Goddess of Spring

The chime over the front door of Pani Del Goddess jingled merrily, letting in another stream of customers as wel as a rush of cold air.



"Burr," Anton shivered dramatical y. "Oh, poo! Winter is real y coming. It's just so hard on my skin."



"The weatherman is predicting an unusual y snowy season. You'd better stock up on moisturizer and get some sensible shoes," Dolores said, pointing down at Anton's feet.



"What's wrong with these?" Anton pouted, turning his feet this way and that so that the entire bakery could admire his glossy black eel-skin, pointed-toe, mock cowboy boots with their two and a half inch heels. "Lina," he cal ed from across the room. "Do you think I need new shoes?" Lina looked up from the cappuccino machine. She wanted to say that she didn't care about his shoes or the weather, or... but Anton's expectant expression reminded her that she had to pretend. She had to keep pretending, no matter how she real y felt.



"Honey, I think your boots are perfect. But just remember, my insurance doesn't cover fal s outside the bakery."



Laughter fluttered through Pani Del Goddess. The customers grinned and placed their orders. Everyone was happy. Business was booming. In the two weeks Lina had been back, she had been amazed at the changes Persephone had made during her six months. The Goddess of Spring had truly worked magic. Her advertisement campaign had been miraculous. New customers fil ed the shop day and night, most of them clamoring for anything on which they could spread the incredible new ambrosia cream cheese that was offered exclusively through Pani Del Goddess. Persephone's creation had definitely been a hit. And that wasn't al that the Goddess had changed. Instead of going in the direction of catering, as Lina had been thinking they should, Persephone had steered Pani Del Goddess into a whole new realm of business ventures, via the Internet. She packaged a wide variety of their specialty bread, gubana, added a smal tin of ambrosia cream cheese and shipped it al over the United States. For an outrageously high price. Their new Internet service was booming. Persephone had even hired an additional full-time employee who did nothing but service their Net orders.



It amazed Lina. It had taken a goddess from an ancient world to see the potential in something as modern as the Internet. The IRS debt had been repaid threefold. Just as Demeter had promised. Al was wel .



And Lina was so miserable she thought she was going to die.



No, she couldn't think about dying, or death, or spirits, or the Lord of the Dead...



The bel over the door jingled again.



"Hel o, handsome," Anton teased.



"Hey there, Anton. Nice boots." A deeply masculine voice said. Anton giggled happily.



Lina ground her teeth together and readied herself, glad she had the cappuccino machine between her and him. At least he wouldn't try to kiss her hel o.



"Good evening, Lina."



"Hi, Scott." She sighed and looked up at the gorgeous young man. He was tal and muscular. His blond hair was neatly cut and his deep blue eyes gazed down at her with open adoration. He was wearing a perfectly tailored business suit, complete with red power tie. The suit did nothing to camouflage his amazing body. Actual y, the long Italian lines accentuated the young man's incredible physique. Not for the first time, Lina thought he could have been a young Apol o - if the God of Light had come to Earth as an up-and-coming Tulsa attorney.



It wasn't hard to understand why Persephone had been attracted to him. That didn't surprise Lina. What she didn't understand was why he was so obviously smitten with her in return.



"I stil have those front row tickets to Aida. I thought I'd come by and see if you'd changed your mind. I real y don't want to go without you," Scott said.



"Thank you, but no. I real y can't."



"Why, Lina? I don't understand. Just two weeks ago - "



"Not here. Not now!" Lina interrupted him, mortified that the bakery had gone silent and everyone was watching their little scene while they pretended not to be.



"Then where and when, Lina? You've been avoiding me for two weeks. I deserve an explanation." Knowing he was right didn't make her feel any less miserable, nor did it make her decision less certain. Scott was handsome and incredibly sexy. Add to that he even seemed to be an honestly nice guy. But she didn't feel anything for him. It would have been easier if she could care for him. Losing herself in his youthful infatuation had seemed, fleetingly, like a good idea. She'd even tried going out on a date with him - once. When he touched her she felt nothing except the empty ache within her. Scott couldn't make her forget.



"Come on," she said. Rushing out from behind the counter she grabbed his arm and led him to the door. As she stepped out of the bakery she could hear Anton sighing mournfully and saying, "What a waste..."



The evening was chil y, and Lina should have already put up the little cafe tables and chairs that sat on the sidewalk outside the bakery, but as she struggled to find some barrier she could erect between them, she was glad she hadn't. She sat down at one table, and Scott took the chair across from her. Before she could say anything, he slid it around so that they were sitting close together. Seeing her shiver, he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. It was warm, and it smel ed faintly like expensive aftershave and virile young man. He would have taken her hand, but she kept it out of reach in her lap.



