Ecstasy in Darkness

“Agreed.”



Thirty-one



Three days after McKell had told her how much he loved her, that he wanted her safe, Ava realized he’d abandoned her. She’d expected the abandonment from the first, but had maybe kinda sorta convinced herself it wouldn’t happen.



What made it worse was that she knew he hadn’t wanted to leave her. There hadn’t been a good-bye in his last kiss. Merely relief and joy. He wouldn’t have felt those things if he’d been planning on leaving her. Because he loved her. He fucking loved her. But he was missing, and there wasn’t a goddamn thing she could do about it.



She knew he would come back to her if he could. Which meant he couldn’t come back.



Oh, God. A new round of sobbing started up.



The last few minutes together kept replaying in her mind. He’d plopped her in that seat at the coffee shop and taken off as if his feet were on fire. She’d sat there a moment, staring at Noelle, confused, overjoyed that her live-in had just admitted to deeper feelings, real feelings, when she’d realized he had also told her that Schön warriors were at her apartment. In a snap, she’d known he meant to battle them on his own.



Like she could allow that to happen.



She’d gathered her group and taken off after him. Only to watch him disappear. She hadn’t known what had happened to him, where he’d gone, how he’d gone. But she’d waited. For hours. A day, then two. Never moving from the sidewalk. On this third morning, she’d been weak, shaky, crying, nearing hysteria because he could be hurt or worse, and Noelle had managed to overpower her and whisk her home.



Along the way, her friend had told her that Johnny and every other Schön-infected person locked in AIR headquarters had disappeared the same morning McKell had. Just boom, there one moment, gone the next.



Where? How? she wondered. Where they with McKell? Was he infected now?



And then, yesterday, Johnny had been returned to AIR. Again, just boom, pop, he was there when he hadn’t been a moment before. He’d been confused, yet healthy. And thirsty. So thirsty. Thanks to McKell’s blood, he was a vampire now. And he wanted Ava.



He called all the time. Only once had she answered, and that had been to ask him where he’d gone, how he’d gotten back, if he’d seen McKell. He hadn’t known, so she didn’t care to talk to him.



Another round of sobs started, and she rolled to her side. She lay on the bed she’d shared with McKell for one glorious sexcapade, his scent all over the sheets. She might never leave.



Noelle was in the process of packing McKell’s things, trying to clear any memory of him from Ava’s mind. A good plan. Except for the fact that he was burned into her memory no matter what was around her.



Ava squeezed her eyes shut, holding the rest of the tears in place.



The mattress eased down on one side. “You look terrible,” Noelle said gently.



“Don’t care.”



“Hellina’s doing well. She’s sleeping on the couch with a nice warm bellyful of my blood.”



“Good.”



“Okay, how about this.” The bed dipped again as Noelle stretched out beside her, turned, and draped an arm over her waist. “I’m gonna do you a solid and let you out of your promise to go to my mom’s cocktail party.”



“Thanks,” she offered, and it was the most she could do. She hadn’t felt this lonely, this abandoned—didn’t matter if McKell had left willingly or not—even when her father had taken off.



While she’d stood propped against that building, feet aching unbearably, heart aching worse, she’d called Mia, asked if there was a way to track McKell or any of the others. The answer had been an unequivocal no. They’d disappeared as if they’d never been.



She hadn’t cared, though, because the disease they’d all feared had been seemingly eradicated in one swoop. AIR had broken down and tested Johnny upon his return and discovered McKell’s blood had healed him.



When he realized he couldn’t get her by phone, Johnny had tried to visit her a few times, but Noelle had barred him from the apartment. McKell would have beaten him into pulp for daring to try to steal what was his. If he’d been here.



Great. More sobs.



“McKell’s crazy about you,” Noelle continued in that gentle tone. “He’ll come back. One day.”



“I don’t want to talk about him. I can’t talk about him.”



“Okay, okay. I’ll take mercy on you and change the subject.” Soft fingers stroked her hair. “So get this. I was at AIR headquarters this morning, and Dallas and Hector Dean were both there. Both of them were watching me like I was a turkey and it was Thanksgiving.”



