Four Letter Word

* * *

My entire body was still trembling with energy when we finally got home after tracking down our Uber idiot.

Shay was dropped off first, then Kali. Tori announced she wanted to take a shower the minute we walked in the door to strip the gunk out of her hair, so she left me in the kitchen, where I went about making my mug of hot chocolate while reading the missed texts from Brian, which were all versions of him asking if I had called Uber yet or if I was still drinking. Seriously, his concern for my whereabouts couldn’t have been any cuter. Then carefully carrying that mug up the stairs while my ear was pressed to the phone, listening to it ring.

I couldn’t wait to tell Brian about my night.

“What’s up, babe?” he greeted me, all smooth and warm sounding.

I wanted to slide inside his voice and live there. He made my skin tingle.

“Trouble, oh, my God, you are not going to believe what happened tonight! I was Wild to, like, the thousandth degree!”

I kicked the door closed and carried my mug over to the bed, sat on the edge and toed off my heels, then scooted back and took a sip of my drink.

“Yeah? What did you do? Steal a car?”

“No. I beat the crap out of one!”

He was soundless while I chewed up a marshmallow.

Obviously shocked and wanting to hear more information, I obliged his silent request and elaborated, bulldozing through my recount of the evening and not stopping to pause for questions, only for a sip of my beverage when needed because my mouth was dry.

Brian quietly listened. I was sure he was silent because he was anxious for more, this was such a good story, so I continued on, not wanting to make him wait.

“Then, and oh my God, this is the craziest thing ever, Brian, these two guys showed up to stop us and pulled us away from the car. The one guy who is a total loser because he always hits on Tori and calls her Legs, he hears why Tori is attacking this car and pulls out a knife and slashes the tires! It was so badass! Then he tells us to scram so we did. I nearly fell into a bush ’cause of my heels but I didn’t care. It was the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me!”

More silence. A lot of it, which was odd now that I was done recounting the events and I was sure he’d have questions or comments.

I worried we got disconnected.

“Hello? Brian?” I called into the phone.

“What kind of car was it?” he finally asked, his voice a lot quieter than it normally was when we talked.

“Uh …oh, a red Corvette. Apparently it costs a mint.”

“A red Corvette,” he repeated.

“Mm-hm. Yep.”

“You were trying to bust out the windows of a red Corvette and two guys stopped you, one slashed the tires, and you were all in eighties gear.”

“Yes,” I stressed, confused as to why he was recounting the events for me when I lived them. “God, it was such a rush!”

“Unfuckingbelievable,” he mumbled.

“Right? I’ve never done anything like that before in my life.” I laughed. “We totally could’ve gotten arrested. Jamie definitely could’ve gotten arrested. I hope he wasn’t caught.”

I sat my mug on the nightstand and fell back on a pillow, legs reaching. I rubbed my heels against the comforter.

“Was I wild, Brian?” I asked when his silence was killing me.

“What?”

“Was I wild? If you’d seen me tonight, would you have thought I was wild?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

I attempted to twirl a lock of my hair but the hairspray prevented it. I pulled at the bottom of my tutu instead, twisting my fingers in the tulle.

“There was this other guy there and I saw him watching us, and I wondered if he saw me and thought I was wild going after that car like I did.”

Brian was quiet for moment, then answered, “I’m sure he did.”

I smiled at that.

“I missed you tonight,” I told him, feeling a little bold from the alcohol and the rush of adrenaline still scratching in my blood. “Thought about you the whole time I was with my girls.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep. You think about me the whole time you were with your boys?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you did, but I don’t know if you thought about me the way I thought about you.”

“And how’s that?” he asked, and I couldn’t tell if he was smiling or serious. His voice wasn’t giving anything away. There were no familiar tones to it. Nothing I’d normally take comfort in knowing that voice and loving that I knew it.

It was different but I didn’t care. I wasn’t being cautious. I didn’t feel the need to be.

This was Brian. I knew him.

I knew him.

“I thought about what your bottom lip might taste like,” I confessed, pulse racing and stomach clenched.

He inhaled in my ear. It was sharp like the cracking of a whip.

“Yeah?” he asked, but I heard him beg.

Yeah. Keep going.

“And I thought about what your skin would feel like under my hands and against my thighs. Um, you know …if you were between them.”

He didn’t say anything. He was breathing, just breathing, slow and heavy in my ear. It was simple, an essential action he had to do to stay alive. It had absolutely nothing to do with me or this conversation.

Still, it was the hottest noise I’d ever heard in my life.

I became bolder. Something was happening to me. Attacking Wes’s car was a rush, but this felt like someone had cut me open and filled me with a thousand heartbeats. My bones vibrated excitement. I was breathless. It was like I was being chased.