“I love you because you make me laugh and you make me want to be a better man.”

I already have another ball in my hand and throw it into the air before she even finishes the last cup of milk. She stares at me wide-eyed as the ball plops into the next cup in line and she hesitates before picking it up. I wait until the cup is by her mouth before I continue.

“I love you because every day you amaze me.”

A lone tear escapes from her eye as I throw another ball right into a cup. I’ve never played this well in my life. I guess it's only fitting since this is the only game where I'm playing for my life.

She picks that cup up and sniffles before taking a drink.

“I love you because you are the best mother in the entire world.”

One more to go. And this was the one that counts. I aim and watch the ball sail in an arc toward the last cup on her side of the counter. I hold my breath until it drops right where it needs to go. I walk around the counter until I'm next to her and wait for her to finish the last cup of milk.

A surprised gasp sounds from her when she tips the cup back and something bumps against her lip. As she pulls the cup away from her mouth and looks into the bottom of it, I get down on one knee.

With shaking hands, she reaches her fingers into the cup and pulls out the diamond ring I have been carrying in my pocket for months. She turns to look at me and gasps again when she sees where I am.

“The first time we did this, every time one of us sunk a shot we would tell each other a fact about ourselves. I remember you told me your favorite color was pink and that you watched the movie ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’ once a year because it made you nostalgic for the time when Sarah Jessica Parker didn’t look like a troll.”

Claire laughs through the tears that are now falling freely.

“This time, I needed you to know every fact about why I love you. I wanted to marry you the first time I saw you again. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg you to never leave me. And I should have done it. I should never have waited this long. There is no one else in this world I could imagine spending my life with. I want to teach inappropriate things to our children with you forever. Claire Donna Morgan, will you please, please marry me and love me for the rest of your life?”

She leans over and throws her arms around me, holding me tight as she sobs out the one word I have waited forever to hear from her.

“Yes!”

I pull out of her arms long enough to take the ring from her hand and slip it on her finger. Our happy moment is interrupted seconds later by Gavin running into the kitchen.

“Mom, guess what? I swallowed a penny!” he announces.

Claire and I pull away from each other and turn to see all of our friends and Claire’s father standing in the doorway wearing the shirts Drew had picked out that say, “I played beer pong and all I got was this lousy t-shirt, knocked up, and a fiancé”.

“Sorry, Carter, I couldn’t resist the shirts. And really, they’re still appropriate considering how you proposed,” Liz says with a smile.

“Wait, I’m sorry. But did Gavin just say he swallowed a penny?” Claire asks, wiping the tears off of her cheeks.

“Oh, yeah. Well, we think he swallowed a penny. We’re not quite sure,” Drew explains. “He wanted some candy so Liz dumped out her purse on the floor because she knew she had a bunch of Tic Tacs at the bottom. He started scooping things up and shoving them in his mouth before we saw what he was doing. According to him, he swallowed a penny. But kids are liars.”

Gavin stomps his foot. “YOU’RE A LIAR YOU BIG FAT TURKEY!”

“I am not fat. I’m muscular. Get your facts straight,” Drew argues.

“Okay, can someone please tell me if my kid really swallowed a penny?” Claire asks loudly, putting a halt to the arguing.

“Well, I Googled ‘kids swallowing pennies’ and you’d be surprised how many hits I got,” Liz says. “Anyway, as long as the penny was made before 1982, he’ll be fine.”

Claire and I stare at her for a few minutes before Claire explodes.

“What the f**k?!”

“Awwwwww, Mom,” Gavin scolds as he pointed at her.

“I’m sorry, what the f-u-c-k does t-h-a-t mean and w-h-a-t do we do n-o-w?”

She has officially turned into one of the Stepford mothers, spelling words she doesn’t even need to spell because she is so freaked out. She is not going to be happy about this.

“It’s fine, Claire. I used my metal detector on him and the penny wasn’t there,” George stated.

“You’re kidding me, right? You know there’s this fancy thing called a hospital you can go to, don’t you?” she asks.

“I walked uphill both ways in a snow storm with no shoes just to get to school when I was his age, and I ate metal shavings for fun. A little copper isn’t going to hurt him,” George argues.

“Unless the penny was made after 1982 because then it’s made with enough zinc to melt his esophagus,” Drew said matter-of-factly. “I’m pretty sure that would have happened by now though, so he’s probably good.”

Claire bends down next to Gavin and pulls him into her arms.

“Sweetie, how do you feel? Is your tummy okay?” she asks him.

“My tummy is good. Papa said I need to drop a deuce and check it for money. I can poop money!” he says excitedly.

“I wish I could poop money,” Drew complains.