I forced myself further into the heat. Was that her shoe, right there, through the flames? Had she been wearing sneakers? I forced my eyes open, searching for the mirage. I was beaten back again, the heat pouring over me like boiling water. The fire was at my elbows, stabbing me.

I reached the other side of the island. Someone was definitely calling my name. Was it her? Was I close? I could only see the floor, tiles mussed with smudges of black. The countertops had collapsed on themselves, shooting splinters of wood into the centre of the kitchen. Knives and forks nipped and jabbed at me as I crawled over them. Trickles of blood trailed down my arms and sizzled in the heat.

There. That foot again. I was trapped behind the flames, and the spark of white rubber was unmoving.

‘Mom,’ I called out, but there was nothing but smoke spluttering out of me. The room was pressing down on me, pinning me to the floor.

Somewhere over my shoulder, someone was yelling at me. It wasn’t her. It was harder, deeper, further away. I was fixating on the shoe, trying to keep my eyes open. It was impossible. Everything was amber. Searing, white-hot, burning, shrieking amber. I was choking, but if I could just get to that shoe, I could grab her leg. I could wake her up. She would come back to me. We would crawl out of here together.

The shouting soared above the fire. There was so much screaming and it was closer now. Was it coming from me? From her? I could barely tell.

Where did the shoe go?

There!

I lunged but the fire soared, whipping at me, and I collapsed behind the flames. My lungs filled with smoke and I gasped, my body lurching for fresh air. There was none. I pulled my head up, searching, but it was too heavy. It flopped back down.

Her foot had disappeared behind streams of red and orange. Had it been a foot at all?

Something cracked and I was forced down, my cheeks smashing against the floor. I had lost direction. It hurt to suck in what little air was left. The flames were surrounding me in a circle. Which way was out? I scrabbled across the tiles, shrinking tight into a ball. I could feel the flames licking at my bare skin.

‘Mom!’

Nothing came out.

‘Someone help us!’

Clammy hands grabbed my ankles, pulling me backwards. Was she behind me? I couldn’t remember what direction she was in. Voices surged around me. There was yelling, arguing. The hands didn’t belong to her – these hands were coarse, their grip tight against my seething skin.

I clawed forward again, dropping my body against the floor. The hands were pulling me back. They moved to my waist and then my shoulders. I coasted backwards, my body scraping off the tiles.

‘No,’ I gasped. ‘No. No.’

A sliver of warm air rushed into my lungs, but everything was still glowing. The ground was cool against my cheek. My eyelids drooped. I would rest here, just for a moment. I would let sleep take me from this nightmare. I was in a dream, and the dream was scalding me alive.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

SIRENS

Wind beat down on my weathered body. I lurched and something rolled down my chin. The air was too cold to choke in. My head felt like it was splitting in two. Aches pulsed through my limbs, sticking me to the ground.

Think. Concentrate. I tried to switch my brain back on.

The ground was rough beneath my legs. The pressure was gone from my chest. The back of my head was scratching against something. I was on my back. Yes.

The lights behind my eyes were still blazing, but the roaring was somewhere behind me. The heat was close, but not like it was before. Wind was pushing hair across my face. It stuck to my lips. Drops of water pricked my cheeks. It was raining. I was outside. Yes. There was a chorus of new sounds soaring into the night.

Sirens. I tried to imagine what a siren was. Ambulances. Fire trucks. Police cars. We were safe.

‘Sophie!’ That familiar voice, silky like honey. Nic. Yes, that’s right. Nic is here.

There was more noise – clanging, shouting. There were discussions – serious, angry discussions. A female voice. ‘Sophie? Sophie, can you hear me?’

My mother?

No. Not her.

There were more words, important words, falling around my ears. I strained to listen. Smoke inhalation. Gas leak. Explosion. One more. One more left. One more left inside.

My attention snapped. I was falling away from reality, into something else. My limbs stopped aching. Everything was weightless. The voices were drifting far away from me, the warmth barely reaching me now.

I fell down, down into blackness.

And then light was flickering. My mother’s voice beckoned me towards her. The fire surrounded her, but it wasn’t hot any more.

‘Sophie? Can you hear me?’

I stumbled forwards, falling at her feet. She knelt down to me, her big blue eyes swarming with tears. Her lips were moving but I couldn’t hear her voice. ‘Sophie, can you open your eyes for me?’

She pulled me into her. I wrapped my arms around her neck, expecting the softness of her hair and the gentle scent of her lavender perfume. Her arms were like reeds, slimy and cold. They fell away, withering to the ground. I frowned, pulling back. Her hair was stringy and damp, her perfume like wet earth. I tasted ash in my mouth. I blinked and her face disappeared. I turned and the blackness engulfed me.

‘Sophie?’

Inside, my body cracked and splintered. Heat surged through me, scalding me. Outside, my arms and legs sprawled in puddles, shaking with cold.

Where was she?

Where was I?

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

TRAGEDY

GAS EXPLOSION DESTROYS FAMILY