I tempered my response. There were some things she would understand, and some things she definitely wouldn’t, and the truth of what I was planning was in the latter category. ‘It means I’m going to lie low, just until the danger dies down.’
‘Then lie low here, Soph. You know you’re always welcome at mine …’
I had to smile, because we both knew it wouldn’t work, and still she had offered because that was the kind of person she was. Unafraid. Loyal. ‘You really are an amazing friend, Mil.’
‘So are you,’ she shot back.
‘I think you’re definitely winning in the friendship stakes right now.’
Her laugh tinkled down the line. ‘You’ve had your moments too, Gracewell.’
Gracewell. I bristled. That word. That lie.
It stood for nothing.
‘We’ll deal with this together,’ she said, filling up the silence and pulling me from the impending spiral of rage and disappointment I was becoming all too used to.
I ignored her unfailing optimism, a part of me wishing I could believe it. ‘I think the whole point of being a good friend is not putting your friend or her family in danger when you don’t have to.’
‘I’ll be fine.’ She didn’t sound sure, but I didn’t need her to be, because I was sure about two things now: Jack was incredibly angry, and he was also incredibly dangerous. That made him unpredictable. And if Millie sheltered me, she’d be in his firing line too, and I would never let that happen.
‘I’m not taking that chance,’ I said firmly. ‘And you know that.’
‘Where are you going to go? What are you going to do? Where are you now? Did Jack—?’
‘Mil,’ I interrupted. ‘I have a plan, don’t worry. I promise I’ll fill you in as soon as I can, OK?’
‘OK,’ she relented after a short silence, her voice turning sceptical. ‘But whatever happens, just don’t leave me behind.’
Even the thought of it made my chest seize up. ‘Never.’
‘Because I cannot do senior year without you. It’ll break my spirit, Soph. It’ll suck the soul out of me.’
‘I know,’ I said, soothing her through a bubbling laugh. Her drama was the only kind I would freely welcome into my life. ‘Don’t worry,’ I teased. ‘I’ll go into the darkness with you.’
‘Good,’ she said, matching my tone. ‘Because you’re my light.’
‘You’re so sappy.’
‘You love it.’
‘I know.’
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
THE BEGINNING
I waited on the doorstep at Evelina, counting the heartbeats it took for the door to open. Nineteen.
‘Sophie.’ Luca stepped out of the darkness.
‘I was hoping it would be you.’
He smirked. ‘What can I say? I am most people’s favourite.’
I bit back the retort I would have offered him under normal circumstances – Can your entire ego really fit in this house? Instead, I offered him the apology I owed him. ‘Listen, I didn’t mean any of that stuff I said to you in my room. I was just so sad and panicked and angry about everything. And, well, you were there and I couldn’t stop everything from bursting out of—’
‘Sophie.’ Luca raised his hand, frowning. ‘Please don’t apologize for the way your grief chose to be felt that night.’
‘But I was so rude.’
‘Well, you usually are rude, so I’m used to it.’
I shot him a withering glance and he swallowed it up with a grin. I’d forgotten how disarming his smile could be. It was his greatest weapon.
‘Jack came back for me,’ I said.
His expression darkened. He ran his gaze along my frame appraisingly. ‘Did he hurt you?’
‘No, but I think I cut his eye out with your switchblade.’
His eyebrows disappeared under black unruly strands of hair. ‘Is that right?’
The reason for my visit rested between us. He knew what it was, but I knew I had to say it. I had to make it real in order to move forward. And he had to hear it.
‘I’m on my own now,’ I said quietly. The realization was a sting, and saying it aloud seemed to take all my energy with it. ‘For the first time, I’m really, truly on my own.’
Luca came a little closer, like he was trying to enclose us in a bubble where the badness couldn’t reach me. We could have been anywhere in the world just then, because I could only see him. ‘Do you want to stay here?’ he asked. ‘With us?’
This was it – the first step. I was turning away from the sun and facing my destiny. I had to say the words. I had to make them real.
Unflinching, unblinking, I said, ‘If you let me stay, I’ll help you kill them.’
He gaped at me. ‘Is that a joke?’
‘I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.’
‘Marino,’ he said, his voice twisting. ‘That’s dark.’
I held his stare, ice-blue and blazing. For the first time ever I had a purpose edged with steel and fervour. I knew what I had to do. I had made my choice. The path was dark, but there was no going back.
This was my world. It had always been my world. It was time to stop fighting it and start living in it.
With drops of my uncle’s blood still staining my fingertips, I stood on the threshold to the criminal underworld, facing the Falcone underboss, and sealed my destiny.