Home Tears

Page 88

“They told us to stay here for our safety.” Robbie rose.

“From what? We’re in the clear. The flooding is up north, and the water’s not coming down or it would’ve been here by now.”

“The topsoil is eroding up there. They’re worried about what that’ll do to the river down here.”

Mae could’ve rolled her eyes, her tone gave the same effect. “The river hasn’t flooded since the dam was built. We’re fine. We’re always fine. I’m going.”

Barney and Jeffries stood, too.

“Let’s go, guys.” Mae motioned and followed behind. Jeffries offered Dani an apologetic smile, but fell in line.

Robbie shook his head. “Huh.”

“What?” Dani asked, but her attention had just left the building. If they left, she knew the ones who remained would follow. It only took one pebble to fall down for the whole pile to crash. This so wasn’t good, and she had no idea where Jonah was.

“I didn’t know Jeffries was married.”

“There are some secrets that are just meant to be. I’m sure that’s what it is. I’ve learned that much since moving home.” She had to find Jonah. He’d know what to do. “I have to go. I’m not going far. I’ll be back.” She patted his arm. “Make a list.”

“For what?”

“For Kate.” They’d been discussing his love life before Mae decided to lead a revolution. “If she’s the one for you, start making a list of nice things to say and do for her. Trust me. Tell her she’s beautiful and give her gifts. Lots of gifts. She’ll melt.”

“You sure?”

“Oh, yeah.” She gestured outside the center. “I need to find Jonah. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

But going outside, she couldn’t find him. He wouldn’t have been in the center, or he would’ve found her instead. The town was near vacant. Everyone left for their homes while the others remained inside. She walked around, hoping to see something or someone who might know where Jonah could be.

She found herself in front of the boat store.

“Dani?”

She turned around. “Jake.”

“I saw you, and I figured you were out for a walk, to clear your head or some sorts.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Folks can’t get arrested for going to their homes.” Jake shrugged. “I saw you leave. Figured I should try to protect someone tonight.”

Dani knew it was time. It was the conversation and the person they never talked about. She knew this talk would happen, and on some level, she’d been waiting the entire time. Almost everything was done. She made peace with Julia, and said her goodbye to Kathryn. It felt right to have this talk now.

It was time.

“Did Erica say anything? When she died? Like—” Dani had no idea.

“No.” His eyebrows bunched together, and his head fell abruptly. “She did say some things, but…”

“It’s okay.” Her throat tightened with emotion. She felt something. Something was awakening inside of her.

“She was so much like you, but she was different, too.”

“She was stronger.”

“No.” His response was swift. “She was different. That’s all.”

Dani swallowed.

“She was funny. She was sarcastic, opinionated, thoughtful, regretful. She had the hardest times with Aunt Kathryn, but she knew that Kathryn needed her and Julia. She sucked it up and was dutiful.” Jake laughed. “That was the only time—or the only person—that I ever saw her be nice for them, not for her. I know that makes her sound like a horrible person, but she wasn’t. I swear, Dani. She wasn’t a bad person at all. She turned different when she was around Julia and Kathryn, around some of her friends. But that wasn’t all of her.”

He added, an afterthought, “I wish you would’ve known that Erica. You would’ve been friends. It was that Erica I loved.”

Dani felt the first tear.

Jake continued, hoarse, “She’d always put cloves in our food. I hated it. They were awful, but Erica said that they had to be in there. They had a purpose and I should just be patient. She loved lilies. She had them in vases all over the kitchen, and she even put up a wallpaper border of lilies in our bedroom.”

Jake was allergic.

“I hated them, but—”

“You loved her.”

“She was mine. She was a part of me.”

Dani drew a ragged breath. “You were my best friend, and I lost you to her, but I’ve never admitted to myself that it wasn’t you I lost that night. It was her. I didn’t know her, and we never had a chance. We were never given a chance. So much shit in our family.”

A hole was there. It was widening.

“Erica kept a wall to the world. She lost her mother, and she had two older sisters. Julia kept it together by controlling everything. Erica told me she had to play along or Julia would’ve ‘freaked.’ Her words. And then she had you, but you pulled away before Erica knew what was going on. She was the youngest, Dani. She didn’t know better. It was too late when she did.”

Dani was already gone.

He added, “You were a kid, too.”

“I was broken.” Her fingernails curled into her skin. “We were all broken.” She looked at him, wiping away her tears. “Is there a time when you get over it? When you start to put it all behind you?”

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