If You Leave

Page 46


I shake my head. “Men.”

We grab the milkshake and are at Pax and Mila’s within a few minutes.

As we walk up to the front door, Pax opens it. Apparently he’s been watching for us.

“Hey, little brother,” I greet him carefully. “What’s going on?”

Pax is wearing his most intimidating expression as he opens the door wider, motioning for us to come in. If I were a guy, I’d be tucking my tail and running. But Gabe doesn’t. He stands firmly at my side.

“Hey, Mad,” Pax greets me before turning to Gabe. “Can you give us a minute? I’d like to talk to Gabe, if you don’t mind.”

“Actually I do,” I tell Pax. “I’ll just stick around for this. And don’t forget what Mila told you. No touching allowed.”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Pax tells me as we head up into the living room. I glance at him.

“Oh, I think I do. I’ll stay,” I answer firmly.

He shrugs. “Suit yourself. It’s not going to take long,” he says, turning to Gabe.

“I already told you that I respect the hell out of what you did as a Ranger. Because of all the shit you had to do, it doesn’t surprise me that you came home with baggage. That’s fine. I don’t hold that against you.

“But if you ever treat Maddy like that again—if you ever leave her high and dry or lay one finger on her in a way that I don’t approve of, I will fuck you up. You might be an Army Ranger, but don’t ever doubt that I can hold my own.”

Gabe looks at him in the eye as they stand toe-to-toe. Pax’s arm flexes at his side, but Gabe remains relaxed and still.

“I don’t doubt that,” Gabe answers calmly. “Any of it. Trust me, I’m not going to hurt Maddy again. I promised her and I promise you. What I did was shitty. I didn’t know how else to protect her from me, so I just left. If I could do it over, I would think of another way. But I can’t. What I can do is promise to never fuck up like that again.”

Pax nods slowly. “That’s all that needs to be said. I respect the hell out of you coming to Tony’s funeral and speaking. That was a stand-up thing to do.”

Gabe nods slowly. “Thanks. It just seemed like the right thing to do.”

There is a pause and I stare at Pax.

“Are you done waving your penis around now? Because I should go see Mila and I don’t want to leave you two alone unless it’s safe.”

He chuckles. “It’s safe, Mad. She’s upstairs, of course. I need to talk to Gabe a little about business before I leave. Thank you again for coming out today. I know that she doesn’t need a babysitter, but I just don’t like her being alone now that her due date is so close.”

“Oh, I agree,” I tell him. “She shouldn’t be alone. It’s not a big deal for me to be here.”

When I walk away, I overhear Pax talking to Gabe about his armor again, something that makes me smile. I knew that he’d only withdrawn from investing because of me.

He’s loyal to the bone.

I climb the stairs and poke my head in Mila’s room.

“It’s all over. Everyone has been adequately threatened and apparently all is well.”

I hand her the milkshake.

“I’m glad,“ Mila answers. “I didn’t want him to say anything at all, but you know how men are.”

Scowling, she rolls this way and that, trying to get situated. I bend and adjust the giant pillow that she keeps behind her back.

“Better?”

She nods, but I can tell she’s lying. “I can’t get comfortable today,” she grumbles. “My back hurts. And my hips. And my everything. It’s probably because I’m getting so enormous. And because I’m stuck in this freaking bed.”

I eye her tiny body. “Yeah, you’re enormous. You look like a gnat with gas. Sit still and I’ll do your nails. It’ll keep your mind off of it.”

“You can try,” Mila sighs as she examines her hand. “But my discomfort refuses to be ignored.”

“Well, we’ll give it a shot.”

I have painted her fingers and have moved on to her toes before she finally brings up Gabe. I’ve been waiting for it. Actually, I’m surprised it took her this long.

“So, are you going to tell me more about how it’s going with Gabe?” she asks, attempting to be casual.

I smile. “It’s great, actually. I know he’s only been home a day, but apparently his nightmares have gotten better and things are on the right track. We’re good, Mila. It’s hard because so much has happened, but I’m just so happy he’s back. That’s all that matters right now. We’ll deal with everything else.”

“I know that feeling.” Mila nods. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of this, Mad. But trust me, sometimes the hardest situations make for the best happily-ever-afters. I have to believe that you’re gonna get yours. Gabriel has definitely put the work in.”

“I know,” I agree. “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. To find out that it’s not real. That I just dreamed it—that I’m going to wake up and he’s still going to be gone. But so far, so good. It’s real and he’s here and everything’s OK.”

“You’ll get used to it,” she tells me knowingly, glancing at my face.

I look up at her. “Used to what?”


“Used to loving someone like that, used to not waiting for it all to collapse. I know it’s hard, especially after he left you like that. I know how that feels. Gabe loves you too, you know. Anyone can see it. And one of these days, you’re going to realize that what you have is real. You’ll learn to trust it.”

