Jake was a drug, and I was a junkie looking for my next high before I even came down from the last. Up until this moment, he had been my emotional addiction, but now it was officially physical too. I might spend the rest of my life walking around completely strung out, and I didn’t care. I wanted more.

“I want more,” I said, breaking from his kiss.

Did I just say that out loud?

He smiled against my lips and said, “Now, I want…you.”

I didn’t ask for permission when I pulled his briefs down and wrapped my hand around his c**k and began to stroke him. He was hot and slick in my hand. His breathing quickened, and he stood up onto his knees, as I got my first glimpse of him fully na**d. He looked down at me with a hunger in his eyes and spread my legs apart gently. It was all too much to take in: his handsome face, his perfect tattooed body and his beautiful cock, which was bigger than I had ever anticipated and surprisingly...not pierced. The tip was beautifully untouched and glistening and I reached my hand out and rubbed him some more, circling the top with my thumb, as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, almost losing control. “Stop,” he urged as he smiled down at me. He then reached over to the nightstand for a condom, ripping it open with his teeth and sheathing himself.

He looked down at me and ran his fingers through my hair. “Nina…my angel,” he said softly, as his fingertips moved over my mouth. No one had ever looked at me like that. He hadn’t said those three words yet, but his eyes were telling me a story again. This time, they were telling me that he loved me and that he was scared that things were about to change between us. If things didn’t work out, there was no going back to the way things were. We both knew it.

He kept his gaze on me when he lowered himself down, and I immediately felt him between my legs. The heat there was immense, and he wasn’t even inside of me yet. I was looking down at us and not at his face. “Look into my eyes,” he said.

He stared at me with his beautiful green irises with gold speckles spread out like stars in a night sky and said, “I want you to forget the other sexual experiences you think you had, because this is your first time. You will always belong to me and unlike your prick ex-boyfriend, I’m gonna finish the job.” We smiled at each other, and my heart nearly combusted. I was dying for him and just like that, I felt the friction and then the unprecedented pleasure of him fully inside of me.

He kissed me as he moved in and out of me with a graceful intensity. Every movement was intentional, as he started off easy, pulling almost completely out each time before slipping slowly and deeply back inside. When I tightened my muscles around him and grabbed his ass, he laughed over my mouth because he knew I was egging him on and said, “You want to play like that, baby?”

I giggled into his mouth and nodded. He then began to thrust harder and faster and I moved my hands off of his ass, so he wouldn’t lose control.

“Nina…God, you’re so wet. It’s so beautiful. You feel amazing. Better than amazing. Better than anything I have ever felt.”

His kiss became more urgent, and we developed a rhythm for several minutes that was all-consuming. I never understood the meaning of becoming one during sex until this moment. I was lost in him and had no concept of time.

When I returned my hands to his ass, he let out a growl and broke from my mouth. “Tell me you’re close…because I don’t know how much longer I can go. You feel too good. I’m losing control. I need to come.”

“I’ve been holding out for you.”

“Don’t hold out, baby.”

I closed my eyes when he said, “Open them…look at me. I want look in your eyes when we come together.”

He thrust into me harder, never taking his eyes off of mine. I wanted to let go at the exact moment he did. I squeezed my muscles and watched as he groaned loud and deep as his eyes rolled back once before returning to my gaze. He began to pulsate fast inside me and I finally let go and screamed as I surrendered to the best orgasm of my life.

Holy shit. I just had sex with Jake.

Our hearts beat against each other as he collapsed onto me and buried his face in my neck. All I could think about was how right he was. Tonight had been my first real sexual experience.

CHAPTER 19

I hadn’t counted the number of times or ways we made love that night, but we didn’t stop for hours. I kept wanting more, and he kept accommodating me, making good on his promise to “make me come until I screamed in every possible way imaginable.” We might have even been in the midst of another round when I fell asleep because when I woke up at three in the morning, I hadn’t even remembered nodding off.

The lamp was still on, and to my relief, he was right next to me fast asleep. He locked me into his warm grasp with his arm across my belly. As I looked down at his handsome face, I wanted to cry because I had never been so happy and so scared at the same time in my entire life. This moment in time was like a dream I didn’t want to wake up from. I was terrified of what he needed to tell me later today.

My thoughts kept me up, and I really needed to use the bathroom, since I hadn’t peed at all after leaving Eleni’s last night. Quietly slipping from underneath Jake’s arm, I tip toed down the hall. There was a note on the mirror.

Glad to see you two made up. From what I could hear, you actually made up multiple times last night. --T

I would deal with her later.

When I returned to the bedroom, he was in the same position sound asleep on his stomach with his arm reaching across my side of the bed. Lifting it, I slid back underneath him. When I glanced over at my nightstand, I noticed a folded piece of paper that hadn’t been there last night and opened it.

I met a girl, a few months back

With huge blue eyes and an amazing rack.

Turned out she was moving in

And kind of looked like an Olsen twin.

She put up with my shit and sarcastic wit.

And faced my wrath when she sucked at math.

Until her, it had been a while

Since anyone truly made me smile.

It might have been fate, in a way…

Her moving in that day.

I found the more time with her I’d spend

She actually became my best friend.

When we made love, things did change.

In fact, it’s really strange.

That friend delivered by fate?

Turns out…she was my soulmate.

And as I lay here watching her sleep,

I realize my feelings run deep.

Because they burn and cut like a knife.

I think I love her more than life.

P.S. On my second birthday, you came into the world and were the best present I never knew I got. And this year? Best. Birthday. Ever.

The paper shook in my hand as I reread his beautiful words and took it all in.

Soulmate.

He loved me more than life.