“You should be used to that.” The words were thick, her nose stuffed. “All men look at you that way.”



“Yeah, but they also looked ready to kill me. As if I was a Thanksgiving turkey that hadn’t yet had my neck snapped and feathers plucked.”



She sniffed. “Why would they want to kill you? You’re one of them now.”



“That’s what’s so crazy about the whole situation.”



“Maybe you misread them. Maybe they were looking at you but thinking of something else.”



A pause. Then, “Maybe. So let’s backtrack to McKell.” Noelle’s mercy hadn’t lasted long. “He can’t exist without your blood, Ava. Like I said, he’ll be back.”



“Bride told me that vampires can drink a potion that removes the need for their … mate’s blood. That once they ingest it, they can drink from anyone they want again. And that they can never … they can’t ever … they can’t see their former mate ever again.”



Part of her feared that had happened. That McKell had taken the potion. Part of her hoped that he had. Because three days had already passed, and he would soon weaken. Wherever he was, whoever he was with, he would need strength to stay safe. And she’d rather be without him, knowing he was alive, strong, than delight in the knowledge that he would never be able to drink from anyone else.



“I’m sorry, Noelle, but I’m terrible company right now. Could you maybe go?”



Another pause. A sigh. “Of course, baby doll, but I’ll be back.”



Footsteps sounded, followed by the slide of her front door. All the sobbing had worn her out, and Ava drifted into a fitful sleep, letting the darkness wrap around her and offer what little comfort it could. Without McKell by her side, she tossed and turned, unable to truly rest despite her fatigue. A few hours passed, and she dazedly thought she should be hungry, but no. Her stomach hated the idea of food.



Hellina barked from the living room, growled, then whimpered happily. Ava didn’t rouse from the bed.



“Ava!”



She must be daydreaming, depression and heartache shooting her straight into a land of insanity. What did she care, though? She liked this daydream. That had been McKell’s voice, as hard and uncompromising as she remembered and loved.



“Ava! Where are you?”



Would her mind actually supply her with an image of him? “McKell,” she called weakly. “I’m here.”



“Ava!”



Boots thudded against her floor, and then her vampire was stalking into her bedroom. He flipped on the light, spied her on the bed, and his expression darkened with concern. “What’s wrong with you?”



This couldn’t be a daydream, she thought then, common sense finally sparking to life. He was panting, pale, unsure, and she could smell the unique scent of him. He looked just as he had the first night she’d met him. Shirtless, that necklace of bone hanging from his neck.



“Are you real?” she asked hesitantly, too afraid to hope.



“Yes. I met my father.” The words poured from him in a frantic rush as he moved to the bed and crawled on top of her, as if he couldn’t wait a second more to touch her. “My real father. He removed the Schön from this world, so you’re safe for the moment, and then asked me to stay with him. I didn’t want to, but I agreed. For you. For your life. You were going to be infected. Did you know that?”



He was truly here, she realized. He was real. He was alive. His weight pinned her, his heat enveloped her, and his minty breath caressed her.



Oh, God.



“McKell!” She threw her arms around his neck, and held on tight. His heartbeat hammered in time with hers. “I missed you so much. I worried. I—I—” She was sobbing again, but this time with were tears of joy.



Gently he brushed those tears away. “I saw the past, the future. Reversed and forwarded. And the outcome was always the same, until my father intervened. But he could only endure my company for two weeks before my whining about being away from you irritated him beyond his never-before-encountered tolerance level. His phrasing, not mine.”



Some of his words finally penetrated her happy fog. “Your father is alive? And you’ve been gone two weeks, according to your timetable, but three days according to mine?”



“Yes.”



Confusing, she thought, but what did time matter? He was here! “I’m just so glad you’re home. I love you. I love you so much.”



He squeezed her so tightly she lost her breath. “I love you, too. So, so much, that I’m dead without you.” He pulled back to press little kisses all over her face, even as he kicked the covers away from her. “I’m going to have you now.”



