Mariah's ability to breathe died for a single, exquisite second. Joy filled her heart and almost made her weep at its poignant sharpness. Nothing he could have said would have meant more to her. Her throat burned with unshed tears, her eyes glittered with them.
She looked at him, met his searingly honest gaze and knew that he meant it.
Suddenly she wanted to tell him about Thomas, to share with him the excruciating burden of her sadness and let her soul be comforted by the simple act of talking.
"Come on, Mad Dog, let's fight." Jake's youthful voice shattered the moment, sent it spiraling into the oblivion of lost chances.
Mariah forced a bittersweet smile. "Try not to hurt him," she whispered throatily.
Mad Dog didn't smile. He just looked at her through those heart-wrenchingly honest gray eyes. "I always try not to hurt people."
"But it happens," Mariah said quietly.
Mad Dog sighed. They both knew exactly what they were talking about, and it had nothing to do with Boxing. "It happens."
It was the first time Mariah had ever despised honesty.
Mariah checked her appearance in the mirror. Again.
Nervously she tucked a stray lock of hair into the loosely woven braid that streamed down her back.
It wasn't much of a hairstyle; she'd tried for hours to match the hoity-toity chignons and rolls in the magazines, but without success. Finally she'd given up on looking sophisticated and elegant, and chosen instead to look relaxed.
It might have worked if she could unclench her jaw.
She forced herself to take a deep, calming breath. It was just a braid, she told herself. Women had been braiding their hair for years. She had no reason to feel self-conscious.
But she was. She'd done this for Mad Dog; tried to look pretty. And now she didn't know which scared her more—that he would notice or that he wouldn't. She hadn't cared about her appearance in years, and she realized now what a blessing that was.
Just thinking about Mad Dog's response made her stomach knot up.
She almost hoped he didn't notice.
Stiffening, she smoothed her damp palms on her brown apron and turned away from the mirror. Head up, braid swinging, she marched down the stairs and sailed from the house.
Outside, the fires she'd started earlier were burning brightly, belching smoke up around the sooty cast-iron caldrons that squatted above them. Jake stood at one caldron, stirring the bubbling applesauce with a long, wooden-handled paddle. Rass was sitting beside him, his folded body propped against the side of the spring-house. His soft, rumbling snores wafted through the air.
Jake looked up at her and smiled. "Gosh."
She paused, fighting the urge to tuck the stray hairs from her face. "What is it?"
"You look pretty with your hair that way."
An unfamiliar heat crawled up Mariah's throat. An uncertain smile pulled at her mouth. "Thanks."
He eased the long paddle from the applesauce and carefully laid it on the makeshift canning table Mariah had set up earlier. "Wait here, okay? I'll be right back." Without waiting for her response, Jake tore off across the farm and disappeared in the barn.
Mariah smiled. All of a sudden, she felt pretty. Whistling softly, she headed for the canning table and started peeling the last few apples of the harvest.
Jake came out of the barn at a dead run. Breathing hard, he raced across the orchard and skidded to a stop beside the table. "M-Mariah?"
She glanced at him. "Uh-huh?"
He chewed on his lower lip and swallowed hard. His knobby Adam's apple slid up and down his throat. "I wanted you to have this." He held out his fist. Slowly his fingers unfurled. On his palm lay a frayed, wrinkled pink ribbon.
Mariah stared down at it, feeling an absurd urge to cry.
Jake glanced down at his feet. "It belonged to someone I loved i lot. I want you to have it."
Mariah stared at him, standing there so alone and frightened-lcoking, his hand outstretched, his face downcast, and felt a powerful rush of emotion. God, she wanted to surge toward him and take him in her arms and tell him how very much that scrap of a ribbon meant to hei But she was afraid of frightening him away, afraid she was blowing a molehill of a gift into a mountain of jmotion.
"It's just a dumb old ribbon-----" he said in a thick voice.
Mariah redized how long she'd stood there, staring at him, sayirg nothing. She reached out and took the ribbon from him. It felt warm and satiny in her palm.
"Would you tie it on for me?"
He looked up then, and she saw the sheen of tears in his eyes. "You'll wear it?"
She swallcwed hard. "I'd be proud to wear it, Jake."
He came up beside her and took the ribbon back. She turned around.
Hesitantly, he pulled the coil of twine from the tail of her braid and replaced it with the ribbon.
"There," he said, stepping back.
She turned around. He looked up at her, his green eyes filled with the same aching, tender emotion that filled her heart.
There were so many things she wanted to say to him right now, but somehow nothing made it up her thickened throat. It had been so long since she'd expressed her emotions, she didn't know how to anymore. So she just stood there, staring at him, hoping he could read her mind.
He gave her a slow, hopeful smile.
And, crazily, she thought that he had.
Chapter Nineteen Mariah stood at the kitchen window, staring out across the quiet farm. Dawn was breaking along the horizon, sending plumes of purple and pink into the midnight blue sky.
She watched, mesmerized, as light broke across the land. A glittering layer of hoarfrost clung to the acres of dead grass and shimmered on the fencing. Cleo stood at the paddock gate, waiting to be grained, her breath visible in the cold air.