Eternal Kiss of Darkness

"I can get it."

Kira went to pick up the largest piece of the chair when the wood splintered apart in her hand. She blinked and tried again, but the same thing happened. It was almost as if the chair disintegrated as soon as she touched it.

"What?" she began.

Mencheres moved next to her, close but not touching. Whenever she had an extended bout of awareness, like this one, he heeded her order not to touch her. She knew that wasn't the case during her blood-rampaging blackouts, but she couldn't blame him for that.

Of course, with his scent and tingling aura flowing over her, Mencheres might as well be touching her. Add in his voice, and Kira felt consumed just being near him.

"You are unused to your new strength." He reached down, grasping a chunk of the wooden armrest. It didn't dissolve into splinters like it had with her. He held it out to Kira.

"Try taking this, but very gently. "

She grasped the wood - and it fell apart in her hand. Frustrated, Kira spun around, only to feel something stinging at her ankle. She looked down. Her right foot had gone through the wooden floor.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed, yanking her foot out. More of the floor came up with it, leaving a ragged hole.

"As I said, you are unused to your strength," Mencheres noted, no reprimand staining his tone even though she'd just ruined his chair and his floor. "This is another reason why you cannot be around humans until you have acclimated yourself to your new abilities." She couldn't even rock back in a chair or stomp her foot without causing massive damage? Add that to the blood-crazed blackouts every hour or so, and she'd been turned into a walking death machine!

Kira's eyes burned as if they'd been sprayed with Mace, her too-sharp vision turning pink and blurry. Would she ever be able to hug her sister again? Or would she crush Tina as easily as she'd ruined this chair if she touched her?

"Damn you for this," she choked, turning away from the sight of Mencheres. Then immediately, she wished she hadn't said that. It wasn't fair to blame him. He'd done his best to help her, both before Radje arrived and after, when the crooked cop made that lethal judgment against her.

From the corner of her eye, it appeared as though her words had no effect on Mencheres, but a wave of sadness ebbed through her consciousness. Kira stilled. She wasn't sad. She was angry and confused and starting to get hungry again already, but not sad.

Was that sadness from him? Could she actually feel his emotions now, like she could feel his power and the touch of his voice?

Kira remembered the last words she heard as a human: no matter what you say - I am bringing you back. Was Mencheres sad about being forced to kill her, or was he regretting his decision to bring her back as a vampire? Which were his real feelings: his previous, dismissive attitude about her to Radje yesterday? Or how caring he'd been when he first came to the club and healed her? He'd made no effort to see her after he let her go, but then Radje, after ordering her death, implied that he could tell Mencheres cared for her.

Before, wondering what the mysterious vampire thought of her had been the source of Kira's dark, secret imaginings, but now, it was imperative that she know. Mencheres had altered her very existence and become a pivotal figure in her new life, but she had no idea if he regarded her as nothing more than a temporary irritant.

She looked up at him, noting that his usual impassive expression was firmly in place.

Didn't matter. She wanted some answers before she lost her mind to another blackout or her consciousness to the coming dawn.

"Why did you mesmerize my boss into giving me a car and a raise?" she asked, almost tensing in her concentration to see if she could sense any emotions from him.

A faint tinge of surprise wafted across her subconscious before it vanished. Kira almost whooped. That couldn't be from her; she wouldn't be surprised by her own question!

"That's you, isn't it?" she asked, not giving Mencheres time to answer her other question. "Unbelievable, I can feel you now."

Just as abruptly, a wall seemed to slam in place around him, cutting off everything from Kira, even the tingling wave of his aura.

"You would be better served by concentrating on managing your strength and your blood consumption," Mencheres said, cool detachment in his tone.

She strode over, not caring that she felt the floors creak and bend beneath her feet.

"No you don't," she flared. "You don't get to wall yourself off from the only indicator I have of what you're thinking. You killed me yesterday and brought me back into an existence where everything is different, especially me. But what's almost as frightening is that I don't know if this means anything to you aside from a big, boring inconvenience. So give me something. It can be words, an unguarded expression, a flash of your emotions, whatever, but do it now, because I need a hint as to where I stand with you." If Kira could still have breathed, she would have been panting with the emotions swirling in her, but she was as still as the vampire across from her as she waited for his response. Mencheres didn't lose his inscrutable mask, nor did that invisible wall around him collapse, but at last he inclined his head.

"You were working late into the night, and as it was more than proven the day we met, it wasn't safe for you to walk to and from your employment."

For a second, Kira didn't know what he was talking about. Then she remembered her original question to him, and disil usionment coursed through her. All that time she'd spent looking for Mencheres had been based on her assumption that his actions with her boss meant he wanted to see her again. How wrong she'd been. Dead wrong, in fact. It had been nothing more than a careless gesture made out of pity. Be careful what you wish for, she mused darkly. She'd succeeded in her quest to see Mencheres again, but it had cost Kira her life.

"Thanks," she said dully. "Now, tell me why you didn't let me stay dead?" Mencheres glanced away, his face becoming even more unreadable if that were possible. "Radje's judgment was an abuse of his power. The only reason he sentenced you so harshly was because of his hostility toward me, so the least I could do was see that you did not remain dead."

Another pity gesture, Kira thought, shaking her head in disbelief. What a brilliantly wretched realization to know that her current existence was due to nothing more than one vampire's spite and another's twinge of conscience. If she'd only stayed away from Mencheres once he let her go, she'd have a new car, a raise, a sister whose life wasn't cut tragically short, some friends, an irresponsible but somewhat loving brother, and an occasional social life. But no, she'd thrown that all away chasing after a vampire who probably hadn't spared her a thought since he dropped her off on that roof. You fool, Kira lashed herself.