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How to Drive a Dragon Crazy





“You’re not one for forgiving, are you, Iz?”

“I forgive. When you’re not an outright cunt to me mum.” She looked intently at her cousin. “Family’s all, Brannie. Family’s all.”

Brannie started laughing hysterically. “I still can’t believe you used that one on him!”

“All right,” Aidan admitted. “I like her. I like Izzy.”

A fist slammed into his face, snapping his head to the side.

Aidan cracked his neck, moved his jaw around to make sure he still could, then looked back at his friend. “I mean, I like her as a fellow being and I like her for you. I didn’t mean I like her so let me get her into a corner so I can f**k her blind.”

“Oh.” Éibhear gave a small shrug. “Sorry then.”

“No, no. I like getting punched in the face for no bloody reason.”

“It’s a habit. What can I say?”

“Thought you only did that with family.”

“ ‘Thought you only did that with family,’” Éibhear imitated-sneered back at him.

Aidan looked around the table, remembered why he’d never fit in with the regular army in the first place. Gods, what a miserable life to lead. “On the way back, let’s stay in a town when we need a break. Or even a bloody barn.”

“Aye.” Éibhear sat up, his elbows on the table, his hands rubbing his tired face. “We should have stayed where we left the horses. We’d have had to stay human, but at least we’d have a bed and I wouldn’t have to deal with—”

“Cousin? Oy. Cousin!”

Éibhear let out a long breath. “What, Fal?”

His cousin leaned in, his arm around one of the prostitutes, and whispered, “So did you get her yet?”

The Mì-runach, who sat on the other side of Éibhear and could hear Fal, stopped eating. They might have stopped breathing.

“Don’t know what you mean,” Éibhear tried, really hoping his cousin would let this go. Although Fal believed himself as charming as Gwenvael the Handsome, he didn’t realize he lacked the one thing Éibhear’s brother had in abundance: intelligence. For it was intelligence that was the thin line between endearing rapscallion and idiot bastard.

“Izzy,” the idiot bastard pushed. “You finally get her or has my brother still got you beat there?”

Éibhear clenched his jaw, the back of his neck began to itch, and his hands curled into fists, but he said nothing.

“Have you even tried, cousin?” He leaned in closer and Éibhear realized Fal was well into his cups. “From what I’ve heard over the years, it’s really not that hard to get in there.”

Still, Éibhear said nothing. Not yet.

He focused across the table, his gaze on Izzy. She was chatting and laughing with Brannie, oblivious to what was going on.

“Look,” the idiot pushed, “if you don’t want her for yourself, you should give her to your Mì-runach friends there. Or maybe when you’re done with her. That’s what you do for friends. Not that you have friends anymore. Not since you got poor Austell killed. But I’m sure you know what I mean. They’ll appreciate the gesture.”

Aidan pushed his plate away, fell back in his chair. Caswyn had his face buried in his hands, and Uther was hunched over the table, his entire body tensing so hard that it seemed he was shaking. He wasn’t. He was tense. Tense was never good when dealing with the Mì-runach.

Brannie glanced over at him. She kept up her conversation with Izzy, but she was a Cadwaladr, too. If there was one thing every Cadwaladr learned to do at an early age, it was to be painfully aware of when their kin was doing something incredibly stupid. Brannie studied Éibhear’s face before turning back to Izzy. She laughed at something her friend said and then watched Izzy get up from her chair, thank the commander of the outpost, and excuse herself from the table. She walked off and Brannie watched her until she’d left the cavern.

Then Brannie’s smile faded and she relaxed back in her chair, her gaze moving back to Éibhear’s.

With a nod, Éibhear grabbed the back of Fal’s head and rammed it against the table, again and again, and then a few more times for good measure. When he was done with that, Éibhear stood up, grabbed his cousin by the back of the neck, lifted him up and flipped him over.

Fal slammed into the table, a loud hiss of air leaving his lungs. He shifted back to his dragon form and so did Éibhear.

That’s when the officers got to their collective feet and quickly shifted to their dragon forms, ready to fight for their idiot comrade. But the Mì-runach were ready to fight for Éibhear and four Mì-runach against a large contingent of officers and their troops was . . . well . . . not really fair to the officers and their troops.

Brannie got to her feet, removed her clothes so as not to rip them, and shifted to her dragon form. She held her front forearms away from her body.

“Well?” she roared, abruptly facing the salt mines commander. “Come on then!”

Izzy wandered away from the cavern. She didn’t know what was going on and she probably didn’t want to know. But she’d known Brannie for so long, they’d been through so much together, that Izzy knew something about the She-dragon’s brother was upsetting her. So Izzy had left and found her way to one of the exits. The Dragon Queen’s troops had been industrious over the years and they’d built a lovely little balcony directly into the mountainside.
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