Four Letter Word
When he reached me, he kept hold of the pen and held out the book for me to take.
I took it and my eyes began scanning the page he indicated with a tap of his finger.
Most of the answers appeared to be filled in and there was nothing written along the margins. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be looking at or what I was expecting.
Perhaps “I LOVE SYDNEY” in bold capital letters?
Or “Sydney and Brian forever”?
Yes. That’s what I was expecting.
I liked stuff spelled out for me, remember?
“Um. Sorry, where am I …”
“Sixteen across,” Brian stated.
Top-right corner. The word “WILD” was written in bold capital letters.
It was the only answer written that way.
I appreciated the tribute to his nickname for me, but I was still expecting something different.
“Um …”
“The clue, babe. Read it.”
I found the clue for 16-Across.
And I read it.
Zero, on a court.
“Love.” The answer was “love.” I knew this one. I played tennis in high school.
But Brian hadn’t put “love.” He’d put “WILD.”
“WILD” was his four letter word for “love.”
I slowly lifted my eyes.
“Filled that in two weeks ago,” Brian confessed, catching the tear that was falling down my cheek with his thumb. “Only puzzle in that book I can’t finish ’cause I wrote my answer and it ain’t the one they’re looking for, but it’s mine.”
I blinked up at him, trying to see through the emotions flooding my eyes.
“It is?” I whispered, pulling the book against my chest and holding it there.
He nodded, looking down at the book then back up at me.
“Never felt anything like this. Told you I didn’t care how crazy this was. Still don’t. I love you.”
“Brian,” I whispered.
He took my face between his hands.
“I love you, Syd,” he repeated, eyes serious. “Fuck it, all right? Fuck our crazy. I want it.”
A laugh bubbled in my throat.
“I love you, too,” I said. “You’re the best mistake I’ve ever made.”
Lazy smile and sweet eyes soft, Brian ran his thumb over my cheek and breathed easy.
“Feels good saying it.”
He had no idea.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Really good. I’ve been whispering it in my head for weeks.”
Brian smiled bigger and caught another tear with his thumb.
“How many you want?”
I knew he was talking about kids. I tilted my head as Olivia giggled in the background and thought for all of two seconds.
“Two. A boy and a girl.” I pressed closer to ask, “You?”
“Whatever you want, babe.”
Whatever I want.
It didn’t matter to him either way. Brian was going to give it to me.
I had the best boy in the world.
He bent down, pressed his full lips against mine, and kissed me breathless.
It was not G-rated. There was a lot of tongue and gripping hands involved, mainly his since I wouldn’t let go of the book.
I had plans on getting it framed.
“Is the s’mores pizza ready yet?” Olivia called out impatiently from the living room. “What’s taking so long?”
“Gross,” Oliver muttered. “Don’t look. They’re doing it again.”
Olivia gasped.
“I wanna see,” she whispered excitedly.
I laughed inside our kiss.
Brian broke away laughing, too, then wrapped his arms around me and held tight, and even though I wasn’t holding him back, it felt like I was holding him tighter.
Turning my head and leaning, I peered around him to see the kids.
They were standing now. Olivia was staring at us with her fingers covering her mouth, looking so happy she could burst.
Oliver was shielding his eyes from the scene in front of him.
“It’s ready,” I proclaimed from the cloud I was floating around on. “We were just waiting for it to cool.”
Both kids came running into the room.
They told me about a hundred times how good that s’mores pizza was.
I liked hearing that, and I promised another pizza and movie night soon.
I also made good on my promise to Brian.
An hour later, after Jenna had picked up the kids, we were back at it on that couch, only this time I stayed on my knees.
I sucked him off like I wanted but I stopped when Brian got the impulse to take me from behind. I didn’t protest.
When you love someone, you compromise.
And boy, did I love him.
Chapter Fifteen
BRIAN
I was circling another ad in the classifieds on Tuesday when Jamie stepped inside Wax with a black duffle slung over his shoulder.
I looked at the time on the computer screen. It was just after eleven.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, watching him walk toward me. “Thought you had lessons this morning?”
He lifted the bag off his shoulder and heaved it up onto the counter.
“Had to move them to tomorrow. You wanted the money, right?”
Jamie unzipped the duffle and pulled on the flaps, showing me the contents in the bag; bundles of hundred-dollar bills, all wrapped and labeled.
“Holy shit,” I muttered, leaning over to see.
There was a lot of fucking money in that duffle.