His eyes met mine briefly before darting away. “No one under the age of twelve.”

“Twelve!” I couldn’t keep the horror from my voice. I hadn’t wanted to believe it was true.

“I know,” he said as he collapsed on his pallet. “But Ceren has far more men at his disposal. We couldn’t have won if we only sent in our adult males.”

“And the Varenians?” I asked, trying to quell my growing sense of unease.

“We saved most of them. I’m afraid we lost a dozen or so in the skirmish.”

My stomach sank as I shrank back against the tent wall. “A dozen Varenians?” Many of my people had turned against me and the people I loved, but in that moment, I couldn’t imagine a single one of them whose loss I could bear.

“It’s nothing compared to the hundreds of Ilareans we killed, Nor. Most of them weren’t even aware of what they were doing. And we lost far more of our troops, too. This is war. People die. I’m not sure what you expected.”

His coldness was like a punch in the gut. “Talin.”

He pulled off his tunic and threw it on the floor. “If you came to make me feel bad about myself, you shouldn’t have bothered. I don’t need any help with that.”

All of the adrenaline and thrill of victory had clearly run its course, and Talin’s guilt was physically evident in the slump of his shoulders and the frown tugging at his lips. My heart ached for him, but I couldn’t pretend that I agreed with any of this.

“There has to be another way,” I said quietly. “A peaceful way.”

His eyes flashed in the candlelight. “War is the opposite of peace, Nor. Diplomacy isn’t going to work with my brother. You of all people should understand that.”

“Was he there? On the battlefield?”

“Yes.”

“Did you talk to him?”

His eyebrows rose, and I immediately felt foolish. “What do you think happens on a battlefield, Nor?”

“I’m sorry. I’m clearly making things worse. I’ll go.”

I was nearly at the flap when he grabbed my elbow. His voice was thick when he spoke. “Wait, please. Today was difficult, Nor. It’s only going to get harder from here. I need to know that I have your support. I can’t go into battle knowing you don’t believe in me.”

I placed my hand over his. “I believe in you, Talin. I always will. But this war... I’m just not sure I believe it’s the only option. Do you know why your mother wants the throne so badly?”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? You know how Ilarean succession works.”

“I know that she believes Zoi should be queen. But she has wanted to see one of her children on the throne even before Ceren became what he is. It can’t simply be about birthright. Shouldn’t what’s best for the people matter most?”

“I’m surprised you of all people would question my mother’s motives,” Talin said. “She grew up under Ilarean rule, just like you did. She wants to make sure her people are safe. And she wants a peaceful Ilara.”

I could understand that, of course. It was the same thing I wanted. But there was a part of me that feared Talia had lost sight of her true aim. She was so focused on the throne she could no longer see all the people she would damage on her way to seizing it.

Rather than press the point with Talin, I said a half-hearted goodbye and stepped out into the night. Most people were celebrating Talia’s victory as I passed through the camp, but I went straight back to my tent to talk to Adriel. She was in her bed, trying to sleep but clearly frustrated by all the noise outside.

“Do you remember the vision I had in Riaga?” I asked her as I perched on the edge of her bed.

She sat up and glanced at my neck. “Of course.”

“Ceren wasn’t drinking my blood in that vision. I think it happened because my own blood was being spilled.”

She arched an eyebrow. “And?”

“He looked completely worn out and exhausted, as I told you. And that was before the battle. I have a feeling he’s out of blood.”

“Good. That should make him easier to defeat.”

“It should also make him desperate to get more of my blood.”

She eyed me suspiciously. “What are you suggesting, Nor?”

“Talin only believes diplomacy won’t work with Ceren because he isn’t willing to give up the one thing Ceren wants.”

Adriel folded her arms across her chest and stared at me. “You mean you, don’t you?”

My doubts about this plan had plagued me since I arrived at Talia’s camp. If I was wrong, I could foil her plans and put the Varenians in more danger. Even if I was right, I would still be forced to confront the source of so much fear and pain. How could I trust myself now, when every big decision I’d made leading up to this point felt like a mistake?

“I’m so lost, Adriel. I wish I had a compass to guide me.”

“You do, Nor.” She smiled and pointed to the center of my chest. “And as far as I can tell, it has never led you astray.”

* * *

We moved camp the next day, thousands of us packing up and crossing the distance to Old Castle. It was heavily guarded by Talia’s strongest troops, the ones who were actually trained soldiers. Some of us were moved into the castle itself, while the vast majority camped in tents outside the castle walls.

Old Castle had once been filled with nobles and royalty, but that had been decades ago, and it looked like what it had been for the interim: a garrison, mostly. The rooms we were given were full of faded furniture and dust. Those who couldn’t fight were tasked with making the place habitable, but there was only so much that could be done.

Adriel and I were given a room together since Zadie was with Sami. I hadn’t seen Talin after our argument, and I hated parting on bad terms. But I hadn’t been invited to any of the war council’s meetings, and neither had Grig and Osius. I could only assume that Talia’s plans remained unchanged, and for now, so did mine.

I went in search of the rescued Varenians as soon as we were settled. I didn’t know any of them well, but it was good to see familiar faces. One, a girl who had been in our choosing ceremony, seemed eager to speak with me. I invited her to have tea with Zadie and me, hoping she might be able to tell us something I could use in the coming days.

Blaise sipped her tea carefully. She’d had poor vision from birth, and therefore couldn’t dive for the bloodstones, which was why she was at Old Castle and not the mines. “The Ilareans who came for us had swords and arrows,” she said, bringing back painful memories of that day for all of us. “A few men fought back, but they were killed immediately. After that, everyone went into the boats willingly.”