If You Leave

I’m barely in my office for ten minutes before Jacey finds me. She barges in without knocking, as she always does, adjusting her blonde ponytail before she drops into a chair in front of my desk.



“Maddy, what the hell? You and my brother are staring at each other like you’re food on an all-you-can-eat buffet. What the hell is going on?”



Her large brown eyes are curious as she waits for me to answer.



I start to speak, close my mouth, then try again.



“Last night… Gabriel…”



But it doesn’t want to come out. I don’t want to tell her that I almost hooked up with her brother. It doesn’t feel right. This feels like dangerous territory. Isn’t it against a code somewhere to not date your friend’s brother? Especially when something strange seems to be going on with him? If she doesn’t already know about it, I certainly don’t want to be the one to give her the bad news.



Jacey knows me well, however, and her eyes glitter and then narrow as she looks at me.



“Go on. What about last night?” Brief pause, then her eyes light up. “Oh. My. God. Did you meet Gabe last night in Chicago? He was supposed to meet us but didn’t because there was some problem with his taxi. But you disappeared too. Did you meet my brother last night, Madison? There’s no way… right?”



I swallow hard and look away.



“Oh my God!” Jacey crows, jumping from her chair and dancing around in a weird circle, like an awkward little bird. “You hooked up with my brother!”



I stare at her warily. “Almost. Is that weird?”



She looks at me like I have two heads.



“Are you crazy? I’ve wanted you guys to date for years. But when we were teenagers, he never wanted to come into town in the summers. He was going through a shy stage or some shit. And then he went overseas. You’re perfect for each other. You just don’t know it yet. The real question is why didn’t you hook up last night? You never explained.”



I roll my eyes and glance at the clock. It’s just shy of seven, prime dinner rush.



“Don’t get too excited. It was a late night, it was a club… and we just got a little carried away. And then we were in an accident in the taxi and it killed the mood. Since you were the one who talked me into trying to hook up with someone, the whole thing is your fault, if you think about it.”



Jacey ignores that last part as her brow furrows.



“An accident? Gabe told me this morning that there was a problem with his taxi. He didn’t say anything about an accident. Was anyone hurt?”



I shake my head. “No. Some guy just ran a red light and T-boned us in the intersection. The taxi was totaled, but nobody was hurt. It totally killed the mood, though.”



And so did walking a strangely incoherent man home to his apartment and leaving before he could murder me and hang my skin in his kitchen cabinet or something.



I so want to ask Jacey about Gabriel’s weird behavior, but I hesitate. Her face is completely frozen now, as she looks utterly concerned about her brother. I don’t want to give her even more to worry about.



“Holy shit,” she breathes. “I owe Gabe an apology. I thought he was just making up an excuse for ditching me. You guys could’ve been hurt.”



I don’t tell her that he actually was ditching her when we got in the accident.



“Yeah, I guess so. But we weren’t. Just shaken up.”



Him more than me. But again, I don’t mention that part.



Jacey shakes her head and sighs. “I swear to God, that man attracts dangerous situations. A normal person runs away from danger and Gabe runs straight for it. Always has. No one was surprised when he joined the Army Rangers, but I’m definitely surprised that he’s lived this long.”



This is the perfect opportunity to get more information about Gabe. I stare at my friend, trying to decide how best to go about it.



“I don’t remember you telling me that he was a Ranger before,” I tell her carefully. Jacey stares at me.



“Do you listen to me at all?” she demands. I flush. Truthfully, I tune her out sometimes. She tends to chatter aimlessly. A lot.



“Gabe’s been overseas with the Rangers for the last three years,” she continues. “It’s all he ever wanted to do. It’s why I’ve been so worried about him. He was in combat and Rangers do some scary shit. But then something happened and he resigned his commission. And he came home. So did his best friend, Brand. Now they’re starting a business together, but I don’t understand any of it. It’s so not them. They’re Rangers to the bone.”



She’s quiet now, subdued. I hesitate to ask, but I can’t help it.



“What happened?”



She shrugs and looks me in the eye. “Your guess is as good as mine. He won’t talk to me about it. But it fucked him up. I know he has problems sleeping and he’s just not himself. Like, he gets mad easier and shit.”



I must look horrified or something because Jacey rushes to continue.



“Not like super mad or anything. He just gets annoyed easily now. That’s not like him. But I know that he’ll go back to normal eventually. Probably soon. I’ve done some reading on guys who come home from combat. Apparently this stuff is normal. It will go away.”



This stuff is definitely not normal. Not what I saw last night, anyway. But I don’t say that. From what Jacey is saying, it’s clear she has no idea what’s going on with him.



It fucked him up. She did get that part right.