"Scott," she began, honestly wishing that the sexy way his muscular chest looked in his dress shirt could make her feel more than an aesthetic appreciation for his wel -toned physique. "I told you before. It's over between us. I wish you would respect that and just let it alone." Scott shook his head. "I can't. There's no reason for it. Just two weeks ago everything was fine. Everything was better than fine. And then one day I wake up and, wham! It's al over. No explanation. After almost six months, you dump me and you won't even tel me how I screwed up."



"That's because you didn't screw up. Merda! I told you before - it's me, not you." He's perfect, Lina added silently. Young and handsome and successful and attentive. He needed to go find a nice young woman and settle down in the suburbs with a big mortgage, 2.5 kids and a dog.



"Tel me again. I don't understand how you can suddenly be so different. What is it?"



"You're too young for me, Scott," Lina said earnestly.



"Would you please stop it with that crap! I'm twenty-five, not fifteen. I'm not too young."



"So let's say it's not that you're too young. Let's say the problem is that I'm too old."



"You are not," he leaned forward and pulled her hand from her lap, holding it in both of his. "I don't care that you're forty-three. You're beautiful and sexy, but it's more than that. Your heart is young. You sparkle, Lina. When we were together, you made me feel like I was a god." Lina smiled sadly. "Not anymore. I'm not like that inside anymore." She stood up and pul ed her hand from his. Then she slipped his jacket from her shoulders and gave it back to him. "I can't give you what you need. I don't have it inside of me anymore. Please, just leave me alone." He shook his head. "I can't. I'm in love with you."



"Okay, here's the truth, Scott. I'm in love with someone else." Scott straightened in his chair and the skin on his face tightened. "Someone else?"



"Yes. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." His handsome young face flushed and Lina watched as he erected a barrier of pride between them. Scott stood up. His jaw was set, but his eyes were sad.



"I hadn't realized there was someone else, but I guess I should have known. You're too amazing to be alone. I apologize for bothering you. Good-bye, Lina."



"Good-bye, Scott," she said to his retreating figure as he walked away from the bakery. Feeling seventy-three instead of forty-three, Lina slowly reentered the bakery. Anton, Dolores, and just about every other face in the store looked up at her expectantly, but when they saw that she was alone, they looked quickly away.



"I think I'l cal it quits early today," Lina said.



"Oh, no problem, boss lady." Anton smiled at her and gave her arm a motherly pat.



"Yeah, we can take care of locking up," Dolores said. "You need some time off. You've been working real y hard."



Anton nodded. "Why don't you sleep in tomorrow, and then go for a nice massage and a facial. You know, from that place you found a few months ago. Remember, you said that they knew how to treat you like a goddess."



"Want me to cal and set up an appointment for you?" Dolores asked.



"No, I'l be fine," Lina said, grabbing her purse and her jacket, "but you're right. I think I need to sleep in tomorrow." She tried to smile at them, but her lips didn't form much more than a grimace.



"Oh, by the way, we're almost out of the ambrosia cream cheese. You better make some more soon. Or... you could let us in on your secret recipe," Dolores said, waggling her eyebrows at her boss.



"Yeah, we've already promised not to sel it to terrorists, or to Hostess, even though it would breathe new life into their dreadful Twinkies." Anton shuddered dramatical y. Lina ral ied her sense of humor. "A girl has to have some secrets of her own." She winked at Anton and slung her purse over her shoulder. "I'l see you tomorrow afternoon, and I'l have a new tub of ambrosia cream cheese with me." She tried to swing jauntily through the door. Her employees watched her go. As soon as she was out of sight, they met behind the counter and put their heads together.



"Something's wrong with her," Dolores said.



"Wel , of course there is, she broke up with that young stud," Anton said.



"It's more than that." Dolores sighed. "She liked Scott, but I never got the feeling that he meant more to her than a good time. Breaking up with him shouldn't make her this sad." Anton thought about it and nodded. "You're right. It is something else. She's not herself - again. Remember how weird she acted last spring?"



"Of course I remember, but she was worried about losing the bakery."



"Wel , she saved Pani Del Goddess, and it did her good. She changed her whole image. She bought different clothes, started rol er skating along the river. I swear she lost ten pounds." Dolors nodded. "She even changed her hair."



" And she started dating young men. Adorable young men," Anton said.



"So, what's the point? That's al old news. What does that have to do with what's going on with her now?" Dolores asked.



Anton shrugged his shoulders. "Could be some kind of delayed stress reaction. Or maybe a tragic split-personality syndrome that is manifesting in her middle-age." Dolores rol ed her eyes at him. "You've got to stop watching so much Discovery Health Channel. How about this: it could be that she worked herself too hard and now she needs a vacation."



"Oh, poo! You always spoil the dramatic effect," Anton said.



"Let's just agree to keep an eye on her and take as much work off her shoulders as we can. Okay?"



"Okay."