Keep

And it was…

“Perfection,” Alec said behind me, and then a guitar joined, and Demetri’s higher voice added the perfect harmony.

“Did you know you lost me tonight?” I crooned. “Leave you, like you left me, just walk away, you always walk away. Take my life away, take my bleeding heart, I’ll allow it.” I breathed. “I allow the pain, I allow the pain, Allow it.” The tempo picked up. “Did you know you lost me tonight? I’ll allow it, a thousand times, I’ll allow it.” Alec joined in with both of us on the melody. “Walk away, tonight, walk away, I’ll allow it.”

I stopped playing, chest heaving, as I stared down at my hands.

The music stopped.

The room was silent, and then Demetri added. “Guys, I think someone broke Zane.”

“Good.” Will, the son of a bitch, said from the sound booth. “He needed breaking.”

I flipped him off, hating that he was right, hating that he was probably the only agent in the universe that truly understood my pain, my process, my past.

“Now,” Will’s voice was commanding. “Do it again.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Fallon

“ARE YOU SICK?” MAGS leaned forward and pressed her palm to my forehead. “Hmm, you feel warm.”

I shoved her hand away. “You don’t even know what you’re doing.”

She held up her hands and then reached for her coffee, chewing on the lid like it was a straw. “You know, you’ve been on edge for the past week.”

One week.

ONE full week of no Zane.

No texts.

Nothing.

And in my gut, I knew it was partially my fault. I’d walked away, he’d shared a part of himself with me, a part that nobody knew, and I’d walked away. Because he scared me, his intensity scared me, he was a forever guy, now more than ever. I shuddered, rubbing my hands up and down my arms.

“You were happy,” Mags pointed out. “Until your little excursion with our fun little popstar on the beach.”

I jerked my head up. “How did you even know about that?”

She rolled her eyes. “You really need to subscribe to more gossip magazines or at least pay attention when you check out at the grocery store.” She held up her finger and scrolled through her phone then pointed the screen at me. “Zane and his new love interest in Cannon Beach love nest.”

“Huh.” I frowned. “Love nest? Clever.”

“Right?” Mags shook her head. “The article says you’re going to be having his love child in about six months.”

I glanced down. “So I look three months pregnant?”

“Maybe stop eating your feelings…” she joked.

I rolled my eyes and tried not to pout, but the sick feeling remained, I wanted to puke, because I’d lost a friend, a good friend, and it was my fault.

“Ugh…” I leaned over the table and pressed my forehead against the cool metal. “I’m so stupid.”

“Ahhh, so he slept with you, you freaked and ran out?”

“Hah.” I licked my lips. “No, that would be impossible.”

“The freaking out part or the running part?”

“The sex part.”

“It’s Zane Andrews.” Mags said slowly. “He sleeps with anything that walks and proclaims itself to have a vagina.”

“Gross.” I prickled with irritation. “And that’s not true.”

“Oh, no.” Her smile was sad as she reached across the table and patted my hand. “He’s got you in his web of sex, doesn’t he? Let me guess, you get to be his new submissive, all you have to do is sign a really long and inappropriate contract?”

I knew she was joking.

But it still stung.

I was literally offended on his behalf.

How did he deal with it every day? The constant jabs at his character.

“He’s not like that.” I whispered. “Not at all.”

“Oh, honey.” Mags sighed. “Look, I know you see the best in everyone—”

“Mags, seriously, he’s not.” I didn’t know how else to say it.

She moved from her seat across from me and wrapped an arm around my body in a hug. “The truth doesn’t lie, my poor innocent sex starved friend. He’s a whore.”

“No, he’s not!” I jerked away from her. “Trust me when I say, he hasn’t slept with anyone…for…a while.”

“A day?” She joked. “An hour? Five minutes?”

“Ever!” I blurted. “Okay? So just, can we drop it? He’s a good guy, and it pisses me off to hear people talk about him like he isn’t.”

“What?” She blinked wide-eyed at me with a frozen expression on her face. “What do you mean…ever?”

“Forget it.” I shook my head. “And if you say anything I’ll hate you forever.”

“Whoa.” She slumped down into her seat. “Either he’s lying to you, or…”

I leaned against her, the coffee shop was mostly abandoned. It used to be my favorite place to go in Seaside when it was rainy out; something about it felt warm and comforting, but right now? It just felt empty without him.

“I like him,” I whispered. “A lot.”

“A lot a lot or just a lot?”

“A lot a lot.” I groaned. “And I walked away from him.”