If You Stay

Pax



I am falling, falling, falling.



It is black and dark and I can't see, I can't think, I can't feel. But that's how I like it. If I can't feel, then nothing hurts. So I keep it that way.



If I wake, I drink myself back to sleep with a Xanax chaser. It isn't long before I'm in the black again, drifting pointlessly along, sleeping without nightmares.



Only blackness.



I sigh. This is where I belong, where the dark is timeless.



Painless.



The light is painful. The light is where I see her face and know how I failed her.



I'll stay far away from the light.



Forever.



It isn't worth it.



I start to close my eyes but realize that they are already closed, so I smile.



This is where I belong.