Her Touch

Alice pointedly looks at me and then back to Maggie as if to ask if she’s okay alone with me.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Maggie says and gives her friend a hug.

Once Alice is out of the room and I hear the guest room door at the end of the hall close, I turn my eyes to Maggie.

“Sunshine…” I begin.

“Not right now, Eli,” she says, walking over to the kitchen sink and putting away her glass. “It’s been a long day, and I just want to go to bed.”

Her shoulders sag, and I stand up, going over to her and resting my hands on them. She might not want me right now, but we’ve been like magnets since the moment we met, and if I’m in the same room with her, I have to be near her.

I start to rub her shoulders, easing some of the tension, and her head falls back on my chest.

“I was just going to say that I can make you some brownies if you want something sweet.” I kiss the top of her head, and for a moment I keep my lips there. Smelling her shampoo and whatever sweet scent that makes up my Maggie.

She laughs a little, and it might be the best thing I’ve heard in almost a year. “You don’t know how to make brownies.”

“True. But you do. And I could help.”

“So your way of making me feel better is to make me cook so you can eat?” She turns in my arms and looks up at me with a smile, a real, genuine one this time, and my heart beats like never before.

“I think that sounds about right,” I say, reaching out and running a finger on her jaw. “Come on, you know you love me.”

The words turn her to ice, and I realize that something I used to say to her so many times has a completely different meaning now. She does love me, and I love her. But she doesn’t know that. All she knows is I took off. I need to tell her everything. All that I’ve been holding back from her.

But it’s too late. She’s stepped away from me and now she’s got her hands up in front of her. She doesn’t want me to come anywhere near her, and the thought is tearing me apart.

“Maggie, I didn’t—”

“That’s enough, Eli,” she spits out. “I’m going to bed. Don’t follow me.”

With that, she turns, and I do as she asks. I don’t follow her. Instead, I stand there thinking about how much my leaving hurt her and how much I want to make it right. It might be the smallest thing I can do right now, but it’s something. I go to the cabinet, take out a bowl, and make her brownies.

When I’m finished, I leave a plate of them outside her door. They aren’t as good as hers, but it’s a start.

Chapter 13

Maggie

I roll over in bed and look at my clock. I don’t need to get up for another hour, but I know I’m never getting back to sleep. I barely slept at all. Flipping the covers back, I sit up in bed and drop my head into my hands.

God, this is a mess. I feel like I’m all over the place.

“Dad, you better come back to me.” I say to myself before standing up from my bed and walking over to my dresser. I pick up the framed picture of him, Eli and me from my seventeenth birthday. God, we looked so happy. I’d always felt like my dad and I were a family, but it was always just the two of us. I loved having our family grow. Or I thought I did.

Now I have no idea what’s happening. Eli’s sending me mixed signals that don’t make sense. I can’t go there right now. I already feel like my broken world has now become unfixable. I can’t lose my dad. I just couldn’t bear it. Not having him or Eli… I push the thought from my head. I can’t go there right now.

I want to kick myself for all the moping around I’ve been doing these last months. I should have been soaking up every second I could with my dad. What if I never see him again? A sob leaves my throat, and I choke it back.

I walk into my bathroom and brace my hands on the sink, looking at myself in the mirror.

“Get it together, Drummond.” I say it in the same tone my dad would always use on me when I was having a tantrum or an emotional breakdown. “Get your ass up and do your day.”

I let go of the sink feeling a little better and start getting ready, moving through my regular morning routine like it’s any other school day. When I open my bedroom door I stop short when I see a plate of brownies sitting there. I pick it up.

He made them. My heart does a little flutter at his effort, but another part of me questions what is happening here. Why he is doing this? Does he really want me? Maybe he’s just making nice because he knows he has to. He’s my legal guardian now. He has no choice, so he has to be here.

I hear a sob come from Alice’s room and I go over. I enter without knocking and find her lying in bed. She looks like she’s been crying all night. I drop the brownies on the bedside table and crawl into bed with her. I wrap myself around her and let her cry. There isn’t much I can say that hasn’t already been said. I know she needs a good cry. It will make her feel better, and I want her to know I’m here. I’ll lie here forever if it makes her feel better. Alice has already lost enough people in her life. Major better get his ass back here.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“I love you,” I tell her, and she gives me the words back. I crawl from the bed, grab a box of tissues, and bring them back to the bed. She sits up and takes a few from the box.

“He’s coming back,” I tell her again, the same thing I told her last night.

She nods, but I can read the doubt all over her face.