How to Drive a Dragon Crazy
“What changed?”
“Long ago an enemy battled with the men of this very city far out in the desert.”
“Leaving the city defenseless.”
“Exactly. The gates were closed and barricaded, but it was no good. Those gates came down. It was . . . very bad. Some of the women chose to kill themselves and their children. But one woman, who’d already lost three of her children during the siege, was so filled with rage, she rallied the surviving women to fight. They were smart, though. They waited until the soldiers were quite drunk and then they killed them. They killed them all. When the men returned, it was decided that the men would never leave their women defenseless again, but they all knew that wasn’t good enough. Because a woman has to know how to protect herself. So the women trained, their daughters were trained, then their granddaughters. And with every generation we’ve become stronger, more powerful. Now we’re a force. Now we’re never left defenseless, no matter who is in or out of the city.”
Understanding the desire to never feel defenseless again, Izzy nodded and ate more of the oxen that was their dinner. It was good and she found the spices quite interesting.
“Tell us, Izzy,” Maskini asked, “how did you become a general of three legions?”
Izzy swallowed the food in her mouth and replied, “Killed a lot.”
Éibhear winced at Izzy’s answer. Even worse, she didn’t seem to notice that everyone had stopped in mid-chew, all of them looking at each other.
“What Izzy means is—”
“What I mean is I killed. A lot. That’s what I do. No one sends in Izzy the Dangerous to keep the peace or hold a line. They send me and my troops in to decimate. If they want to keep the peace, they send in General Borden of the Tenth and Thirteenth Legions.”
“And this started for you . . . when?” Zarah asked.
“Well.” She took another bite of oxen, thought a moment. “I killed my first Northland dragon when I was seventeen. With the help of me mum.”
Zachariah blinked. “You killed a dragon with Talaith?”
“Uh-huh. Right after that I was assigned to a legion as a private. Then when the war against the Irons and Sovereigns started, I became Annwyl’s squire and that’s when things became . . .” Izzy looked up at the ceiling, puffed out her cheeks a bit, and finally finished with, “Well . . . yeah. It’s been a while.”
“All right.” Zarah focused on Éibhear. “And what about you, Prince Éibhear?”
Izzy giggled, but he ignored her and said, “You can just call me Éibhear. We don’t really use titles. Well . . . my mother does, but that’s because she really likes her title.”
“I see. And do you serve in your mother’s army?”
Éibhear cleared his throat. “Sort of.”
“What does ‘sort of’ mean?” Zachariah demanded.
“I’m Mì-runach.”
“What’s that?”
“Berserkers,” Izzy volunteered.
“We are not berserkers.”
“They fight naked,” she went on. “Bare handed in the middle of battle.”
“We do not.” He looked at the family staring at him. “We don’t. I promise.”
“I have a question,” one of the teen boys asked. “How did you find one of our battle dogs?”
“Is that what I’m smelling?” Maskini complained, now peering under the table, where Macsen had been for most of the dinner. “All this time I thought it was the damn dragon.”
“Well, I haven’t had a chance to bathe in a few days,” Éibhear shot back, insulted.
Ignoring that, Izzy asked the boy, “Your battle dog?”
“This is a Desert Land battle dog. You’ll find them in almost every army in the region.”
“Really? I found him near the Western Mountains when my legions were battling one of the horse tribes.”
“He was a long way from home then.”
“Are you sure he’s not really a demon?” Éibhear had to ask.
Izzy threw up her hands, but the boy nodded and asked, “The rock eating?”
“And he chewed up the head of my steel axe.” Éibhear looked at Izzy. “By the way, you owe me an axe.”
“I told you not to leave your weapons out. The dog can only resist temptation for so long.”
“They’re excellent battle dogs,” Zarah explained. “Absolutely loyal to their masters until their last breath. I had one for years that I adored. Although he smelled and insisted on chewing up diamonds. I could never take him into the jewelry district with me because he’d leap up on the displays and gobble up all the diamonds.” She shook her head. “Never liked the rubies, though, which I always found much prettier.”
“See?” Izzy asked Éibhear, sounding quite proud. “He’s a dog from a mighty line of battle dogs.”
“He smells,” Éibhear reminded her. “Even after you bathe him, he smells and he drools and we won’t even discuss the gas problem.”
“Ahh!” Zarah cheered. “I’ve got something that will help with the gas.”
“But not the smell and drool?”
Zarah grimaced a little at Éibhear’s question. “That you’ll just have to learn to live with, I’m afraid.”
“Yeah, you’ll have to learn to live with that, Uncle Éibhear,” Zachariah grumbled while the other males glared.