Something twinges in my chest, something soft, something I usually keep hidden away. It must be my heart, but it’s hard to say. It’s been so long since I acknowledged that part of me. But the idea of a wounded soldier who came home damaged like that gets to me.



For a second I picture Gabriel in fatigues, sweaty and dangerous in the desert. It suits him, actually. But then I picture him injured and maybe even alone and for whatever reason, I hate the thought. I swallow hard, then change the subject to lighten the mood.



“I’m sorry, Jace. That’s terrible. But if that’s true and he’s some badass alpha guy, then there’s no way he’s right for me. I don’t like guys who are adrenaline junkies or whatever. And I definitely don’t like guys who lose their tempers easily.”



She scowls. “That’s not what I said. He doesn’t lose his temper easily. He’s just… more easily annoyed. I think he’s just adjusting to civilian life. It’s not a big deal, Mad. You should give him a chance.”



I already did.



I push away the thought of Gabriel’s hand between my legs last night in the taxi, while the taxi driver was right in the front seat. I sort of liked that adrenaline junkie side of him last night. I can’t lie. Not to myself.



When I fail to answer, Jacey rolls her eyes. “What the hell has happened to my old friend? The one who liked to take chances and steal gin from her parents’ liquor cabinet and sneak out of her bedroom window to go to beach parties? You know, the Madison who didn’t do things like leave her BFF at the club? I hope she comes back soon because I need a partner in crime again. I want the old Madison back. And when she comes back, she can date my brother.”



Her words practically stab me in the heart because I feel old. I feel boring. I feel like someone I’m not. And she’s totally calling me on it. So I do what I always do when I’m cornered. I hide behind a wall.



I roll my eyes. “Whatever. That Madison isn’t coming back. It’s called growing up. You should try it. And shouldn’t you be checking on your tables? Julie is probably going nuts without you.”



Jacey stares down her nose at me. “Fine. You can get rid of me right now, but trust me, I’m gonna come back to this conversation. You’re going to tell me every detail about your ‘almost’ one-night stand with my brother and we’re going to discuss how you should date him.”



With that, Jacey flounces out of my office. I try to turn my focus back to my never-ending paperwork, but I can’t help going back to her words.



A retired Army Ranger. That makes such perfect sense.



Disciplined. Rigid. Dangerous. That all fits the description of a Ranger, at least in my limited experience. And even though I haven’t seen evidence of it in his actions, I can see all of that in his eyes.



He doesn’t seem very old, though. He can’t be much older than me, so it must’ve been something really bad that made him retire so young.



I decide that Gabriel Vincent is an enigma.



A blatantly arrogant enigma.



A scorchingly sexy, dangerous-as-hell enigma.



An enigma with a rippling six-pack and smoldering eyes.



Against my better judgment, I creep back down the hall and peek around the corner at him. Jacey’s got her arms wrapped around his shoulders, laughing down at something he said. While he chuckles with her, he’s relaxed and warm, much as he was with me last night before the taxi incident.



Across the table from him, his friend laughs at the two of them. Brand, I think Jacey called him. He’s built like a brick wall and drop-dead sexy as hell. Blond, blue-eyed, crooked grin. He looks like a real-life Thor. Holy shit—is this what Rangers look like? If so, they’re definitely our country’s finest.



But when I look at Brand, even as gorgeous as he is, the blood in my veins doesn’t catch fire like it does when I look at Gabriel.



Gabriel fascinates the hell out of me. When he’s in a room, he owns it, completely and totally. The memory of him sticking his finger in his mouth from across the room causes my eyes to flutter closed.



The stuff Jacey told me about him coming out of the Rangers early only made my curiosity worse. I want to know more about him, yet at the same time I know I should run far away from him.



Because there’s one thing I know about myself. Try as I might to stay away from powerful, strong guys, guys who command a room, guys who might hurt me… I am totally and completely attracted to those guys. I’m attracted to the very things that might hurt me the most.



It is glaringly obvious that Gabriel is all of those things.



And more.



Chapter Six



Gabriel



Madison disappeared into a hallway an hour ago and she hasn’t been back out since. She hasn’t even been back out to sit with her sister, Mila, the chick who introduced herself to me. That makes me think Maddy might be hiding from me, which is a thought that makes me smile. I don’t know why… sadistic, I guess. But if she’s so coolly put together, the way she’s acting tonight, then the thought that I rattled her is funny as hell.



I glance back over Mila’s way. She’s laughing and trying to force-feed her husband a strawberry. Pax, I think she told me. What the hell kind of name is that?



He’s a big dude and rough-looking, but then I guess he’d have to be with a name like that. It looks like he’s been domesticated, but it’s just as apparent that it wasn’t always that way. He’s got that look in his eyes. That lean and mean look that doesn’t just go away.



Mila laughs again and as she glances up, her eyes meet mine for a second and I think about what she said to me.