nervously, waiting for Knox to return.

He finally arrives with my bags of snacks and I unlock the doors to let him in. “What is it?” Knox asks again.

I shake my head. “It’s nothing. Just me overreacting.”

“To what?”

“Let’s just go,” I say impulsively. “Let’s go to your place and pig out on snacks and cuddle all night.” I don’t want Keith following me back to the guesthouse. If it is Keith, of course. I’m still not entirely sure of what I saw.

Knox reaches over and touches my hand, rubbing his thumb over my skin. “You can tell me what’s going on, Lexi. You can trust me.”

“I know.” I’m just not sure I trust myself as to what I saw.

My answer doesn’t satisfy him. “Then tell me what’s bothering you. Trust me to help you.”

“I’m trusting you as much as I can,” I protest, though I know it’s a weak excuse, even to me. “I just need time.”

“You’re not trustin’ me,” he reiterates. “Not like you should. When are you gonna let me into your life fully?”

“I’m trying.”

“Are you? I didn’t know about your checkup until today. Just wondering what else I’m gonna be surprised with.”

I have no answer for that, because I didn’t include him. He’s right. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to go. I just didn’t think about inviting him. I’m used to it being me and only me. “Sorry. I’ll do better.”

He grunts and then looks over at me. “Maybe we should get married. Get you on my insurance. Make sure you and the baby are taken care of.”

“Maybe,” I agree, but I don’t sound convincing, even to my own ears.

* * *

* * *

Knox is silent for the rest of the drive. We turn down the gravel road to his trailer—tucked away in the trees by the trailers that belong to his brothers. I have no idea why a billionaire wants to live in a double-wide, but that’s part of Knox’s charm. He’s impossible to pin down as “normal.” Oddly enough, I kind of like his place. It’s nice and remote and quiet, and even if it’s a mini trailer park, they keep it clean. I’ve seen deer wandering through, and Knox started buying deer corn and setting up a feeder because he knows I like to watch them. Sometimes we sit on his front step and just watch the deer as they peek out of the trees. It’s quiet and peaceful.

Today, though, I don’t want to sit outside. I want to go indoors and hide. I grab the bag of snacks and practically rush into the trailer, and when Knox comes in behind me, I snap the door shut and throw the lock, something he never does.

“Lexi?”

“Just being weird,” I say brightly. “You know me.”

“I do, and that’s why this is throwin’ me off.”

I set the food on the counter and shake my head. “I’m just being jittery. I think it’s the baby stuff. It’s finally getting to me and frying my nerves. I mean, I don’t even have a legit job right now. I’m trying to launch the Cruel Yoga stuff, but there’s so much to get done before I start showing and—”

“Hey,” he murmurs, moving to my side. He pulls a box of Pop-Tarts out of my hand that I didn’t realize I was clutching, and then takes me into his arms. “Whatever you need, I’m right here for you.” His hand strokes over my head, down my hair. “I ain’t going anywhere.”

My stomach just feels like one big knot. He says he’s not going anywhere, but what if Keith starts making things hell? What if I become too demanding and Knox gets tired of me? What if twenty-four’s far too young to start a family and he gets sick of the concept after a few months? I can’t depend on him. I haven’t been able to depend on anyone, ever. It’s always just been me looking out for me.

Strangely enough, instead of bolstering my strength, I just feel sad and lonely. I rest my head against Knox’s chest and feel like crying. Of course, if I cry, that’s going to freak him out even more. I slide my hand under his shirt, just wanting to touch the warm firmness of his muscles to ground myself. He strokes a hand down my back and caresses my butt, and just that small touch makes me hungry for him.

I need to forget. I want to forget everything but Knox. So I lift my head in an invitation to kiss, and when his mouth claims mine, I show him just how needy I am. I press up against him and lift one leg up to his hips. He grips it, and then when I lift the other, he raises me into the air, holding me against the cradle of his hips, my pussy rubbing against his cock.

Without a word, he takes me into the bedroom and lays me down on his bed. Since we’ve been seeing each other, he’s taken pains to keep his trailer neater, and the bed is made with fresh blankets and newly fluffed pillows. I don’t care about any of that. I just want him to touch me. To make me forget for a while.

We kiss as he idly undresses me, his hands skimming along my body and caressing every inch of me. This isn’t going to be a speedy fuck, but a more tender loving, and it makes me want to cry with how wonderful he is . . . even as it makes me unbearably aroused. When he’s done undressing me, he takes his clothes off, and then his body’s over mine, skin to skin. He touches me everywhere—breasts, arms, neck, stomach—and then kisses me in all those parts as well until I’m writhing under him, begging for him to take me. When he does, it’s with the same thoughtful intensity that he does everything, and he waits for me to come before he takes his own pleasure.

And for a little while, I’m able to forget about my worries and just enjoy being his.

Chapter 17

Knox

I watch Lexi sleep in my arms, her head pressed to my chest. We’ve spent most of the afternoon in bed, watching TV, pigging out on snacks, and then making love over and over again. It’s late and she’s exhausted, her mouth parted in slumber. Me, I can’t sleep.

I keep thinking about today. Something about it feels off. There’s too many things going on that I can’t put my finger on that bug me. It’s not just the fact that she forgot to invite me to the checkup with the doctor. It’s not that she casually shrugged off my haphazard suggestion of marriage. I kind of expected those sorts of things from Lexi. She only lets you as close as she’s comfortable with. It’s frustrating, but not unexpected.

But the real terror she showed in the pharmacy threw me off. I don’t know what caused her to panic like that, but I nearly aged ten years when I turned to her and she was all white-faced, practically shaking as she held the basket to her chest. I don’t buy that she was distracted and that it was nothing.