Kiss Me
“Shoot. Riley and I were gonna see if you wanted to come with a bunch of us to our house in the Hamptons. Our parents aren’t going to be there. It should be lots of fun.”
“He’s going to be in Long Beach. Is that anywhere close?”
“About an hour south, I think. Do you want to see him?”
“Yeah. I was thinking if I see him it might sorta help.”
“How so?”
“You know, knowing what’s right, how I feel, that sorta stuff.”
“I feel jealous, that’s how I feel. Maybe you don’t have to see him all weekend, or you could go see him, and then come up and party with us?”
“Yeah, that’d be good. If I could leave it open.”
He walks me to my dorm.
When we get there, he grabs the hoodie’s strings and pulls me toward him.
Straight to his lips.
He gives me a sweet kiss and says good night.
I go up to my room. Katie isn’t back yet, so I call Brooklyn.
He answers. “What’s up?”
“Oh, shoot. Did I wake you up? I just realized it’s like way early there.”
“Yeah, it is. But I’m up. I have an early flight back to the states. I didn’t sleep very well. Took a header last night and smashed up my side a bit.”
“You okay? You still coming this weekend?”
“I’ll be fine, and yes, I am.”
“Could you maybe text me some info? Like when you’ll have time to actually hang out with me.”
“Why do you need a schedule? Just show up. Find my tent. We’ll hang.”
“Some friends from school invited me to a party. Well, it’s like a weekend-long party. I was just trying to figure out if I could do both.”
“You can do anything you want, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Why are you okay with me doing anything I want? Shouldn’t you be a little jealous? Do you not care at all?”
“Of course I care. You know I love you, but I think we both know it’s more of a best friend kind of love.”
“So when I visit, you won’t want to have sex? We’ll just be friends?”
“I never said that. Sex is fun. We have fun together. Why wouldn’t we want to? Our last night together was amazing. But it’s up to you.”
“So do you even wanna do it with me again?”
“Like I said, that’s up to you.”
“Oh my gosh! That’s not what I asked.”
“Well, it’s my answer. There can’t be another answer right now. Long distance relationships don’t work, and you still have some growing up to do before you’re going to be ready for a serious relationship.”
“I need to grow up? You’re all of nineteen. The guy I’m seeing here is eighteen. He thinks I’m grown up just fine!” Shit. I didn’t really mean for that to slip out and also, seeing him? I’m not really seeing him.
“So that’s what this is about. You’re feeling guilty.”
“Why would I feel guilty? We mean nothing to each other, apparently.”
“Keats, don’t do that. You know I love you.”
“Well, if you ask me, best friend love sucks.”
I hang up. He texts me.
B