Hard to Forget
I meet his eyes and say in a monotone, “Yes.”
“They’re having sex! It’s unacceptable!”
“Did you see them having intercourse?” Nak directs at Kyle.
“No, but…”
“Then how are you certain they’re having relations?”
Kyle bristles. “Nobody grinds like that on a first kiss.”
“Kyle, you need to step back. It’s up to me to deal with this. You’ve said your part, reported what you’ve seen, and now I’m going to ask Delaney.”
He turns expectant eyes to me.
I look down at my hands, fighting back the tears. “I … I care about him, Nak.”
“That’s not what I want the answer to, and you know it.”
His voice isn’t hard, but it’s also not soft.
“I’ve been having relations with him, because … because I care about him. It wasn’t just a bit of fun.”
“This is outrageous!” Kyle bellows.
Nak throws a hand up. “You shut your mouth, Kyle, before I shut it for you. This is my issue to deal with.”
I look down, waiting for Nak to yell and scream, but he simply says, “That’s what Jax said, too.”
“You’ve spoken to Jax?” I ask.
Nak nods.
“She should be fired,” Kyle mutters. “This is against the rules, and it’s not the first time she’s done something wrong.”
I’ve had enough. I spin on Kyle and yell, “And you’re the perfect citizen, Kyle. You just blackmailed me on the elevator, and told me you wouldn’t tell Nak if I dated you and only you, so how about you shut the fuck up.”
“Say what?” Nak growls.
Kyle’s face turns red and he looks to Nak. “It didn’t go exactly…”
“Did you or did you not say it, Kyle?”
Kyle nods sharply.
“What the fuck is happening here?” Nak growls. “You two are bodyguards, not children. Delaney.” He turns to me. “You know what you did was against the rules, and Kyle.” He looks at Kyle. “Blackmail? Really?”
We both look down.
“I think both of you have just lost your way, because I know that both of you are amazing bodyguards deep down. There’s only one option for me here.”
You’re fired.
You’re fired.
I prepare myself for it.
“You’re both suspended for a month.”
I look up sharply. Did he just say suspended? That’s it? Not fired?
“What!” Kyle yells, standing up.
“Sit down!” Nak barks at him. “And be grateful I didn’t fire you, which I have grounds to do.”
“She”—Kyle jerks a finger at me—“was the one screwing around with the client.”
“And she’s sitting down, taking her punishment for that, while you’re acting like a spoiled fucking child. I won’t ask again, sit the fuck down.”
Kyle sits down, muttering a curse.
“Now, you two are going to think long and fucking hard about what’s important to you while you’re suspended. You know the rules, and if you do anything like this again, there’ll be no second chance. You’re suspended, effective immediately.”
Then he turns to Kyle. “I need to talk to Delaney. You’re free to leave.”
Kyle grunts and storms out. When the door slams behind him, Nak turns to me. “I can’t stop you seeing Jaxson, Delaney, but I can’t allow you to go back onto his case, even if it’s still happening by the time your suspension is over. I’m sure you understand.”
I nod. “I never meant to upset you, Nak. I fell for him and…”
“I know, and I can understand that matters of the heart can’t be controlled, but the choices you made after that are on you. You know the rules, Delaney, and you chose to break them.”
I nod. “Yes, I did.”
“You’re a smart girl, and I’m giving you a second chance. For God’s sake, don’t waste it.”
Then he stands and leaves.
I drop my head, my heart aching.
I feel like I’ve let him down, but mostly, myself.
* * *
Jax tries to call me when I arrive at my apartment, but I don’t answer. I feel strange being back here, lost and unsure what I’m going to do. We’ve been suspended without pay, but luckily I’ve already saved enough from the job with Jax to cover me. Nak has put security on my apartment building and Kyle’s, but he doesn’t think there’ll be any threat, considering they’re watching Jax and not us.
I don’t care.
I get home and crawl straight into my bed, exhaustion, hurt, shame and disappointment in myself are clawing at my heart, trying to bust it open. I can’t let them, because if I do, I’ll start crying and I’ll never stop. I’m not ashamed of what Jax and I did, and if I had a second chance, I’d probably do it again because he means something to me. The phone in my hand buzzes again and I glance down at it. Jax once more.
Like last time, I don’t answer.
I roll to my side on the bed and fight the tears. Somehow during that I drift off. It’s probably physical and mental exhaustion combined because when I wake I’m in the exact same position and it’s early evening. I slept an entire day away. I push up into a sitting position and yawn, staring around my now-dark room. I lift my phone into my hands and see sixteen missed calls from Jax.
That makes my heart hurt.
I put the phone down and get out of bed. I walk slowly, with an aching body, out into the kitchen and make a coffee. Then I flop onto the couch, suddenly feeling like I have no purpose. My life in the past month has been so hectic, I’ve forgotten how it feels to have nothing to do. Boredom is not my best friend, and after half an hour on the couch, I’m up and pacing the room.
I’m midway through when the door busts open. I gasp and let out a little strangled scream as Jax strides in. Duke is chasing him, yelling and carrying on, telling him to stop. Jax walks up to me, determination in his eyes, and he literally hauls my body up against his. I don’t have time to think about the fact that I left my damned apartment door open, or that he’s here, because he crushes his lips down on mine.
Duke’s voice fades out and the emotions I’ve been holding back come flooding out as Jax’s mouth moves softly over mine. He kisses me like he’s never kissed me before, slow and deep, full of emotion. Tears burst forth and slide down, combining themselves with our kiss. Jax pulls back and stares down at me, a softness in his grey eyes that I’ve never seen before. He reaches up, swiping his thumb over my cheek and wiping away the tears.
“You haven’t given up on us, have you?”
I look into his eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing right now.”
“If you think you can get away from it that easily, you’re wrong, kitten.”
My smile trembles. “What makes you think I want to get away from it?”
He grins, weakly, but it’s there. “Does this mean you’re going to hang on, for me?”
I reach up, cupping his jaw. “I’ll hang on, Mr. Shields, because I think you just might be way too hard to forget.”