As soon as Spencer stepped into the lobby of the Fermata spa, a smile flitted over her lips. The room smelled like honey, and the soft, burbling sounds of the fountain in the corner were soothing and tranquil.
“I booked you for a deep tissue massage, a carrot body buff, and an oxygen facial,” Spencer’s mother said, taking out her wallet. “And then after that, I made us reservations for a late lunch at Feast.”
“Wow,” Spencer gushed. Feast, the bistro next door, was Mrs. Hastings and Melissa’s regular lunch spot.
Mrs. Hastings squeezed Spencer’s shoulder, the smell of her liberally applied Chanel No. 5 perfume tickling Spencer’s nose. An aesthetician showed Spencer the locker where she could stash her clothes and change into a robe and slippers. Before she knew it, she was lying on a massage table, melting into a puddle of goo.
Spencer hadn’t felt this close to her parents in a long, long time. Last night, she and her dad had watched The Godfather in the den, her dad quoting every line by heart, and later, she and her mother began planning the Rosewood Day Hunt Club benefit that would take place in two months. Plus, when she checked her grades online this morning, she’d seen that she had aced the last AP econ test. Good news like that called for an appreciative text to Andrew—he’d been her tutor—and he wrote back saying he knew she could do it. He also asked if she wanted to go with him to the Valentine’s Day dance in a few weeks. Spencer said yes.
Her conversation with Melissa still nagged at her, though, as did A’s note about a cover-up. Spencer couldn’t believe her mother would make Melissa blame Ian for Ali’s murder. Melissa must have misinterpreted their mother’s concern. And as for A . . . well, Spencer certainly didn’t trust anything A had to say.
“Honey?” The masseuse’s voice floated down from above. “You’ve suddenly turned to stone. Let go.”
Spencer forced her muscles to relax. Crashing ocean waves and cawing seagulls swelled from the sound machine. She shut her eyes, huffing three short yoga fire breaths. She would not overreact. That was probably just what A wanted.
After the massage, the carrot buff, and the oxygen facial, Spencer felt loose, soft, and glowing. Her mother was waiting for her at Feast, drinking a glass of lemon water and reading a copy of MainLine magazine. “That was wonderful,” Spencer said, flopping down. “Thank you so much.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Mrs. Hastings answered, unfolding her napkin and placing it neatly on her lap. “Anything to help you relax after everything you’ve gone through.”
They fell silent. Spencer stared at the hand-thrown ceramic plate in front of her. Her mother ran her pointer finger around the lip of her glass. After sixteen years of playing second fiddle, Spencer had no idea what to say to her mom. She couldn’t even remember the last time they’d been alone together.
Mrs. Hastings sighed and stared absently at the oak bar in the corner. A couple of customers were sitting on high stools, nursing lunchtime martinis and glasses of chardonnay. “I didn’t mean for it to get like this between us, you know,” she said, as if reading Spencer’s mind. “I don’t really know what happened.”
Melissa happened, Spencer thought. But she just shrugged and tapped her toes to the beat of “Fur Elise,” one of the last pieces of music she’d learned during her piano lessons.
“I pushed you too hard in school, and that pushed you away,” her mother lamented, lowering her voice as four coiffed women carrying yoga mats and Tory Burch purses followed the hostess to a back booth. “With Melissa, it was easier. There were fewer standouts in her grade.” She paused to sip her water. “But with you . . . well, your class was different. I saw how you were satisfied with being number two. I wanted you to be a leader, not a follower.”
Spencer’s heart sped up, yesterday’s conversation with Melissa fresh in her mind. Mom wasn’t exactly Ali’s biggest fan, Melissa had said. “Do you mean . . . Alison?” she asked.
Mrs. Hastings took a measured sip of her sparkling water. “She’s one example, yes. Alison definitely liked to be the center of attention.”
Spencer chose her words carefully. “And . . . you thought I should have been?”
Mrs. Hastings pursed her lips. “Well, I thought you could have asserted yourself more. Like that time Alison got the spot on the JV field hockey team and you didn’t. You just . . . accepted it. You usually had a little more fight in you. And you certainly deserved that spot.”
The restaurant suddenly smelled like sweet potato fries. Three waiters paraded out of the kitchen with a slice of cake for a stately, graying woman a few tables over. They serenaded her with “Happy Birthday.” Spencer ran her hand over the back of her neck, which was a little sweaty. For years, she’d hoped someone would say out loud that Ali wasn’t all that, but now, she only felt guilty and slightly defensive. Was Melissa right? Had her mom disliked Ali? It felt like a personal criticism. After all, Ali had been her best friend, and Mrs. Hastings always liked all of Melissa’s friends.
“Anyway,” Mrs. Hastings said after the waiters had stopped singing, lacing her long fingers together, “I worried that you were settling for being second best, so I started pushing you harder. I realize now it was more about me than it was about you.” She tucked a strand of pale hair behind her ear.
“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, gripping the edge of the table.