I motion for them to come to my room, not wanting to discuss it in the hall. My hands shake as I push open my door. The girls follow me inside, and by the time I close the door and turn to them, I’m already crying.

“She’s gone,” I say miserably. Brynn gasps, gripping Marcella’s arm.

“What do you mean?” Sydney asks. She looks at the other girls. “What does that mean?”

“Lennon Rose is gone,” I say, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Dr. Groger said she left this morning. Her father picked her up.”

Sydney drops down on my bed, looking like she’s just been punched in the stomach. Her voice is a whisper when she lifts her watery eyes to mine.

“Why didn’t she say goodbye?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” I say. “She would have. She . . .” I want to come up with an explanation, but I don’t have one.

I tell them everything that Dr. Groger said, but it doesn’t make sense. Lennon Rose’s parents were here last night. They didn’t mention money. They were worried the school was going to keep her. So did they decide to take Lennon Rose home instead?

Marcella begins to pace the room, chewing on her thumbnail while Brynn watches me with a helpless expression. Annalise walks to my window and places her palm flat against the glass as she stares out at the property. As if Lennon Rose is standing in the grass, waving goodbye.

“But she didn’t even take her shoes,” Annalise murmurs, not looking at us.

“The doctor said that Anton will make an announcement,” I tell them. “Maybe he has an explanation.”

Sydney lies across my bed, her folded arm over her face. After a few moments of quiet, she sniffles. The air in the room grows heavy with melancholy.

“I’m in a bad mood,” Brynn announces. She swipes her finger under her eyes to catch the tears.

“Yeah, me too,” I reply.

We’re not allowed “bad moods,” as Professor Allister calls them. If we’re upset, if we’re in pain, if we’re lonely. “Bad moods are a symptom of being ungrateful,” he says.

So we don’t show our bad moods, at least not in front of the men. We can only show each other.

“After graduation,” I start, my voice hopeful, “we’ll find her.” Annalise turns to me, expecting me to go on, to make them all feel better. We rarely talk about what our lives will be like after graduation. But rather than continue, I start crying harder, the reality setting in.

“How are we supposed to go that long without seeing Lennon Rose?” I ask, choking up.

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out,” Sydney says sorrowfully from behind her arm.

Brynn lies down next to her on the bed, and Sydney puts her arms around her. We all join them, staying close. Murmuring that we love each other.

12

I take the hottest shower I’ve ever known, washing away my tears. The misery is deep and painful. An indescribable loneliness.

I grow red and raw from the heat of the water, but I stay there until it begins to run cold. I turn off the faucet and stand naked. My breathing is staggered and unsteady, my entire body hitching forward. My chest aching.

After a few more moments, I sniffle hard, wiping my face with the backs of my hands. I step out of the shower and pull on my uniform. I brush out my tangles of wet hair and then slick it back into a tight bun, ignoring my specifications. I put on only the required makeup so I don’t get reprimanded for looking plain. I’m supposed to “take pride in my appearance at all times.”

When the Guardian tells us all to gather in the dining hall for an announcement, we already know what it’s about, and the finalization of it feels even more devastating.

I leave my room and head downstairs, the first to arrive. Other girls begin entering the dining hall, and the ones who don’t know about Lennon Rose yet are chatting, smiling. Unaware of how we’re changed.

Brynn nods to me when she comes to the table, but we don’t say anything. I’m surprised when Valentine sits with us, saying a pleasant hello to Marcella when she arrives. Valentine smiles, seeming oblivious to what’s happened to Lennon Rose. I thought she’d said something to upset her, but the doctor told me Lennon Rose’s dismissal was over money. Maybe Valentine had just been trying to comfort her.

Sydney and Annalise are the last to arrive. Sydney’s eyes are puffy from crying. As they sit at the table, drawing stares from the other girls, there’s an open space left on the bench for Lennon Rose.

But Lennon Rose won’t be joining us today. She’s somewhere else, without shoes. Without her girls.

Valentine tilts her head, examining our expressions. “What’s wrong?” she asks. We’re silent for a moment, but I can’t ignore her question.

“Lennon Rose has left campus,” I tell her quietly. “She’s . . .” My voice hitches. “She’s not coming back.”

Brynn lowers her head, sniffling. And the other girls look positively sick over it. But Valentine stares back at me with no noticeable response. And then she says, “Huh.”

It’s stunning, her nonreaction. I’m about to say something about it when I hear the doors to the dining hall open.

“Can I have your attention, please?” Anton calls loudly as he enters the room. He’s wearing a fuzzy blue sweater over his polo, his glasses gone. Several girls smile at his presence, immediately comforted. But I watch with impatience, waiting for an explanation. Waiting for words that can alleviate my pain.

“This is going to be very difficult,” Anton begins, stopping at the front of the room. He slips his hands into the pockets of his slacks, appearing both caring and vulnerable as he surveys our faces. He pauses, pressing his lips together when he notices me. He returns his focus to the room.

“One of our girls has left us,” he announces sympathetically. “It is with a heavy heart that I have to tell you that Lennon Rose is no longer with Innovations Academy. Her father came for her early this morning, as their family is moving out of state, and Lennon Rose will attend a wonderful school out east. She sends her love. As soon as she’s settled, I’ll reach out to her and see if we can start a correspondence. Not before. Until then, all we know is that Lennon Rose would want you to be happy,” he adds with a smile.

But his words ring hollow to me. I can tell by the way Sydney squeezes my hand that she’s not buying them either. Yes, Lennon Rose would want us to be happy. But this morning, she must have been scared, terrified. She wouldn’t have left so easily. She would have begged to see us one last time.

“Now if any of you have questions,” Anton continues, “or want to come speak to me privately about this development, let me know and I’ll work you into the schedule. Otherwise, please keep your upward momentum by being excellent girls in and out of the classroom. You make your parents, Mr. Petrov, and all of us here at Innovations Academy very proud.”

He nods his goodbye, and without even pausing, he heads straight for the door and walks out. So much for taking questions.

The room buzzes as the other girls wonder aloud what made Lennon Rose leave. A few wonder if she was in trouble, but that thought is immediately dismissed because it’s Lennon Rose they’re talking about. Eventually, I hear someone mention money—or more specifically, the lack of it—and the excuse spreads quickly throughout the room.