Hard to Break
“Oh, when was that?”
His silence stretches long, I wonder if it’s a story he doesn’t want to share. I’m not one to push, but I do hope he tells me. When he opens his mouth and answers, my entire world, which was in so many pieces, starts fusing back together. All with one, single word.
“Now.”
Now.
Now.
He has gone past that point … now.
With me.
Oh God.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Tazen and I part ways at the track, both of us slightly shaken by his words. He basically admitted he’s falling in love with me, and I said nothing. I just sat there, tucked up in his lap, completely speechless. I think he took it wrong, because he told me quickly that he had to go, kissed me and left. I curse myself that I didn’t say something, but I honestly didn’t know what to say.
I feel the same, there’s no doubt about that, but … my life is so complicated. His is exactly where he wants it to be. I’m not sure us being so serious is going to work. He doesn’t know about my life. He hasn’t met my father. Jesus, we haven’t even spent a full night together. Sure, we’ve been together every day now for months, working and taunting, but that’s all there has been. I … want more.
I want to know who Tazen Watts is.
Where is his family?
Is he close to them?
Where did he grow up?
There are so many unanswered questions that need to come before the confession of love. I need to explain that to him, but instead I sat there speechless, making him feel like I didn’t want it. I decide I can’t let him go to sleep tonight, thinking he’s made a mistake with me. I pull out my phone and text him, just as I arrive at home.
Q—What’s your address? It’s important.
I get out of my car and check on Dad before making my next move. He’s watching something on television, his eyes drooping, his bottle of alcohol tipping all over the sofa. Grinding my teeth, I walk in and pick it up. I take it to the kitchen and toss it in the bin, then I clean up the soggy mess on the couch. Dad is out of it now, so I just push him down and cover him with a blanket.
This is getting tiring.
My phone buzzes just as I get out of the shower. I get dressed in a pair of soft leggings and a tank. Then I throw a hoodie on and lift my phone.
T—Something wrong?
Q—No. I need to see you, Taz. Tell me your address.
T—Okay baby.
He sends his address a minute later and I’m relieved he doesn’t sound angry. I check on Dad again before heading out to my car and driving over to Tazen’s place. When I arrive, I stop in the driveway and look to my left and then to my right. He … lives here? My jaw goes slack when I see his car in the drive. Yes, he lives here. In this … mansion.
I stare up at the three-story cream-colored house. It seems to go on forever. It has a triple garage, a double front door and a porch that is amazing. It wraps right around the base, and it’s at least ten feet wide. I suddenly wonder if I should be here. I live in a cheap two-bedroom shack, and he lives in a mansion. I never felt we were opposites until this very moment.
My heart sinks.
But I get out of the car. I walk up the stone path to the front door. I knock softly on the door, trying to swallow down the pain rising in my chest as I take it all in. A moment later, the front door opens and Tazen is standing there, wearing nothing but a pair of sweats. They sit low on his hips, showing his gorgeous body off. I meet his eyes and they’re soft, but weary. He wants to know why I’m here, I can tell.
“Ah, hey,” I say gently.
“Hey, angel.”
I look past him, then say, “You live here?”
He nods, studying the weariness on my face. “Yeah, you don’t like it?”
Like it? I’ve never seen something so incredible in all my life, but I also know it’s not something I’ll ever have, so it makes me feel uncomfortable. He steps back and pushes the door open. I step in and glance around at the first story of the massive home. The floors are a grey tile, shiny and polished. The furniture ranges from leather creams to blacks. All of it immaculate.
The house is utter perfection. And I’ve never felt so out of my league.
“Quinn?”
I jerk and turn to Tazen. “Ah, I…”
He steps forward, kicking the door closed behind him. He reaches out, cupping my cheek in his hand. He studies my face for a long time, then murmurs quietly. “What’s going on in that head, baby?”
I close my eyes, turning my head towards his palm. I nuzzle him and breathe him in, then I look up and meet his eyes. “I’ve never been somewhere so beautiful, Tazen. I’ve never had…” I let my eyes travel around the room then go back to him. “Anything like this in my life.”
“It makes you uneasy.”
It’s not a question. It’s a fact.
I nod.
“Come on, I know how to make this more … comfortable.”
He drops my cheek and takes my hand, leading me towards a dark grey door near the massive kitchen. He opens it and steps in, then he flicks the light on. A massive, and I mean massive, garage comes into view. It has polished floors, top of the line equipment and the lights are so bright it lights up like a showroom floor. I gasp and let go of his hand, stepping in further.
“Tazen,” I breathe, looking around.
He has three cars in there, one of them is the beautiful car Sheyenne destroyed on the track tonight. He brought it back for me. The other two are red and white racing cars, but they aren’t a classic style. They look like Formula One cars. I wonder if they’re private projects, because I haven’t seen them before. “Those two cars, who are they for?”
He leads me over to them and up close they’re even more impressive.
“They got shipped over yesterday from my other garage. We had them built for the F1 racers.”
I thought so. Impressive.
“They’re … so…”
“Fucking incredible.”
I nod, squatting down and getting up close to the powerful machines.
“These were the first I’ve built in their class. It was a good challenge.”
“Do you build at home?” I ask, moving to the impressive engines.
“Yeah, on the side I’ve done a few jobs.”
“Have you ever built one you just want to keep?”
He shrugs and squats down beside me. “Plenty, but I’ve always parted with it in the end. One day I’ll build one I’ll keep.”
I stand and walk over to the car Sheyenne was driving. I stare down at the beauty and hate that she destroyed such a beautiful creation.
“Don’t give her another car, Tazen.”
He’s quiet for a second, and I hope I haven’t offended him. I turn and look at him, to him studying me with a passion in his eyes I have seen in my own before.
“I’ve wanted to meet someone my entire life that looks at my cars the way I do.” He steps closer. “The way you gave it to Sheyenne tonight, the way you stood up for my work … I realized that someone is you, Quinn.”
Oh God.
I open my mouth to speak but he keeps going.
“You have a fire that matches my own and a passion that runs deep. You made me understand that I don’t have to do anything for anyone else, if it isn’t what I want. That’s why after you left tonight, I rung Murray and told them I’d no longer be supplying Sheyenne with cars.”