Finding You
Grace.
Everything came flooding back. Grace was here. My heart felt light as a feeling of happiness swept over my body.
Grace was here.
Stopping right outside the door, I heard Grace talking. It sounded as if she was reading something. I knew for a fact it wasn’t the book I had been reading.
Pushing the door open, I peeked in. Grace’s back was faced toward the door. My mother was looking out the window as Grace read.
“To be sure you have a successful winter garden, you need to prepare it ahead of time. This means work.”
Smiling, I shook my head. Grace was reading something to my mother about gardening.
Clearing my voice, the two loves of my life both turned and looked at me. My mother gave me a huge smile, as Grace jumped up and headed over to me. “Hey, sleepyhead. You must have needed the sleep.”
My smile faded some. “How long was I sleeping for?”
Grace looked back over her shoulder and then back to me. Glancing down to her ever-present watch on her wrist, she said, “Two days.”
Taking a step back, I said, “Impossible.”
Giving me a slight grin, Grace said, “Like I said, you must have needed the rest.”
Narrowing my eyes at her, I asked, “What day is it?”
Grace’s smile faded some as the look in her eyes changed. “It’s Sunday.”
Pushing my hands through my hair, I walked past Grace and up to my mother. “Mom, I’m so sorry. I had no idea I’d sleep like that.”
My mother’s face constricted as she looked at me. “Noah, sweetheart, you needed the sleep. I’m glad you got it. Everything was fine. Grace was here for me if I needed anything.”
“I’m supposed to be here for you, Mom. Not Grace.”
Hearing Grace’s intake of air caused a pain in my chest.
“Excuse me,” Grace whispered as she quickly left the room.
Closing my eyes, I shook the guilt away and looked back at my mother. “I’m sorry, Mom. I swear to you I won’t leave you alone like that again.”
Hurt washed over my mother’s face. “Noah Pete Bennet. I wasn’t alone. Grace was here and I might add, she was a breath of fresh air. Besides, Angela was here as well.”
“What if . . . what if something had happened to you and I was passed out upstairs?”
“You were sleeping, Noah. If anything had happened, Grace would have woken you up.”
Knowing I had taken the Ativan and the Valium, guilt washed over my body. I was desperate for sleep and the hot bath had only relaxed me some. I’d never taken both before but the feeling of almost instant relaxation was too good to pass up.
Looking away from my mother, I pressed my lips together. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Taking my hand, my mother attempted to squeeze it. She was growing weaker by the day. “You go say you’re sorry to Grace.”
Capturing her eyes with mine, I smiled as I nodded my head. “Yes ma’am.”
Leaning over, I kissed her gently on the cheek before making my way through the house to find Grace.
Hearing her in the kitchen, I made my way there. Instantly, I could tell she was distant.
“Hey,” I whispered. Grace had been whipping eggs together in a bowl when I walked into the kitchen. Stopping, she turned and looked at me.
“There is one thing you better learn about me now, Noah. I will not be treated like a doormat.”
“I didn’t mean to treat you that way. I’m sorry if I made you feel like that, Grace.”
Worrying her bottom lip, Grace glanced down. “How many pills did you take?”
“What?” I asked, even though I heard her question.
Grace looked at me as we stared into each other’s eyes. “Pills, Noah. How many of them did you take? You were knocked out for two days.”
“I’m not a child, Grace, and I don’t need looking after. I know how many prescription pills to take.”
Walking by her, I reached for the coffee pot, only to have Grace grab my arm. Narrowing her eyes, Grace stared at me. “I will not stand by and watch you become dependent on those pills.”
Letting out a nervous chuckle, I said, “I’m not dependent on them, Grace.”
“Then tell me how many you took, Noah,” Grace said as her eyes turned glassy.
“I took one Ativan. I hadn’t been sleeping but a few hours a night. It must have all caught up to me. I guess knowing you were here, I felt relaxed knowing my mother was okay.”
Grace continued to stare at me and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back the truth from her. “And one Valium. I also took a Valium.”