Home Tears

She stopped right in front of her. “Can I talk to you? Just you and me?”

“No crowd to cheer you on?”

Dani flinched. “You and me? Please?”

Julia stood, and Dani led the way.

Why was she doing this? She wasn’t sure, but it felt right. They were center stage. All eyes were on them, but Dani didn’t care. She was starting to care less and less, and when she found a private corner between two horse trailers, she turned around.

“When did we become enemies? Sometime in our childhood? When Mom died? When?”

Julia looked down at her hands. She was fidgeting with her shirt. “Why are you doing this?”

“I don’t know,” Dani admitted. “Maybe because I’m tired of hating something, but not knowing what I’m supposed to hate. Maybe because I’m tired of this supposed ‘fight’ between us. I don’t hate you, Julia. You’re my sister.” Her words hung in the air. She repeated them, “You’re my sister. We share so much.”

“Like what?” Julia snorted.

“We both lost our mother. We both lost a sister. We both weren’t taught how to love each other. And we both loved the same man.”

Julia looked away and turned her back. Dani saw her wrap her arms around herself. It took a second, but she heard, “I love him. Present day. I love him now.”

“And I remember my love for him.”

Julia’s shoulders arched upward. Dani heard the soft sniffle from behind. Her sister was crying. Her supposedly heartless sister was crying.

“I don’t want Jake back.” Dani took a breath. “I left that night and he and I, we haven’t gone through the process of seeing each other again when we weren’t together. Does that make sense? I’ve thought about him with someone else, but now I’m back. We have to go through that process of seeing each other not together for closure, but I don’t want him. I don’t love him anymore.”

“But you used to.” Julia turned back, her hand to her face, as if just waiting to swipe another tear before it trickled down.

“I did.” She had loved him so much. “It took an entire year before I didn’t think about him when I woke up in the mornings. A year.”

“You left us.”

Dani stiffened.

Julia lifted her chin up, challenging her. “You didn’t tell anyone. You have no idea what you put us through.”

“Put you through what?” Dani narrowed her eyes. She must’ve heard her sister wrong. The sister who never wanted her around. The sister who always took Erica’s side in every fight. The sister who barely talked to her, even when they were children. She would come in the house, laughing, and look around for someone to share whatever had made her laugh. She’d see Dani, and that light would dim in her eyes. Every time. She’d find Erica or Kathryn to tell, and Dani would hear them laughing together from the next room.

“Ten years, Julia.” She closed her eyes. “I went through twenty-two years of torture from you and Erica. Twenty-two to your ten?” She shook her head. There was no comparison.

“It was a selfish, thoughtless act that you did. You have no idea what you put Erica through—”

“What I put Erica through? Erica?!” Dani cocked her head to the side. Maybe her hearing was actually going? “Erica was probably the first to celebrate I left. She wasn’t this perfect little princess everyone pretends she was. She might’ve changed at the end, but she wasn’t perfect. She was far from it.”

Julia paled. “You don’t even dare—”

“She stole boyfriends.”

Julia gasped.

“She cheated on her boyfriends.”

“Shut up.”

Dani pressed, “She lied. She backstabbed. She called the cops on at least six of her friends’ parties. She stole money from you, Aunt Kathryn, and me—she probably stole from friends. She sent one girl to a psychiatric hospital. Erica wasn’t a saint, and I’m tired of you acting like she was.”

Julia refused to look at her. She turned to the side, and raised her head even higher. If she’d been looking at Dani, she would’ve been literally looking down her nose at her. “You shouldn’t say those things, not about Erica. She’s not here to defend herself.”

“She doesn’t need to be.”

“We all know why you left. Stop blaming Erica for everything. So what? Yes, she stole Jake. Well, I have him now. Are you going to talk about me how you’re talking about Erica? I’m alive, Dani. What are you going to say about me when I die?” A shrill laugh slipped from her.

“I just told you that I’m not here for Jake.”

“Then why’d you come back?” She whipped back around to face Dani fully. Her nostrils flared. “Why are you here? We were fine without you.”

Dani felt slapped in the face. The real Julia just stepped forward. “Not even thirty seconds ago, you were saying how could I have left and put you through…what? What did I put you through? You’re mad I’m back, not that I left. That’s the truth. Isn’t it?”

“Stop it, Dani.” Julia hissed. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah,” She bit out. “What I just said. You’re mad I came back.”

“This isn’t your town anymore.”

This wasn’t her home.

“Jake’s mine.”