I glanced away, noting the sharp sting beneath my ribcage. Wow. That painful pang of disappointment was unexpected. It already hurt more than I imagined it would. He wanted to play. But I realized my heart wanted more.

I’d done plenty of playtime with men. But now, having seen what my sister Evie had with Mateo, I realized I wanted more than a fun affair. If anything, my experience with Devraj reminded me that I could feel deeply for another man. But I couldn’t let myself play with a man who already had his hooks in me. Not knowing those three little words—while I’m here—gutted me while we swayed on the dancefloor.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we ended this on a high note? When there’s no chance of changing expectations or hurting each other’s feelings.” I forced a cheerful smile up at him. “What we had was perfect, and I don’t want to ruin that.”

I thought he might laugh it off, but instead, he sobered, examining me again with the intensity of a vampire who’d been alive for three centuries. He was so much older than me it was terrifying. Though I looked to be in my early twenties, I was thirty-seven. And that was still obviously a huge age gap between us and our experiences in the world.

He opened his mouth as if to snap off a protest to what I said. But then he only stared for another moment before his gaze slid away, sweeping the club beyond my shoulder. And, damn, did I suddenly see the Stygorn in him. I was so used to seeing Devraj the charmer that I was almost shocked to see this hard expression steeling him into sharper, forbidding angles. It was a dangerous look that made me breathless with the power and strength this man possessed, hiding behind a veneer of charisma.

The song ended, and I was ready to be out of his arms. Why? Because all I wanted to do was press myself closer, lick his throat, and then climb him like a tree. Indulging in Devraj would only hand him the scalpel to make a clean slice through my heart. No. I wasn’t willing to let that happen.

I pulled away, letting my hand fall from his shoulder. For a split second, he squeezed my hand, holding me tighter, his brow pinching together. Then he let me go.

“Emma needs another treatment from you at the hospital,” he said, voice soft.

I nodded. “I’ll get Jules to take me tomorrow.”

“I could take you.”

“I’d prefer it if Jules did.”

He opened his mouth to say something then closed it. He gave me a stiff nod, beautiful dark eyes piercing mine as he followed me to the exit.

We walked home in silence, the tension a painful thrum in my breast. I hated conflict of any kind. And though this one was unspoken, I was already mourning the loss of Devraj. Not that I’d ever had him, the way I wanted him.

At my front gate, he grabbed my hand, halting me. “Thank you for helping us with this case,” he whispered low, his thumb brushing across my knuckles.

“Of course.” I faced him. “I wanted to help. You know I did.”

“And thank you for—” he glanced at his house next door, biting his lip—“for last night. It was a night I’ll never forget.”

I couldn’t answer, unwilling to tell him it was already seared into my memory for all time. Then I walked away from him, a painful knot in my stomach. I reminded myself that the knot would turn into a hole in my heart if I let myself be with him. While he was here.

Chapter 19

~ISADORA~

“It’s seven o’clock,” said Clara, popping her head into the office in the back of the shop. “I locked up the front.”

“Okay.” I’d been working on this month’s vendor requisitions to restock our bestselling items, having managed to keep busy all day so my thoughts wouldn’t wander to Devraj. “I’ll meet you over there.”

“Hurry up,” she said in her light sing-song voice before heading toward the back exit.

Jules closed the Cauldron up early on Sundays and cooked a big pot of something for the family and any staff who wanted to join us. They were pretty much family, too.

That’s just what I needed. A bowl of some good, spicy comfort food. I shut down everything quickly, locked up the store, and sauntered next door through the back entrance, finding only Jules in the kitchen, stirring something in a big Magnalite pot.

“What are we having?” I asked.

She glanced over her shoulder, her hair pulled back with bobby pins on both sides to keep it out of her face. What little makeup she wore was completely gone now at the end of the day. She looked so young like that.

“Redfish Court-bouillon. Could you grab that platter and bring it out to the table?”

“Sure thing.”

I picked up the tray she was pointing to that had a steaming bowl of rice, some fresh chopped chives, and a basket of fresh-baked French bread. I heard Evie’s booming laughter before I pushed open the door and smiled at the sound. She had such an infectious laugh.

I marched in, so ready to hang with my family and let my worries go for a while. But as soon as I approached the three tables put together for our large crew, my adrenaline shot through my veins like lightning. Evie perched sideways on Mateo’s lap, and right next to them was Devraj.

