Finding the Lost

Page 16


Her whole perception of the world shifted in that moment, and it was as if she were suddenly looking back-stage at all the mechanics happening behind the scenes. There was so much more going on than even she knew. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to see any more. Her life was already complicated enough as it was.

“Where do we go now?” Andra asked.

Paul shot her a quick glance, then looked at Nika. Compassion wrinkled his brow, and he shook his head. “If you go home with us, we may be able to help her.”

Nika was still chanting, “No, no, no . . .”

Andra couldn’t stand to see her like this. If there were anything in her power she could do to help, she had to try. It didn’t matter how much she didn’t want to dig deeper into this new world of magic she’d just discovered. She was Nika’s big sister, and she’d do whatever it took to make her well again.

Andra smoothed Nika’s white hair back from her face, hoping to comfort her. “It’s worth a shot.”

Madoc made sure he left a nice, easy-to-follow trail of blood as he walked out of sight of the mental hospital. None of those whack jobs inside needed to see the kind of beating he was about to lay out. Their minds would really be fucked-up then.

The hospital was nice and isolated, which meant there was plenty of farmland out here, all of it framed by thick growths of trees. He found a dark, secluded spot with plenty of room to fight before he stopped.

His body was humming with power. It pounded against his eyes and scratched at his veins trying to get out. Hell, he felt like he was going to be shaken apart by it if he didn’t do something soon, and that little skirmish hadn’t even been a challenge. Thank God the night was young. He had hours of darkness before all the Synestryn would retreat back into the holes where they lived and he wouldn’t be able to find them and kill them any longer.

Madoc ripped off his T-shirt and tied it around the wound in his thigh to slow the bleeding. He didn’t want to pass out from blood loss while there was still fighting to be done. He needed every ounce of exertion he could get to stave off the fucking pain grinding at his bones. Not to mention that if he passed out, it would be the last thing he did. Literally.

Then again, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. There was no way death could hurt more than living. No fucking way.

A deep, growling rumble shook the ground. Demons were nearby. They’d found his scent and would be here any minute.

Good. He could hardly wait.

Chapter 8

Nika felt the monsters’ hunger. Their excitement.

She didn’t want to go with them, but she had no choice. A sliver of her mind was inside them, dragging her along on their hunt.

She tried to think about something else—to turn the channel in her head so that she was back in the truck with Andra, safe and sound in her sister’s lap. She liked that part of herself. Even though there were strangers in the truck with her, and one of them wanted to drink her blood, it was better than the other places she existed right now.

So many places. So many monsters. She couldn’t keep track. Her mind was torn into too many pieces and she no longer felt there was any of her real self left.

Nika saw through the eyes of a pack of sgath as they hunted. She felt damp grass under her paws and the warm night air ruffle her fur. Her claws dug deep into the earth with every powerful stride of her body. Prey was close. She could smell its blood, rich with power.

Her belly rumbled with hunger and her mouth watered, dripping glowing saliva onto the ground as she passed over it. She was close. She could hear her prey’s slow, steady heartbeat.

Her pack broke through the trees and she saw then what she hunted. He had a sword and wore the luminescent collar that marked him as a Theronai—a warrior who wanted to kill her and rid the earth of all of her kind.

The part of Nika that knew she was human cheered for the man—the same man who had been near her hospital bed earlier. But the part of Nika that was beast hissed at him in hatred. She was going to sink her teeth into his flesh and gulp down his blood before it could soak into the earth and be wasted.

More pieces of her huddled inside three more of the sgath as they charged the man. She saw his attack from all angles at once and her human mind had to struggle to turn the images into something she could translate. It was too much input. Too much hatred and rage coming from all sides of her. She didn’t want to see the man’s death, but if she stayed among the sgath, she feared that was what would happen.

The man looked into one pair of her eyes as she lunged for his throat. He didn’t recognize her. He didn’t know this wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want him to die.

He didn’t even appear to move, but she felt the metal of his blade slide through her belly. She landed hard on the ground and her insides were oozing out of a neat opening. Her paws were clumsy and couldn’t push all the organs back in. Her own blood smelled like food and she was so hungry. She knew it was futile and that she was dying, but couldn’t stop herself from lapping it from the ground as she bled out.

Back inside of the real Nika, her stomach rebelled at the acid taste of the blood, the thick, rotting smell of it. She shoved out of the thing’s mind, only to find herself trapped inside another. It was hiding from the man, waiting to strike as soon as he turned his back.

Only years of practice allowed her to pull back into her real body.

God, she was so weak. She could barely lift her head. “He’s in trouble,” she managed to get out.

“Who?” asked Andra.

“The Theronai who was with you tonight.”

