Four Letter Word

We’d talked about surfing only a couple of times since I knew Brian’s reason for giving it up.

Guilt. It was still holding tight to pieces of him, causing Brian to deny himself something he loved doing, something he shared with his closest friends and the one thing he’d built his entire career around.

I was working on healing that piece of him and didn’t think I was hitting deep enough yet, but maybe I was close. He never willingly talked about surfing. Never brought it up. Never joked about it.

He was joking about it now. I heard it in his voice.

“Still time to enter, brother,” Jamie encouraged him, keeping the smile he’d given me and directing it toward the table. “You can take second just like the old days. Knock Cole down a seat.”

“I’m standing right here, you know,” Cole threw out.

“Right,” Brian chuckled. “Wouldn’t want to embarrass either one of you. I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself,” Jamie replied, then looked at Cole and nodded. “You can relax. Second’s all yours.”

Cole flipped him off.

Jamie threw his head back with a laugh.

I fought off tears, not wanting to draw attention to this maybe I was hearing and the feelings it was giving me for fear I’d ruin the moment and cause regression, kept myself composed, and decided to continue on with the mission to prove my point.

“Is this a big deal? Are you gonna get a new title or something?” I asked Jamie, assuming he’d win.

He looked to me, his chest puffing out in arrogance.

“World Pro Am Champion. Never won it before.”

Tori turned her head hearing this and questioned with a tone, “Someone actually beat you? I thought you said that doesn’t happen.”

Jamie slid his deep blues to Tori, stared at her long enough without saying anything that she grew irritated, which only took three seconds, after which she pushed to a standing position, stuck her hand on her hip, and jutted it out impatiently while drumming her nails on the counter.

I gave myself a mental pat on the back. My plan was working like a charm.

“Did you hear what I said?” Tori asked when the silent staring continued.

Jamie’s smile broadened.

“I heard you, Legs. Just processing the fact that you actually pay attention when I’m speaking. Didn’t think that was the case, so if you don’t mind, I’m gonna let this soak in a little before I give you an answer.” He breathed deep and released it slowly. “Feels good.”

“Don’t read into it,” she suggested. “Your ego is so loud, the people in the next state can hear you.”

“Yeah, but I don’t give a fuck about them,” he replied bluntly, his face growing serious. “If I enter, I don’t lose. First time entering this one, and you knowing that fact about me is something I give a fuck about.”

“Well, you shouldn’t.”

“I do.”

“I’m telling you not to.”

“Doesn’t work like that.”

“This,” Tori hissed with exasperation, tipped forward, and gestured with a quick hand between her and Jamie, “will never happen, so you giving a fuck is a waste of your time.”

“This”—Jamie mimicked her gesture but kept his voice smooth and even—“has been happening for a while, Legs, and no part of it is a waste of my time. Not even this back and forth shit where you pretend you’re not hard up for me.”

Tori rolled her eyes, then she slid her gaze to Cole, who was standing there watching the drama but not looking as invested in it as Shay and myself, gave him the charming the pants off smile she’d perfected and informed the room, not just Cole, “I hope you take first.”

Cole’s eyebrows shot up.

“Uh, thanks,” he replied, sounding unsure. “Appreciate it.”

“What are you doing?” Jamie asked Tori, his eyes hot as they fell back on her.

I knew what she was doing. I was pretty sure everyone in the room knew what she was doing.

And I was shocked she was going there, mainly because unless I’d dreamed my last conversation with Tori, I was certain she was holding firm to the notion of Jamie not existing to her, yet here she was, admitting he existed by trying to make the man jealous.

This was good.

And I was totally right.

I shelved my excitement and decided on bringing that to her attention another time. She was getting ready to throw back some sass by the way her head was tilting, and I didn’t want to miss it.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Tori returned with the sass I’d predicted.

“Don’t play with me, Legs.”

“I’m not playing.”

“And I don’t lose,” Jamie bit out, bringing back his words from earlier only this time saying them a little louder, a little firmer, and implying an entirely different meaning than before when he was speaking of surfing competitions.

I was picking up on that. Loud and clear.

So was Tori.

She sucked in a sharp breath. Her sass evaporated.

Jamie slowly grinned, flashing straight teeth and billboard-worthy dimples Tori was missing since she was refusing to look his way any longer.

Then everyone’s attention turned to Brian when he stood and spun the screwdriver on his palm.

“Think that’s it. Truck’s unloaded.” He met my eyes. “You get everything out of your car?”

“Yep. Just need to unpack.”