Fourth a Lie

Her eyes narrowed. “Did he admit he felt totally out of it? Does he finally understand how dangerously strong it is?”

“He definitely endured the effects.” I studied her, sensing something way more serious than she let on. “How come? Everything okay?”

Jealousy shook her head as Skittles continued her forage across the table, stealing a piece of wilted spinach. “I’ve lost count how many times I’ve taken it. For the longest time, I bounced back with no problem. Sure, I’d feel like shit the next morning, but my system always figured out how to reset itself.” She sighed. “But recently...I can’t fully shed its control. My resting heart rate is stupidly high. I regularly have palpitation attacks that can last over an hour. My limbs constantly buzz as if I have adrenaline running in my blood. I just think it’s playing havoc with my inner chemicals.”

I clasped my hands on the table. “Have you spoken to Sully about this?”

“Not directly to him no. I have had a check-up with Dr Campbell, though.”

“And?”

“And...he’s worried. He’s never liked elixir. Always said it was too strong and that it will end up killing one of us these days.” She smiled sadly as Skittles hopped onto her fork, pecking at a piece of discarded cantaloupe. “Ah well, I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s just stress.”

“Stress? Are you having second thoughts about staying? Do you want to leave, after all?”

She shook her head. “Oh, God, no. I never want to live anywhere else. My ultimate dream would be to run this place. Maybe find someone who doesn’t just want me for my body, and make Sully hire goddesses who have free will, instead of buying and trapping them. I’m glad he released Jupiter, Nep, and Calico. What they did to you is unforgivable, but also understandable when pushed to the brink of their tolerances. They’re free now...but we aren’t. Neither are the others who are still serving...and the ones he’ll buy in the future.”

I wanted to agree with her. To nod and forge ahead with sisterhood power—to revolutionise Sully’s empire. However...my loyalties were also to Sully. Yes, he did bad things because he used the same rules against humans that we had for animals. And yes, he seemed to have no qualms about feeding us elixir and throwing us at the mercy of men for money. But...beneath those flaws, he cared enough that he deserved my fidelity. “I’m sure things will evolve for the better.”

Unless Serigala is blown up.

If it had...then things might evolve for the worst.

“You’re right.” Jealousy looked up just as Skittles flew to my shoulder, squawking and hopping up and down. Pika let out a relieved trill, interspersed with excited squeaks, and shot like a green arrow down the night-shrouded beach.

Our eyes locked.

Hope exploded.

He’s back!

Chapter Three

OF COURSE, SHE WAS there, waiting for me with imploring eyes, eager arms, and tangible fucking love.

Of course, she ran down the beach with my two parrots flying beside her, and leaped fearlessly into my arms.

Of course, she hugged a fucking monster who only had murder on his mind. A man covered in blood and brain, decorated with fur and charred flesh. A man who reeked of death and wore the cloak of the Grim Reaper himself, ready to repay the dismembered body parts to his brother.

But...

Her touch.

Her scent.

Her warmth.

It broke me.

Motherfucking broke me because I’d been so steadfast in my conviction. So black and white with my choice to send her away...for good.

She was too breakable in my current condition.

She was too much for me to survive.

But...

How?

How the fuck was I supposed to say goodbye?

She’ll die if she stays.

By your hand or his.

I flinched at the agonising reminder. I jerked at my repeating nightmare.

“Everything you love dies, Sinclair. Everything you treasure is gone. That’s your true curse. The one you can never run from.”

Fuck, it made me angry.

Angrier than all my animals being blown to smithereens.

It made me rage worse than ever before because love was supposed to be the miracle of life. The one thing everyone chased relentlessly. The hardwired, unavoidable quest for a mate.

I’d found mine.

I knew the value of what I held.

I craved her kiss like a worthless addict.

I want to keep her.

But...

Her love made me weak.

My love made me powerless.

She was the catalyst of my ruin.

And that could never happen.

“Sully...please, hug me back.” Her face pressed into my t-shirt that’d soaked up the lives of so many carnivores, herbivores, and innocence. She willingly shared the pyre my body had become, trying to offer me solace.

Her love threatened to create another form of weakness. The urge to buckle in the sand and allow her to soothe away the decay in my nose and the carnage in my mind.

I wanted to strip her, fill her, love her until I’d driven out the memories.

But that was selfish.

Once again proving me unworthy because when the time came for me to stand up for my creatures, I turned greedy just like any man.

“Let go of me, Jinx.” My voice betrayed me. Curt and full of glass, my heartbreak crystal shards by my feet.

She shook her head, her gorgeous chocolate hair sticking to dried sinew and slaughter. “Don’t do this, Sully. Please, don’t.”

How did she know?

How had she figured me out so quickly, accepted me so unconditionally, prepared to battle with me so fiercely?

I stiffened.

My mask threatened to slip. A mask that’d been firmly positioned to hide my trauma of Serigala, my hate of mankind, and my love for a goddess who’d broken me.

My arms twitched to claim her.

My tongue teased with the vow that whatever happened, I wouldn’t end what we’d found.

I would keep her.

Forever.

Because I was desperate for the peace she could offer me.

But my peace would come at a price.

And I’d just spent my day shovelling up the remains of those who believed my affection came without strings.

I clenched my teeth; my gruesome, filthy hands rose and latched around her shoulders.

I pushed her away from me.

I stared into her graceful grey gaze, and I prepared to destroy the final thing that kept me human.

“This is goodbye, Eleanor—”

Chapter Four

I KISSED HIM.

I fought against his hold, tripped into his body, and smashed my lips to his.

If he couldn’t say it...it wouldn’t come true.

If I prevented him from saying goodbye...he couldn’t end it.

My heart had punctured with a million tiny holes for every second I’d run to him, found him, and threw myself into his un-returned embrace. It was no longer whole but bleeding and weeping, filling the divots in the sand by our feet with bright scarlet grief.

Time was my enemy.

Fate was my prosecutor.

And Sully...he wielded the axe to kill all my dreams, desires, and dreadful premonitions.

I’d known he’d do this.

I’d sat on his island, alone with my knowledge, and wished, begged it wasn’t true.

But the second I’d seen him...God.