Hard to Forget

“Delaney, stop it. I have to talk to you and you fucking know it.”

“No, sir, you don’t. We made a mistake. I forgot what I was because of the events of the day. It won’t happen again.”

“Jesus, Delaney, what the fuck is wrong with you? Snap out of it.”

I keep my face blank. “Are you ready for work?”

“Delaney,” he barks. “I didn’t fuck her.”

I flinch and his eyes go to the movement. “I knew you were in there somewhere.”

I look away. He steps closer.

“I didn’t fuck her, kitten. She just stayed the night. She wanted to talk and I felt I owed it to her to listen.”

I don’t need his excuses.

“That’s great. Can we go?”

“Stop,” he growls, stepping even closer and causing me to take a step back. “Stop pretending you’re not affected by everything. You saved my life yesterday, then I had my fingers in your damned pussy, and now you’re acting like ice. Don’t do that.”

“It was a mistake,” I say, meeting his gaze.

“For you maybe.”

“No, Jax, for both of us. I’m your protector, I don’t have time to be your … whatever the hell I was last night.”

“Delaney.”

“No, Jax,” I snap, cutting him off and my face goes hard. “My job is far more important than anything, even you. Now let me do it.”

I step past him, hating how his face has blanked out. I think my words hurt, no scratch that, they did hurt. But I had to do it. I can’t let this go on with Jax, I need to go back to focusing on protecting him and not letting anything else get in the way. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll push the thoughts of how amazing he was into the very back of my mind and leave them there.

I have no time to care about Jaxson Shields.

None.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Jax remains moody the entire day, and it makes my job so much easier. We don’t speak. I just do what I have to do and make sure he gets to and from work without incident. I keep an extra eye out, making sure he’s safe. The day is long, and it drags, but nothing eventful happens until we get back to his apartment to get ready for the evening out.

I’m passing reception behind Jax when the receptionist calls out my name. I stop, confused, and look over to her. She waves at me and I motion for Jax to stop as I rush over and see what she wants. I have no idea why she’d feel the need to call to me, I don’t live here and I’ve never spoken to her. Unless Nak has left a message—though he didn’t try to ring my phone.

“What can I do for you?” I ask.

“This was delivered for you today,” she says, smiling and waving at a big bundle of flowers on the reception desk.

I blink. “Me?”

“Yes, you’re Delaney, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but…”

Who the hell would send me flowers? I didn’t tell Mitch or Jed about what happened. Maybe it’s Nak saying good job? Though he really doesn’t seem like the flowers kind of man. Maybe Kyle is sucking up? I snort, yeah right. He wouldn’t know how to charm a woman if he tried.

“Thanks,” I say when she doesn’t answer me, taking the flowers.

I walk back to Jax, whose eyes flick to the flowers. His jaw hardens and I pretend not to notice as we go up to his apartment. I do check over them as we go, making sure nothing looks suspicious, and I see a little card poking out. I gently run my fingers over it and it’s only paper, so I wait until we get to the apartment before I open it. We get in and I do my usual checks and then close the door, setting the alarm. We’ve got about two hours to get ready for the night out, so I take the flowers to my room and place them on the coffee table. Curious, I pluck the card out and sit on the sofa, just as Jax reaches my door and stares in.

I open the note and flip it over, reading the words. My blood runs cold and my hands start to shake as I read the note.

Do yourself a favor. Back off Shields. If you don’t, the next bullet will be aimed at you.

I flinch and immediately turn, grabbing the flowers and tearing them out of the base. I don’t know what I’m thinking, but I need to make sure nothing is planted in them. Jax enters the room as I’m tearing them out and tossing them on his floor, and he lifts the card. I hear a hiss, and then he’s closing his big hands around mine, tugging me away from the flowers.

“Delaney,” he says. “Stop.”

“There could be something in here,” I say frantically.

“Delaney.”

“I just need to—”

“Kitten!” he barks and I freeze.

Then my knees start shaking. Jax wraps an arm around me and pulls me against him.

“The flowers are fine. It was a smart way of getting a message in without being suspicious.”

“They’re … they…”

“They won’t get near you. It’s a threat, Delaney.”

I lose it then. “It’s not a threat, I saw what they did. God dammit. This is bad, this is so fucking bad. I need to call Nak and—”

Jax spins me and slams my body into his chest. “If you call Nak, he will call you off. Is that what you want?”

“No,” I cry.

“If this bothers you, I’m right there with you. I’ll make the call myself, but you’ve been fighting for a chance at this from the start. Think long and hard about what you want to do, calm down from the shock. They’re ruffling feathers, Delaney. They’re trying to get you to back down. If you go, it’ll be the next guard that gets threats.”

He’s right, I know he is. I’m not the first bodyguard to receive threats. All the others have at some point. I know because I’ve heard the discussions. I can go off the case, if I want to, but that’s not what I want. I need to see Jax through to the end—I just need to take a few breaths. That note … it freaked me out.

“How do you think they knew my name?”

He shrugs. “It wouldn’t be hard to find out.”

I nod and he studies my face. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m okay, I just…”

“It fucking scared you,” he says, his thumbs rubbing over my hips. “I know the feeling.”

I swallow, suddenly feeling a small percentage of how he might have been living these last few months.

“God, Jax, I’m sorry,” I say, stepping back. “I didn’t realize how bad things must be for you.”

He shrugs. “Come on, we’ve got two hours before we go out. Come and sit, process what just happened.”

I nod and he leads me out into the lounge, and we sit on opposite sofas, staring at each other.

“Tell me how you grew up,” he asks.

I’m grateful for him, right now. He’s taking my mind off it, and I appreciate that.

“I grew up here. I lost my parents when I was little, around five, and my aunty and uncle adopted me.”

His eyes flash. “You lost your parents?”

“Car accident.”

Jax had lost his parents too. I remember reading it in his file, though it didn’t say how.

“I know how much that hurts. Good that you had someone you trusted to take you in.”