Four Letter Word
A chair slid against the floor, then I felt Jenna’s arm come around my back as she gave me a hug, leaning her head on my shoulder.
“Oh, Brian,” she said softly, sounding on the verge of tears. “That accident was not your fault, sweetie.”
“I know,” I told her, keeping my head down. “Syd got me there.”
She had. I no longer thought about that accident the same way I did before I met her. I knew now it was all by chance. Nothing more.
“I can’t believe you gave that family all of that money,” she said, leaning away and letting her hand slide to the back of my neck and squeeze there. When I turned my head and looked over at her, she added, “That’s unbelievable. I bet they are incredibly grateful for that.”
I dragged in a breath and shook my head.
“Doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I lost Syd, and unless by some miracle those videos disappear on their own, I’m fucked.”
“Let’s brainstorm, brother,” Jamie said, dropping his fork on his empty plate and sitting tall, flattening his hands on the table. “There’s gotta be somethin’. Some other way.”
“Like what?” I asked, my voice picking up edge. “There’s nothing else I can do.”
“Actually,” Jenna started, tapping her finger on her lip as her eyes lost focus on the table. “You didn’t sign anything, ever, when you were working for them?” she asked, looking at me.
“No.”
“Hm.”
“Hm?” I sat forward, curious. “What’s that mean?”
She bit her lip with her eyes lowered, then stood and announced, “I’m gonna make a quick call. Be right back.”
“To who?” I asked.
“A partner at my firm. There might be another way,” she informed. “I need to grab my phone. It’s in the car.” She turned to walk away, stopped herself, then turned back and asked me, “How did you get the Viagra? You weren’t, like, going to a drug dealer, were you?”
Jamie laughed.
When I told Jenna everything, I didn’t leave shit out.
“Got it from my PCP,” I returned. “Said I was feeling depressed after the accident and couldn’t get it up. He prescribed it.”
“Oh.” She nodded, lost in thought. “That makes sense. Okay, good, that’s good. I’ll be back.”
She left the room and said something to the kids, then I heard the front door opening and closing.
“See?”
I turned to Jamie after he spoke.
He was smiling.
“Told you there had to be somethin’,” he said, leaning back and tucking his hands behind his head.
Hope bloomed in my chest. It felt strange.
It felt fucking good.
I let my eyes fall to my phone and thought about Syd.
I’m fixing this, Wild.
“Uncle Brian, Mommy said we can get something to eat if we want,” Olivia said, moving into the kitchen.
Oliver followed behind her. He had his head down and his eyes focused on his DS screen.
“Yeah, sure.” I stood up from the chair and went to the stove, where Syd’s Mexican Chicken thing had cooled down, then I grabbed two plates out of the cabinet and a couple of forks from the drawer.
“Oh, cool! Are those Doritos?” Olivia asked, coming up to stand beside me as I was scooping some out onto a plate.
I smiled.
“Yeah. You like Doritos?” I asked her.
“I love them! They’re the best chip ever, and they go so good with whatever that is, Uncle Brian. I can tell.”
“What about you, Oliver? You like Doritos?” I turned my head to where he was standing at the corner of the island.
“Cool Ranch or Regular?” he asked, eyes still focused on the screen.
“Regular,” Olivia answered.
“Yep,” he replied. “Can I get extra on mine?”
“Me, too!” Olivia jumped up and down, pointing at the dish.
“You bet,” I replied. “Get yourselves something to drink and sit down. I gotta heat this up.”
Olivia moved behind me to get to the fridge while I scooped out more of the Mexican Chicken and dumped it onto the other plate, then I got one heating in the microwave and grabbed some napkins for both of them.
“When will Syd be back?” Olivia asked as I was sliding napkins in front of her and Oliver, who was showing Jamie something on his DS screen.
I straightened and gripped the back of a chair.
“Don’t know, Liv,” I answered honestly, watching her mouth pull down as she sank on her knees in her seat.
“Is she sad at you? Mommy gets sad sometimes and she says it’s because of a boy.”
My teeth clenched.
That fucking dickhead. I should fly out to Denver when my hand heals up and knock his fucking teeth out.
Forcing my jaw to relax, I gave her my reply.
“Yeah, Liv, she is. I made her sad.”
Olivia lifted her one shoulder and spoke casually when she said, “Then you should fix it.”
Just like that. As if it were that simple.
“Trying.” I nodded, giving her a small smile in hopes that would reassure her.
She smiled back bigger, as if she knew everything was gonna work out.
The microwave beeped.
I switched out the plates and heated the second one, carrying both over to the table at the same time so they could start eating together, stood across from them gripping the back of a chair, and glared over my shoulder in the direction of the living room.