Ecstasy in Darkness

Wait. What? Ava barely made it to her feet. “On your … team?” Maybe Mia had said “seam.” Or “beam.” Or even “cream.” Seemed too presumptuous to assume Ava had heard correctly.



McKell stood, as well, and wound an arm around her waist to hold her up.



“Yeah,” Mia said. “You passed your trainee test, so you’re hired. Now go. Get out of here. You two have a queen to find.” She paused. “Word of warning, though, Agent Sans. You’re in charge of McKell. Which means if he messes up, hurts a civilian, you’ll take the brunt of the blame. Cool?”



McKell stiffened, but the reaction didn’t really register.



Agent Sans. Freaking Agent Sans. “C-cool.” She could only gape as Mia walked away, her mind still whirling. She was an agent. A real agent. No longer in training. This was a dream come true. Because she’d done it; she’d proven herself worthy.



“I have to tell Noelle,” she squeaked, turning in McKell’s arms to face him. She was trembling uncontrollably.



“Congratulations.” At first, she thought he meant to kiss her. Then he canted his head to the side, his expression becoming pensive, his gaze faraway. “Apparently Mia called her earlier. Noelle’s even waiting for us outside, a few of the trainees with her. They’re supposed to help us hunt the queen.”



Still in shock, head now buzzing, feeling as if she were floating, Ava fisted his shirt. “How do you know?”



“I just heard Mia inform the guards.”



“In the hallway?” Ava listened and heard … only that annoying buzz in her head, she realized. When would it stop? When would her feet settle back on the ground?



“Yes.”



“Nice trick.” She’d just have to remember to watch her mouth whenever he was nearby. No way she wanted him to overhear her telling Noelle how sexy he was. Or anything else she might wax poetic about him.



He leaned down and nuzzled her cheek. “Well, your blood makes me strong.”



The reminder sobered her, and the buzzing faded. Her feet hit cold concrete. She suddenly wished they hadn’t.



One of her dreams had just come true; she’d just realized how much she liked this man, maybe even wanted some kind of future with him; and yet, she still wasn’t complete. With just a few words, he’d put her back in her place. Blood donor. He might like her, defend her, protect her, even enjoy her, but in the end, that was the string that held them together.



Not true. You’re just looking for reasons to dump him now that you know he means more to you than anyone else ever has. You’re trying to find a way out of those decisions you need to make. Like turning from human to vampire. Like trusting him with her eternity. Like sharing all that she was, all that she would be. Like letting go of her fears, trusting him with not just her eternity but her heart and her concerns, believing that he felt the same and would never leave if, say, her blood no longer sustained him.



A lump grew in her throat. Maybe she was looking for reasons to dump him. Maybe not. Now wasn’t the time to ponder. “Let’s get this hunt started, then.” Suddenly cold despite the heat he radiated, she pulled from him. “We have a lot to do.”



He frowned. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”



Sweetheart. He’d never called her sweetheart before, and she fell a little harder for him. What’s wrong? he’d asked. The truth wouldn’t appeal, but neither would a lie suffice. “Come on. We’ll talk later.”



“Our later is already overpacked.”



Very true. Still. She followed the same path Mia had taken, silent. McKell quickly caught up, silent himself, and took her hand. They strode through the building like that, like a couple. Every agent she encountered knew of her promotion and slapped her on the back, cheered, and congratulated her—even the ones who had once whispered behind her back, calling her trash.



They might have been pretending to be happy for her now, though. A wee bit of jealousy radiated from some of the girls, and a tad bit of resentment wafted from some of the men. In their minds, a slutty trainee had simply seduced a target to bring him in, and she had no true skill.



She ignored them all, still floundering and raw on the inside, and held her head high for her first true victory walk. No matter what they thought, she’d done the impossible, as Mia had said. Won the vampire—and kept all her fingers.



Noelle was waiting in the parking lot, just as McKell had claimed. “Congratulations,” she said, grinning and throwing her arms around Ava.



