Fourth a Lie

“It’s already done.” I gave her a grief-stricken smile. “At least you’ll be safe. I’m doing the right thing by letting you go. You’ll see. The second you’re back in a city with people and freedom, you’ll realise my enslavement of you warped your sense of—”

“My sense of love?” She bared her teeth. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not like your other goddesses.”

“Exactly. You’re not. That’s why you’re fucking leaving.”

The captain gave me a thumbs-up, hinting he had the envelope to give her, the flight path to fly her, the ending to sever us.

My knees threatened to buckle as I shoved Eleanor deeper into the cabin and attempted to step back. “I’ll look after Skittles for you, you have my word.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“It’s all I can offer.”

“Bullshit.” She flung herself from the helicopter, her hair whipping in the wind generated by the rotor blades.

Tripping backward, I grunted and caught her weight, mindful that slicing blades whisked above our heads. “Stop making this harder than it already is, Jinx.” I increased my volume over the din. “For fuck’s sake, please.”

Her body flush to mine made me achingly hard.

Her lips so close to mine made my mind swim with possession.

I’d reached the end of my control. I wanted the freedom to love her and the brutality to decapitate my brother. Two warring desires that should never live side by side.

“Cal!” I barked. “Get me some rope.”

“No!” She shook her head, her arms twining around my shoulders. “Unless the rope is to tie us together so you can’t do something moronic—”

“Cal.” I glowered at him. “Go. Get something to restrain her. We don’t have fucking time for this.”

“Sir.” Storming away, he dashed up the jetty.

His sarcastic quip sent annoyance down my back. I didn’t understand his attitude. He knew better out of anyone why I had no option.

Scooping Eleanor tighter into my arms, I marched up the helicopter steps and out of the downdraft from the blades.

The noise shredded any symbolism that this could be a romantic pledge. I was glad of the clamour. Thankful for the impatience of the pilots and the rising urgency of getting Jinx off my shores.

If I didn’t have such hostile irritability, I’d probably carry her back to Nirvana and turn my back on Drake and on my creatures. I’d once again be so fucking selfish to put my pain first and keep her.

I can’t fucking keep her.

Eleanor fought me as I wrangled her into the seat. “Why must everything be so black and white with you?”

Trapping her wrists, I struggled with the harness, looping it over her shoulders and draping it down her belly. “Because you either survive or you die. It can’t get any more black and white than that.”

Hot puffs of anger hit my throat as she breathed hard, glowering at me as I leaned closer and tried to do up the buckle one-handed.

Her rage was a physical thing, squeezing out every remaining pain in my chest. She ripped her wrists from my hold, her hands landing on my chest as if to push me away.

But then...she stopped.

Our eyes locked.

She annihilated me as she licked her lips and stood up to me, just as she had so often in our short connection. “Temporary.”

I froze, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

She shook her head, as if trying to form thoughts after such a blurted comment. “I’ll go...if you agree that it’s temporary.”

My chest tingled where her fingertips pressed into me. “I can’t agree to that. My brother isn’t the only problem.”

Her eyes flashed silver. “You’re doubting yourself because of what happened today, but I need you to listen to me. You. Will. Not. Hurt. Me.”

I let out a black laugh. “You don’t know enough about me to be sure.”

“I know enough to fight for permanent when my whole life has been temporary until I met you. You are permanent, Sully—regardless of your pig-headedness and uncouth ways—and I’m not going to run away with my tail between my legs just because you say so. But...if you agree that this separation is temporary, I promise I’ll go without a fuss. I’ll sit here and fly away even though every instinct is telling me to stay...if you promise me that I can come back.”

Cal jogged down the jetty, carrying a coil of rope in his hand.

Temporary.

Could that work?

Could I possibly have the freedom to be the monster I needed to be, the murderer without a shred of compassion, and somehow keep her once he was dead?

Cal skidded to a stop, holding out the rope.

Eleanor’s hand landed on my cheek, guiding my eyes back to hers.

She smiled softly. “Do you trust me?”

No.

Yes.

“Fucking hell, you’re killing me.” I ran a hand over my face, catching her palm pressed against my cheek. I couldn’t look away from her perfect smoky eyes. “I thought I knew who you were. I thought I had an answer to my question...but...who the fuck are you, Eleanor Grace?”

Her hand twitched beneath mine. “I’m your future...regardless how much you’re trying to deny it.”

My eyes closed. My heart raced.

I wanted what she offered so fucking much.

But...men like me didn’t get the girl.

Men like me didn’t change and suddenly become redeemable. The moment she returned to a place where she’d have access to internet and information...everything she felt about me would go up in dirty smoke.

All it would take was one search on my name.

One article of who I truly was and her commitment to me would be over.

With that knowledge came a strange kind of peace, a solidifying dread.

I flinched against the slam of inevitability.

Fuck, I’m an idiot.

What did I think? That I’d keep her away from her family, friends, and facts for the remainder of her life? That I’d continue trading in goddesses and elixir, and she would stand by my side and plug guests into Euphoria?

That she’d still love me when she knew what I was?

It’d been a pipe dream.

A goddamn stupid fantasy.

And Drake had just woken me before it was too late.

I didn’t get to keep her.

There was no happily ever after for me.

I clutched her fingers, making her wince.

“What happened? What did you just decide?” Her gaze searched mine, prying and diving, yanking out my secrets and sins one by one.

The only problem was they’d all been buried by the truth. I didn’t even have to put a mask on to lie anymore.

“Okay, Eleanor...temporary.”

I expected her to smile, to hug me, to kiss me with gratefulness. Instead, she peered at me suspiciously. “You’re saying I can come back?”

“I am.”

“When?”

“In a few days. A week? Give me a week...and then, come back.” I shrugged. “This is my home. You’ll know where I am. I’ll be here...if you want me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I smiled away my sadness. “It means I’ll still be here, trading in women, selling their pleasure, being the man who bought you from traffickers.”