“I don’t know any Theronai, baby,” said Andra in that patient, gentle voice she always used with her crazy sister.

Nika wanted to scream at her that she wasn’t crazy—her mind was just shattered into a thousand fragments that lived inside others—but she knew from experience that it never worked. When she shouted, the orderlies came with needles and put her real mind to sleep so that she had no place to retreat to. No place to hide.

Dreaming was a horrible collage of blood and hunger and war, with her mind trapped inside so many monsters. But that wasn’t the worst. She could hardly stand being with Tori anymore. The things they had done to her were hideous. Inhuman. She wasn’t even really Tori anymore—she was something dark and twisted the Synestryn intended to use as a weapon.

But Nika had promised Tori she wouldn’t leave her, so she hadn’t. Not once in all these long, painful years.

“You have to warn him,” said Nika. “There’s a sgath hiding nearby. Behind him.”


“What the hell is she talking about?” asked Paul. “How does she know about Theronai and sgath?”

“I have no idea,” said Andra. “But what I do know is that she’s been dead-on accurate all night. I suggest you listen to her.”

The truck slowed and then stopped. Nika forced her eyes open, though the effort was nearly more than she could stand. She felt like a deflated balloon, empty and limp. Useless.

“Who are you talking about, baby?” asked Andra.

“The man. With you.”

“Madoc?”

The name sounded right in her mind, like the wind roaring inside her had suddenly died down and she could hear herself think again. “Yes. Madoc. He’s in trouble.”

“How do you know, child?” asked a new voice. She turned her head toward him and saw a faint silvery light coming from within his eyes.

She knew that light. That hunger. Panic gave her strength and she scrambled away from the monster. “He wants my blood. Don’t let him have it.”

“I won’t hurt you,” he said.

“Liar, liar, liar.” Oh, God, she was losing herself again, spreading back out into the night, back into the minds of the monsters who hunted and killed and shoved their sins into her soul each time they did.

She called out to Tori to help her, but there was no answer, and she couldn’t find her baby sister’s mind among all the rest. They pulled at her, stretching her into a thousand thin strands that she was sure would break. She couldn’t take this anymore. She had to stop fighting. Give up. Let them have her.

She didn’t care anymore. She’d do anything to make it stop, even if she broke her promise to Tori.

“I’m sorry,” she heard herself whisper. It was a good sound, her own real voice coming out of her own real mouth. She could take that sound with her and be at peace. “I’m sorry.”

Nika went limp in Andra’s arms. Her breathing was labored, and Andra could see the rapid beat of her heart in the veins along her temple.

“She’s dying,” said Logan.

Outrage and denial rose up in Andra, consuming her. “No!” she shouted. “She’s not. She’s going to be fine. Her IV bag is empty. That’s all. We need to get her another.” She prayed to God it was true. She couldn’t lose Nika, too. If she did, she’d have no one else. No family. No friends.

Paul’s hand settled on her arm, and warmth and compassion fell like a blanket over her skin. She wanted to crawl into his lap and stay there, where she felt good. Protected. Where Nika would be safe.

But that was artificial. Whatever this thing between them was, it wasn’t real. Just a bit of magic, probably designed to trick her. And even if it wasn’t, it didn’t do a damn thing for Nika.

Andra pulled her sister close and rocked her. She tried to think of a way to soothe her, but nothing came to her, not even the faint memory of a song they used to sing. Nothing.

“We need to get her to a place she can rest, eat,” said Logan. “She’s too weak to travel.”

“There’s a Gerai house not far from here. We’ll go there.”

She didn’t know what a Gerai house was, but she trusted Paul to know what he was doing. “What about Madoc?” asked Andra. “We should at least let him know what she said.”

Paul’s body shifted as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed. In the quiet of the truck’s cab, she could hear the deep sound of Madoc’s voice through the thin plastic. “Kinda busy,” he panted.

“Nika said you’re in danger.”

There was a grunt and a monstrous howl of pain. “No shit. Tell me something I don’t know.”

“She said there’s a sgath there, hiding behind you.”

“How the hell would she—Hold on.” A series of vicious growls filled the line, then silence.

“Madoc?” said Paul. “You there?”

No answer.

“Madoc?” He glanced over at Andra and shook his head.

A sharp yelp of pain filled the line. It sounded like someone had kicked a dog. “Yeah, I’m here. Found the fucker. Killed it.”

“We’re packing it in for the night. Can you catch up?”

“Still bleeding.”

“Then get it stopped and come join us.”

“Why?”

“Because it would be nice to have another sword around to guard the women.”

Andra almost said she could guard herself, but she held in the stupid, self-indulgent lie. The more swords they had between Nika and those things out there, the better.

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