“God, I hope so,” I murmur, knowing exactly what she means. We slip into silence as I finish up her toes, each of us lost in her thoughts.

After a while, after the nail polish has dried, Mila shakes her head, as if to shake the thoughts away.

“I could really use a shower,” she tells me wryly. “I only get to have one once a week, you know. It’s the grossest thing ever. Those sponge baths just don’t do it for me.”

“You do smell,” I agree and she slugs me. “OK. I’ll help. Let me go get your stuff ready and I’ll be right back.”

She nods and I make my way into her bathroom to get her shower bench ready, and line up all her bath products so she doesn’t have to reach for them.

I come back and take her spindly little arm, helping her from her bed. Her muscles shake as we walk, evidence of how much they’ve deteriorated over the past few months of disuse. The doctor said it was normal, that she’d build them back up after the baby was born, but right now she’s so clearly weak.

“You really do have chicken legs now,” I tell her helpfully as she takes off her robe and I settle her on the bench. “Just like Tony always said.”

Thinking of Tony makes my throat instantly tight, makes me instantly sad, and I wish I hadn’t said it. I guess Mila thinks the same way because she punches me again.

“Ow,” I grumble as I turn on the water nozzle and accidentally spray her in the face with it. She screeches at the cold water, grasping at me with wet hands.

“Hey,” I shriek, grabbing her. “I’m sorry. Calm down before you hurt yourself. You were up entirely too much yesterday. You don’t need to push your luck today.”

She obediently settles down and sits still as I spray her hair with warm water and work it into a lather with shampoo. I hum aimlessly as my fingers massage her scalp, then as I rinse the soap out.

I absently space out, lost in my thoughts; thinking about Gabe, and about what he might do. Will he maybe move in with me? It’s all so exciting and new and terrifying.

Suddenly Mila startles, grasping at her stomach, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“What’s wrong?” I ask anxiously. “Are you in labor?”

She shakes her head, flinches as she curls over into herself.

“Ow. No, I don’t think so. This isn’t right,” she mutters. “Labor is supposed to be a gradual thing. This… owwww.” She moans, clutching at her stomach again. She glances up at me, her face suddenly pale. “Maddy, this isn’t right. Something’s wrong.”

Shit. It’s because she was up yesterday.

“Pax,” I shout in panic, but I quickly realize that he won’t be able to hear us from in here.

My hands are shaking so much that I can barely get her out of the shower. Somehow I manage, but just as I reach to turn the water off, she screams, loud and shrill, before she completely doubles over.

Looking down, I see that the sudsy water swirling around the drain has turned red with blood.

Within seconds it turns into more blood than I have ever seen.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Gabriel

Pax is just telling me how interested his grandfather is in DefenseTech’s armor when we hear a bloodcurdling scream. I can’t tell if it’s Maddy or Mila, but it doesn’t matter.

We both lunge to our feet and race down the hall.

As we burst into the bedroom, Maddy is pulling Mila out of the bathroom. Mila is completely naked, dripping wet and covered in blood.

“Pax,” Maddy shrieks. “We need an ambulance.”

I immediately pull out my phone and dial 911 but Pax shakes his head as he scoops up his unconscious wife.

“There’s no time,” he shouts over his shoulder as he runs down the stairs with his bloody wife in his arms.

Fuck.

Mila rips a sheet from the bed and we follow Pax as fast we can. Mila is bleeding so much that there is a wide trail of blood on the stairs. Maddy slips in it, tumbling to the landing, smearing blood onto her clothing, her hands and her face.

I pull her up and we race to meet Pax at the car.

“Here,” Maddy tells Pax, thrusting the sheet at him. “At least cover her up.”

“Hurry up,” he grunts, holding Mila out so that Maddy can ram the sheet down around her. “We’ve gotta hurry. What happened, Maddy?”

“I don’t know,” Maddy admits, her voice shaking. “I was giving her a shower and then she screamed. There’s way too much blood.”

And there is. It’s gushing everywhere, dripping through the sheet and onto Pax, saturating his clothes.

“I’ll drive,” I offer, leaping into the driver’s side door. Maddy dives into the back and Pax collapses into the passenger seat with Mila on his lap. It’s tight, but in his desperation he makes it work.

“Hurry,” he commands me, although there’s no need. My foot is already on the floor.

The wheels on the Charger barely touch the ground as we fly toward the hospital. As I drive, Maddy calls up to Pax, “Do you know her doctor’s number?”

“Of course not,” Pax snaps back. “I don’t know that shit. Just call 911. They can let the hospital know that we’re on the way.”

So Maddy does, her voice shrill as she tells the dispatcher the situation.

Mila doesn’t open her eyes for the entire ten-minute drive to the hospital, regardless of Pax’s pleading.

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