Damn. I’d forgotten that Violet had invited him earlier this week. So much had happened, like interrogating a vampire in Ruben’s secret room and having sex on Devraj’s white shag rug, that it had totally slipped my mind.

Clara sat next to Jules’s newest sous chef, Mitchell, chatting him up like crazy. But he didn’t seem to mind one bit, probably drinking in the joy that seeped out of her skin.

“Hey, Iz,” said Evie cheerily while I set the tray on the buffet table with the bowls, napkins, silverware, and a few bottles of Tabasco.

“Hey,” I returned as brightly as I could manage after having the wind just knocked out of me. When I was brave enough, I let my gaze skate to Devraj, who was, of course, staring hard.

“Come sit by me,” Evie urged.

“You mean us,” corrected Mateo, a proprietary hand spread on her thigh.

“I’m not sitting on your lap through dinner.”

“Why not?”

She laughed, the husky sound making me smile again. “That wouldn’t be very practical for eating.”

“You might be right. Maybe I’ll just eat you instead,” he said low, but not low enough I didn’t hear.

Okay, didn’t need to hear all that. I caught Devraj’s gaze again, hotter and harder. And inviting.

Nope.

“I’m gonna get something to drink,” I said, throwing a thumb over my shoulder.

Then I escaped to where JJ was still behind the bar. His best friend, Charlie, sat on his regular stool. Livvy sat beside Finnie, our bus boy and dishwasher. They were facing each other, arguing animatedly about something. Violet and Belinda, our other fulltime waitress, were still wiping down tabletops in the restaurant.

“Hey, guys,” I said, sitting next to Charlie on the end.

“Hello, my pretty Blondie,” Charlie greeted me.

I smiled, welcoming his sweetness. Charlie was the kind of guy who could always make me feel good. This was the sort of company I needed. How he was best friends with the serious and surly JJ, I had no idea. Then again, I still had a feeling there was something more than friendship lingering between the two.

“Damn!” yelled Livvy, holding out her hands in rock, paper, scissors style. “That’s two for you, zero for me. But we’re going to ten. You promised.”

Finnie shook his head at her. “You’re just gonna lose, old lady.”

“Old lady, my ass. Just because you’re barely drinking age. Hit me again.”

“What’s that about?” I asked JJ.

“If Livvy wins, then Finnie has to sing ‘Single Ladies’ at the karaoke contest in full Beyoncé costume.”

I checked out the thin but well-muscled guy I’d known since he was hired at eighteen. This was his college job while he worked toward a degree at UNO. He was a sweet, fun-loving kid. But a little shy, like me. To stand on a stage in costume and sing would be mortifying. Then again, he had a pretty-boy face, smooth mocha skin, and long, dark eyelashes. He’d probably look amazing all decked out in drag. And Livvy was the queen of makeup and dress-up. I’d heard Finnie singing enough back in the kitchen to know he could pull it off.

“And what does Finnie get if he wins?”

“She has to make him a free website for his Dungeons and Dragons campaigns he’s been writing and selling on the side.”

“And she’s gonna lose,” said Finnie, winning a third round.

“Dammit, kid! It’s like you’re psychic. Are you a warlock, and I didn’t know it?”

We all laughed as they went at it again. All of the workers—and Charlie, of course—knew who and what we really were. But they were our friends and protected our secrets out of love more than anything.

“Iced tea?” asked JJ.

“White wine,” I corrected him. “Need something a little stronger tonight.”

I refused to look over my shoulder at the dinner table, but I felt his gaze on me all the same. The exposed skin of my bare nape prickled with awareness. I’d twisted my hair on top of my head and opted for a loose cotton floral-patterned dress. I tried hard not to wonder if I looked too shabby. Nope. It didn’t matter since I no longer cared what Devraj thought, right?

JJ poured me a glass of Chardonnay and assessed me when he set the glass in front of me. “Anything you want to talk about?”

Deep breath in and out, I decided to share my new revelation. “I think I want to date again.”

“Bravo, girl,” said Charlie, angling his body toward me. “It’s about time. You need to get back out there.”

I nodded with a too-stiff affirmation, feeling awkward. “Yeah. That’s what I was thinking. But honestly, how do I do that? I spend all my time in my greenhouse or in the shop. I’m not a club scene girl, nor do I want a club scene guy. I’m just not sure how to go about this.”

“That’s easy,” said Charlie, tossing his blond bangs to the side. “Use a dating app. That’s how I find new dates all the time. Like my new guy, Patrick.”