If You Only Knew
“Come on, Jenny. Snap out of it.”
“You look... You’re beautiful.”
His brow wrinkles with an incredulous look. “Can we get this show on the road? You look nice, by the way.”
I manage to close my mouth. “I better. I spent a fortune on this dress.”
“Impressing the old boyfriend. A staple of the female psyche.”
“It’s more like ‘impressing the ex-husband’s wife,’ but yes.”
Tonight’s the dinner at Owen and Ana-Sofia’s, and of course I bought a new dress. I’m a clothing designer. Clothes are maybe the one area in which I can claim a slight edge on Ana-Sofia. Not that it’s a competition; she was crowned the victor a good while back. Whatever the case, I’m wearing a Catherine Deane white embroidered dress with leather trim and my suede gray-and-black leopard print Manolo shoes. Don’t judge me. Whenever I buy an outfit that costs this much, I donate the same amount to a charity. Plus, I have to look gorgeous as part of my PR program for Bliss—or so I justify my clothes-whore ways to myself.
“You’re driving, by the way,” Leo says. “Hang on, I’ll get Loki.”
“What? No, you won’t. Loki’s not coming!”
“He is, or I’m not.” He gives me a patient, pitying look. “Jenny, what if he has a seizure? I’m not leaving him.”
“But I didn’t tell them we were bringing a dog.”
“So what? Throw them off their game a little. Fuck up their perfect little world. Maybe Loki will do you a favor and puke on the new wife.”
“Okay, that is a pleasing image, I’ll give you that. But if Loki sheds on my dress, I’m letting him out on the West Side Highway.”
He leans in, and I practically swoon. “No, you wouldn’t,” he whispers. “You’re too nice.”
“It’s hard to stop eye-fucking you when you flirt with me.”
“Duly noted.”
I get behind the wheel and wait as my date-who-is-not-a-date gets his dog and guides him into the backseat. Loki growls at me, but I’m used to it by now. The smell, however, is new. “You can wash dogs, I’ve heard,” I say as Leo gets in the front seat.
“Yeah. Well, Loki doesn’t like baths.”
“Neither does my niece, but she gets them.” I start the car and pull into the street.
Leo turns back to see if Loki is settled, and pets the foul-tempered (and smelling) dog. I do admire his devotion to the animal. It’d be nice if the animal could find it in his heart to like me a little. I see him almost every day, after all. Now that the weather is gorgeous and the days are longer, Leo is outside in his chaise lounge more than ever. I’ve bribed both Leo and Loki with meat products, but it’s only worked on Leo so far.
There have been no other kisses exchanged. Made me almost wish for Loki to have another seizure.
“So tell me about Mr. and Mrs. Perfect,” Leo says.
“It’s Dr. and Dr. Perfect. She has a PhD in something noble. He’s a plastic surgeon, the type who fixes facial deformities, not the boob-job type. She runs a foundation that digs wells in third-world countries.”
“I hate them both already.”
“Thank you, loyal friend.”
He grins, and I have to concentrate on not sideswiping the Hummer in the lane next to me.
“So what went wrong with you and Dr. Perfect the Male?”
“Owen. I don’t really know.”
“Oh, come on. Sure you do.”
“The divorce was his call. I was very happy.”
“Really? So you were completely stunned when he sat you down for the talk. No warning signs. Just blissful happiness and then he shot you in the heart.”
“Yep.”
“Jenny. You’re not that dense, are you?”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel. Behind me, Loki farts, and the smell is damn near toxic. I give Leo a look and roll down my window.
“I’d rather not analyze the failure of my marriage right now, okay?”
“What better time? I bet there were warning signs.”
“Maybe there were. I just didn’t see them as warnings. I thought it was just normal stuff.”
“Like what?” He’s turned in his seat to look at me, and there’s something about his eyes that basically forces a person to talk. The interest, the kindness, the hint of humor—or mockery. “Tell Uncle Leo.”
I sigh. “He wanted to travel more than I did. He did three weeks with Doctors Without Borders every year, and he wanted to do more. His workdays got longer and longer. He zoned out when I talked about my job.” The sex wasn’t fabulous anymore. He stopped laughing at my jokes.
He got bored with me.
Leo sighs. “Men suck.”
“Preach it, brother.” I put on the turn signal and take the exit that leads to my former home.
* * *
Ana-Sofia greets me at the door with her usual cry of joy. “Jenny! How wonderful to see you! And you look so beautiful!”
I’m horribly overdressed. Ana is wearing long wide-legged raw silk pants and a white asymmetrically cut, perfectly simple tank top. Eileen Fisher, fabulous on Ana’s superslender tall figure. Bare feet, no makeup, no pedicure, her straight, long hair in a simple ponytail.
Damn. I got the clothes completely wrong tonight.
“And you’re Leo,” Ana-Sofia says, kissing Leo on both cheeks. “Come in, come in! Oh, you brought your dog! Hello, puppy!” Loki, that foul-breathed, gaseous cur, wags his stumpy little tail and lets Ana-Sofia stroke his ears. Traitor.