The hug forced her hand from McKell’s. “You, too.” Her tone was just as raw as her emotions.



“Can you believe it? Official badasses, you and me.” Noelle pulled back, her smile fading. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you happier? I’ve got trainees in the van. Our trainees! We’re in charge of them now.”



“I’m happy. I swear.”



Noelle eyed her suspiciously. “Why don’t I—”



“Add this discussion to our list for later.” McKell pulled Ava away from her friend and smashed her into the hard line of his body. His arms were as strong as always, and this time, she didn’t feel so numbed against their heat. She curled into him, even though he was at the center of her turmoil. To be honest, though, he was also the center of her calm. “I have an idea to begin our hunt for the queen.”



“I’m listening,” Noelle said.



“The queen approached Dallas at his home. Therefore, we will go there, and I’ll follow her scent. Wherever it leads.”



Simple. Easy.



“All right. I like it.” Noelle nodded. “You can follow me and the trainees—our trainees,” she added, grinning again.



“Can do.” Their vehicles were side by side, so Ava didn’t have too far to walk. She climbed in, McKell beside her. A few minutes later, they were on the road and headed into … danger?



The moon was still high, but muted, and the rain had stopped, allowing the streetlamps to illuminate his perfect features. She didn’t like the thought of him in danger.



“What about daylight vampires?” she asked him. This she could do. Chat about something uncomplicated, be with him … lust for him. Beautiful man. It was familiar. “Are we giving up the search?”



There was a pause, as if he debated venturing down this path. “Just for now,” he finally said. “They aren’t the biggest threat. However, if we happen to run across one or twenty, we won’t walk away. And you won’t engage them without me,” he added in a rush.



“Fine.” She’d learned her lesson well. “You’ll get no argument from me, promise.”



He paused again, but this one was far more tense. “Ava.”



Oh, no. Was he preparing to ask what was wrong with her again? She—



“Tell me about yourself,” he said gently. “I’ve tasted you, yet I know so little about your past, and I desperately want to know.”



Gold star for McKell. He’d just made a direct hit to her deepest, most secret longings. Maybe she was more to him. Maybe she didn’t have to fear. “Why don’t we trade information? I’m curious about you, too.” Just as desperately.



“Like for like?” he asked, and there was an edge of satisfaction in his voice.



She nodded.



“A sound plan.” His violet eyes swirled. “You may begin.”



“What would you like to know?”



Now that violet gaze roved over her, leaving heat, so much heat, in its wake. But when he next faced her, it was yearning she saw, causing her heart to skitter. “What were you like as a child?”



“A troublemaker, I guess.”



“So not much has changed.” He chuckled affectionately.



She punched his shoulder, but she couldn’t stop the grin lifting the corners of her lips. That grin didn’t last long. She wasn’t going to lie to him and dress her childhood up. He already thought humans were inferior; what would he do when he learned that she was the lowest of the low? Or rather, had been.



Finally leave her? Well, good riddance! View her as trash? Bastard! He’d already heard Noelle’s mother refer to her as trash, already heard Johnny refer to her as a slut, so why not confirm it for him?



That’s not how McKell is with you, and you know it. You’re letting your fears take over again. Stop. Now. She wasn’t going to think the worst of him.



“Ava,” he said, clearly confused. “I can hear the blood rushing through your veins. Something’s wrong again. Do you wish to discuss something else, then?”



How accommodating he was. Part of her wished he’d just grab her and jerk her onto his lap again, then kiss the breath—and the words—right out of her. The other part of her, the part that had resisted him from the first, finally wanted him to know everything.



“I grew up in a trailer park in Whore’s Corner,” she said flatly. “You know, the poorest part of town. My mother was a drunk, and my dad was a convicted felon who liked to steal and use Onadyn. You’ve heard of that, right? Aliens who can’t breathe our air have to take it. Humans and aliens who can breathe our air use it to get wasted, even though it’s illegal. My mom’s many boyfriends came and went throughout the years, and they were just as vile as my dad. Users, thieves, unconcerned about those around them.”