“Yes.”



“Good girl, agreeing quickly.” He licked her neck. “Did I ever tell you that with you, there is no deal breaker?”



She tugged at the waist of his pants. “You mean it?”



“I mean it. Now let me prove it.”



Without another word, McKell lifted Ava’s shirt over her head and tossed the material aside. Her amber curls tumbled down her shoulders and arms. Leaning in, he inhaled deeply. Oh, that butterscotch. He would never get enough.



When she cupped her breasts, lifting them for his waiting mouth, his thoughts realigned. Oh, those breasts. He would never get enough. He tongued her nipples through her bra.



Those nipples beaded for him, which lit a fire in his blood. He almost laughed. When he was around Ava, there was always a fire in his blood. But in his exuberance, his fangs ripped through the fabric and scraped her skin. Not enough to break it, but just enough to cause her to shiver into goosebumps.



Her hands tangled in his hair, nails scouring, and she scooted her hips toward him. The core of her brushed his erection, and he moaned.



“Ava,” he rasped. Just her name, but the plea was evident.



Shaky fingers finally popped off the button on his pants, and then those wonderful fingers were clutching his length, squeezing. So good. So damn good.



“Mine,” she said.



“Yes. Yours. Always.”



She must have liked his reply because she squeezed even tighter, dragging the first drop of pre-come from his cock. After that, he lost control. Not that he’d ever had control with her.



His hands moved all over her, kneading her breasts, caressing her belly, tearing at her soft shorts and panties. Finally she was naked. All that sun-kissed skin … those lithe thighs … the sweet, glistening spot between her legs … His.



“Spread your legs for me, as wide as they can go,” he commanded, even as he stood. She obeyed, and he quickly disposed of his shoes and the rest of his clothing.



She watched unabashedly, pinching her nipples before delving her fingers between those mouthwateringly beautiful folds. Her hips arched up. Her teeth nibbled her lower lip, those amber curls splayed around her delicate face. The most erotic sight he’d ever beheld.



He was pretty sure he’d thought that about her before, about something else she’d done, but each new thing she did revealed a new pleasure to his eyes. Therefore, he was confident he would change his mind again, think the next thing she did was the most erotic.



“Want to join me?” she asked huskily. “I need you. Missed you.”



He fell back on top of her. She gasped, and he thought he might be crushing her so he flipped them over, allowing her to take the lead. She did. Eagerly.



Up she sat, placing his cock at her sex. Down she slid, unwilling to wait a moment more. He filled her, had to grip her hips to still her before she could begin moving. The exquisite pleasure … He was ready to come from that alone. She surrounded him, enclosed him, held him tight.



She flattened her palms on his chest, gaze meeting his. “I love you like this,” she whispered. “Mine for the taking.”



Oh, the words she used. Love. Mine. “More?”



“Always.”



Up and down she moved, and he was lost, wild, needy, hers, desperate, arching up, thrusting deep. Her head fell back, hair tickling his thighs. Little hisses were escaping him, his claws so long they were probably cutting her, but he couldn’t stop, couldn’t even slow.



She didn’t seem to mind. No, she seemed to love everything he did. Hips swirling, meeting him, taking him, demanding more. Have to taste, have to taste. McKell jerked upright, and as she sank deeper, he claimed her mouth with his own. Their tongues tangled, rolling together, dueling for supremacy.



Soon she was moaning every few seconds, gasping; he swallowed the sounds, loving how they hummed through his body, connecting them on yet another level. He was feverish, and she was both the fuel and the cure.



He reached between them and strummed her clitoris with his thumb. She bucked wildly, then, wrapping her arms around him, nearly choking him, shuddered her release. Screamed.



Her orgasm made way for his, and he jetted inside her.



“Ava!” he shouted, muscles clenching painfully.



When the last drop left him, he fell backward on the bed, those muscles finally loosening their grip. Ava tumbled with him, remaining on top of him, utterly relaxed and, he liked to think, completely sated. He petted her hair.