It was his birthday too?

After a few minutes, his body stirred, and I jumped as his hand squeezed my side. His eyes opened, and he smiled groggily. “I see you got my note.”

I turned to him so our faces were just inches apart and pulled him into a gentle kiss. “I love you, Jake. The days since we met have been the happiest of my life.”

He kissed me harder, then said, “I meant every word…except the Olsen twin part.” He chuckled. “You don’t really look like them to me, actually. Ryan mentioned it before you moved in, and I messed with you about it that first day. You look more like a young Brigitte Bardot.”

Note to self: Google Brigitte Bardot.

He caressed my face. “You fell asleep in my arms, and I couldn’t sleep because I was so overcome with emotion. I had to get it all out. So I did it on paper. But now, I need to tell you that I am so crazy in love with you, Nina Kennedy.”

He pulled me in for another kiss, sucking on my bottom lip gently before slowly releasing it. My panties were already moist again. My appetite for him was insatiable.

“Your birthday was really yesterday too? Seriously…January 8th?”

He ran his fingers through my hair and nodded. “I couldn’t f**king believe it when Tarah texted me Friday about your birthday being Sunday. My nieces had planned this party for me that day. They are so cute. But I wasn’t about to miss being here with you, so I promised them a rain check next weekend. I couldn’t wait to tell you we shared a birthday. I was gonna say something last night when we broke away from the crowd. I had this whole funny thing planned out about how I was going to tell you, but as you know, the date never happened. Believe me, the alternative was so much better.”

A thought occurred to me and I laughed. “I guess I’m going to have to break the news to my parents, that I’ve fallen in love with my nerdy roommate.”

“Say what, now?”

“I’ve…sort of…painted a picture of you that’s not entirely accurate, so they wouldn’t think I was living with a guy I was attracted to.”

His eyes widened as he grinned. “And so, they think I’m a nerd?”

“Yes. A nerdy engineer.” I laughed.

“You know what I think would be really funny?”

“What?”

“If I actually played the part. Like, put on some glasses, wore a pocket protector, took out my piercings and covered my tats when you take me home. We could have some fun with it. They’d be happy and trust me enough to let me in your room. We could say we were studying. Then, I’d close the door, take off my disguise and f**k you on your canopy bed.”

We both started laughing hysterically at the thought.

He made me so happy.

I kissed him. “No way. I want you just the way you are all of the time. And I want them to meet you.”

He jumped up. “Shit. You had me so distracted last night, I totally forgot about your birthday gift.”

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“It’s in my room.”

Jake ran down the hall and returned with a small black velvet bag with a rope string and sat down on the bed. “My brother-in-law had given one of these to my sister on Christmas. It made me want to get one for you, so I went online that night and ordered one. I didn’t even know when I was going to give it to you. It happened to come in the mail yesterday. I would say after last night, the timing was perfect. I hope you like it.”

Prying the drawstring open, I pulled out a beautiful sterling silver charm bracelet.

I held it in my hand and turned to him. “Jake…”

He took it from me, opened the lobster clasp and placed it on my wrist. “You can actually go online and custom make these with whatever charms you want. They have literally every single thing you can think of. These are all the things that remind me of you.” He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it.

I touched each charm with my fingertips and was floored by the thought he had put into selecting them. There was an airplane, a pair of dice, a four-leaf clover, an angel…even a little bat.

“This…this is the most thoughtful present I have ever received. I can’t believe you were thinking of me like that over Christmas.”

“I couldn’t get you off my mind over Christmas. You knew that. Didn’t I make it painfully obvious?”

“Sort of. But I loved it. I love this. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. I am glad you like it.”

I got up and straddled him. “I haven’t even had a chance to get you a gift.”

“You are my gift.”

That moment was the single most precious of my life. I might as well have handed him my heart on a silver platter; it was his.

It wouldn’t be long, though, before he would shatter it into a million pieces.

CHAPTER 20

The alarm went off at noon, and I was still exhausted. Jake must have set it before he left for work so that I wouldn’t sleep the entire day away. I had fallen back asleep in his arms shortly after he had given me the bracelet in the middle of the night and slept like a log after that.

I stretched my arms in the air and yawned, smiling when I noticed a new origami bat on the nightstand. I opened it.

I am batshit crazy for you. See you tonight.

I kissed it and put it in the drawer with all of the rest, but that one was, by far, my favorite. Last night changed everything between us, and there was no going back. I sniffed my hair and could smell Jake all over it, all over me. His cologne and the scent of his body coated me after our long night of lovemaking. My lips were swollen, and I was sore in all the right places, still intoxicated by him.

Six o’clock could not come soon enough because I was craving him again already. I was distracted and giddy, barely able to focus on what to wear. I looked down at the charm bracelet and closed my eyes. How had I lived my entire life without him?

Dread soon set in as I reminded myself that we were having that talk tonight. I just wanted to get it over with, so we could move on. Whatever he needed to tell me, I would deal with it. It would be okay. We would be okay. We were in love, and that was all that mattered.

Tarah was in the kitchen making a smoothie when I emerged from my room. I was startled to see her because I had forgotten that the salon was closed on Mondays and that she would be home at this time. I prepared myself for the third degree.

She stopped the blender. “Well, good morning at half past one.”

“I know. We didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Oh, believe me, none of us did.”

I covered my face in embarrassment. “Shit. Were we that loud?”

“I’m pretty sure my parents in Staten Island and my cousins in Jersey heard you. Yes, you were definitely loud. Was it as good as it sounded?

“What do you think?”

“You’re flushed. I think he was just as good in bed as he looks like he’d be, if not better.”