“Did any of them hurt you?” he asked, his voice as flat as hers.



That comforted her, helped her continue on. “Not for lack of trying. I learned to sneak out, to stay awake. To fight. Then I met Noelle and started spending a lot of time at her place. And getting drunk. And fighting. And stealing, just like my dad. I was arrested a lot. And when I wasn’t in jail, I dated boys I shouldn’t have. Bad boys who didn’t really care about me, yet managed to make me feel wanted, if only for a little while.”



His fingertips traced the veins in her hand, soft, tender. “I’m glad you weren’t hurt. I would have had to tear this world apart, finding each and every one of the men who had done so, and letting you cheer me on as I ripped them to shreds.”



“Just so you know, so there are no misunderstandings, I—I was considered a beggar. Dirty. T-trashy.”



Now he stiffened, his eyes slitting dangerously. “By who?”



“Everyone.”



“Looks like I’ll be tearing this world apart, after all. The citizens are amazingly foolish. What you grew up with, around, doesn’t define who you are. And you are the best person, human or vampire, that I’ve ever met.”



Tears. Those stupid, stupid tears were forming again, burning.



“My turn,” he said, as if he hadn’t just destroyed her so exquisitely. “I was a beautiful child, and most everyone loved me.” He peered over at her, as if waiting for a reply. What did he want her to say? She’d tell him anything. Finally, though, he gave up, shoulders sagging a little, and continued. “My father was commander of the king’s army, and my mother cousin to the queen. I—”



“Wait. So you’re royalty?”



“Yes.” He said it simply. As if the confirmation didn’t make her want to puke.



“Yeah, but royalty?”



“Yes. Isn’t that wonderful?”



No! “Go on,” she croaked out.



“Well, it was clear early on that I was destined for greatness.” Again he paused, waited. Again she remained silent, unsure of what he wanted to hear from her. His shoulders sagged a little more. “At a very young age, I could defeat even my father. So, I was recruited into the army. I climbed the ranks quickly, until a few years later, I was second in command.”



Back to an image she could handle. McKell, kicking ass. “What kind of battles do vampires fight in those tunnels?”



“We are a monarchy, and rebels sometimes sprout up. They must be extinguished. Also, twice a year we must leave the underground and hunt humans up here, bringing them below to be our food-slaves. I’ve told you that before, haven’t I?”



Food-slaves, yes, but she hadn’t realized they were hunted and incarcerated. After the Schön were taken care of, she and McKell might be taking a trip to those caves and freeing the “food.”



“Anyway,” he added, and his eagerness intensified her confusion. He liked sharing about himself? Well, of course, she thought next. With his past, why would he want to hide it? “My father died while fighting a nefreti.”



“A what?”



“A vampire too powerful to live. Like Bride. Remember, they possess every gift you can imagine. Mind reading, teleporting, invisibility. The nefreti killed the former king and my cousin the queen, and Manus, their oldest son, took over.”



Backtracking. McKell had been engaged to Bride. She’d known that. The all-powerful, wonderful Bride. She’d known that, too. As Ava had told McKell earlier, she thought they were over their jealousy issues. Apparently she wasn’t. Hearing him even say Bride’s name made her want to sharpen her nails into dagger-points.



“As you can imagine, nefreti are difficult to kill. When my father fell, I assumed control of the army, and I’ve been leading them ever since. Until recently, of course. Anyway, that was centuries ago.”



Her eyes almost bugged out of her head. “Centuries. You’ve been alive centuries?” Yeah, they’d talked vampire lifespans before, but she must not have connected the dots. He was old. Experienced.



“Yes.” He watched her intently, gauging. “Don’t you see? I’m strong enough to fight this queen and her disease. You have nothing to fear. I will defeat her, and all will be well with your work, your … life.”