Forever Too Far

RUSH



It was abnormally warm for the end of November. I had put on shorts and a tee shirt and come outside to enjoy the heat of the California sunshine.



Blaire still hadn’t come out of the room. If she wasn’t up soon I was going to get her a new plate of food and go feed her myself. I was glad she was getting sleep but she needed to eat too. Harlow had said she didn’t think Blaire ate much at dinner last night. I should have stayed with her and gone after Nan once I had Blaire tucked away in bed.



If my overly dramatic sister wasn’t so damn volatile I wouldn’t be trying to help her. I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I ignored her and something happened to her. As much of a pain in the ass as she was, she was still my sister. I still saw the little girl with pigtails smiling up at me with a toothless grin. She’d been mine when we were growing up. No one else took care of her. It was hard for me to forget that.



“Where’s that girl of yours?” Kiro asked as he sauntered out to the back patio where I’d decided to hide from Nan.



“She’s sleeping,” I replied, glad to see Kiro was outside smoking instead of inside.



“She’s a sweet thing. Reminds me of my Harlow,” he said before sticking the cigarette he was holding back between his lips.



“Yeah. She’s pretty damn perfect,” I agreed.



“You need to protect her a little more from Nan. She was spilling venom all over her last night. Your girl handled it well. I was damn impressed. But you need to take better care of her,” he drawled then flicked ashes from his cigarette before turning and walking back to the house.



I started to ask him what he was talking about when Nan came barreling out of the door wearing a bikini and a pair of stilettos.



“What’re you doing, girl?” Kiro asked her in an annoyed tone.



“Going to get some sun. Why? You want to join me? Maybe talk to me?” Nan spat out hatefully. I wanted to shake her and ask her why she had to be so damn difficult.



“No. I wanna know when you’re gonna move your ass outta my house. You keep stirring up drama. Harlow won’t even come out of her damn room. It’s time you go harass your momma for awhile and leave me in peace.” I winced at the sight of the pain in Nan’s eyes. Damn, Kiro was heartless.



“Why am I even trying? You don’t want to know me. You don’t care to know me. You have Harlow and that’s all you want. I’m nothing to you,” Nan screamed.



“Harlow isn’t a mean bitch, Nan. Try being a normal human and I just might want to get to know you. I didn’t stay with your momma for a reason girl. Guess what the reason was,” he snarled and pushed past her and into the house.



Nan’s eyes looked empty as she stood there staring at the door. Dammit. I stood up and went over to her. She noticed me and shook her head. “No. I don’t want you either. You hate me too. You picked her. Everyone picks someone else. No one wants me,” Nan cried and spun around and took off running back into the house.



I stopped at the door and listened as her heels clicked loudly on the floor until they faded away. I would have to go get her and talk to her but I was going to give her time to calm down. She needed some alone time.



“That didn’t sound good,” Blaire said, breaking into my thoughts. I turned to see her walking down the stairs. Her long blond hair was pulled up and she was wearing a light blue swimsuit with a white see through cover up that hung off her shoulder and hit at mid thigh. Her eyes looked rested but what she’d just heard had caused a worried frown.



“Yeah, it was brutal,” I replied, closing the distance between us and pulling her to me before I kissed those pink full lips. I didn’t like seeing her frown so much. She slipped her arms around my waist and opened her mouth to me. I tasted the minty flavor of her toothpaste and enjoyed the silky warmth of her mouth.



She moved her lips over mine and a soft moan escaped her mouth. Taking her back upstairs to the bedroom was sounding good. She started to pull back and I gazed down into her heavy lidded eyes. She was smiling contentedly. “Harlow said it was warm today. I thought I’d come get some sunshine. I’ve been inside too much,” she said.



She needed fresh air. “I think that’s a good idea. Why don’t you go lay down in one of the lounge chairs and I’ll rub your feet.”



Her eyes twinkled with excitement and I almost laughed. She loved having her feet rubbed lately. I knew it was because she was carrying more weight with the baby and she wasn’t used to it. “That sounds wonderful,” she agreed and hurried over to settle in the closest lounge chair.



My phone rang in my pocket and I started to ignore it. Blaire looked up at me as I stood over her. “Aren’t you gonna answer it?” she asked.



I slipped my hand into my pocket and saw Nan’s number flashing on the screen. I should ignore it. This couldn’t be good. I wanted time with Blaire. I wanted to rub her feet and watch the sexy little faces she made while I did it.



“Just answer it, Rush. If you don’t you’ll worry,” she said.



Muttering a curse, I clicked answer and held it to my ear. Before I could say hello Nan’s loud sobs greeted me.



“Don’t come after me. I told you last night I wanted to end it and I do. This is it. Everyone hates me and I’m done. Goodbye, Rush,” she cried into the phone before ending the call.



“Fuck,” I growled, stuffing my phone back into my pocket. I had to go after her. I wanted to believe Blaire was right and Nan wouldn’t hurt herself but I couldn’t just assume this.



“She’s threatening to kill herself again,” I said, looking down at Blaire and the disappointed look on her face. I was letting her down. I hated this. I wish we’d never come but then I also would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to Nan.



“Go on. It’s okay. She needs you so she’s acting out to get your attention,” Blaire replied. Her words made sense. She was probably right.



“We don’t know that she’s not really going to try something. I can’t just believe this is an empty threat.”



“I know that.”



“I’m all she has, Blaire,” I snapped, not meaning to. I wasn’t mad at Blaire. I was mad that she was so damn understanding and she didn’t have to be. I was mad that she kept being put on hold for my family. I hated that she just let me go every time without making me feel guilty. I hated all of this.



“I know,” she replied again. This time I could hear the hurt in her voice and I hated myself for putting it there.



“I’m sorry, I just—”



“You just need to go check on your sister. I understand,” Blaire finished for me. The hard tone in her voice worried me but we didn’t have time to deal with this right now. The longer I stood here the worse this was going to get. I’d make this up to her later today. I was also going to threaten to check Nan into a mental hospital until she stopped threatening to off herself. Then we were going back to Rosemary. I wanted my life back.