Lost & Found

Jesse was released the next day, and everything went back to normal at Willow Springs. For the most part, at least. Climbing down a chimney wasn’t an easy thing to do with one arm in a cast, so we improvised and learned to be really quiet tip-toeing into each other’s rooms. I didn’t believe we were fooling Neil and Rose, but neither of them said anything or seemed to care all that much.

After Garth and Jesse’s “moment” that night, they seemed to make progress toward picking up their relationship. They weren’t best buds like they might have been once, but they were getting closer. Once Garth stopped looking at me like I was a notch to be added to his belt, we were good, too. Pulling a person and a calf up over a steep wall had a way of forming a connection.

When I wasn’t working or with Jesse, I hung out with Josie. In a short amount of time, we’d become the kind of friends I knew would last a lifetime. We were kindred spirits. The country girl and the city girl. I would miss her like crazy when I left for school.

After Rose and I had researched every community college with a good art school in the western half of the country, we struck gold when we found one that not only accepted late applicants but was in Seattle. It was almost too good to be true. I was winding up in Seattle, studying art, paying my own way. When my two years was up at community college, I could transfer to my dream school in the city if that’s still what I wanted to do. After calling and explaining my situation to said dream school, they said they’d keep my application and acceptance letter on file and would “look forward” to seeing me in a couple years. So I was college bound, and that brought on so many emotions, I couldn’t make up my mind what I felt most.

But right then, I was sad. I had on my brave face, but Jesse saw through it every time.

“Why aren’t you letting me drive you to Seattle, again?” he asked, pulling me closer until his hat was also shielding my face from the sun.

I wouldn’t cry. I hadn’t cried earlier when I’d said my goodbyes to the Walkers. Not even when they’d given me the leather cuff bracelet I had on, with Love is Organized Chaos burnt on to the outside to serve as a daily reminder. Nor had I cried when I gave Neil and Rose a picture I’d sketched of their family rocking and swinging on the porch. I hadn’t cried on the drive to the station either, so I wouldn’t cry in the last five minutes.

“Because, one, your dad needs you on the ranch right now.” I wound my arms tighter around him, too. It would be the last time I’d have them around him for a while. “Two, because I’m positive Old Bessie would break down in the middle of North Idaho, which should really be considered its own country,”—Jesse rolled his eyes—“and three, because I’m kind of enjoying this full circle moment right now.”

We glanced around the familiar place.

“I thought you hated the Greyhound.” Jesse tilted his head at the bus behind me. The bus heading to Seattle.

“A couple hundred miles down the road, I probably will, but right now, I’m kind of loving it.”

Jesse dropped his face into my hair and inhaled slowly. “How long until we get to see each other next?”

“I’ve told you, like, a million times.”

“Is that melodrama I sense in your voice?” he teased. “This really is a full circle moment.”

I swatted his backside. “Fall break. Six weeks from now.”

“Six weeks?” His face twisted. “Crap. I’m going to forget you said that so I can pretend it’s next weekend or something.”

“We’ll be all right.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who just lost his virginity a couple months ago and is eager to make up for lost time.” His smile curved into place. The one that made my stomach drop and my thighs squeeze together.

“I’m sure we’ll figure out some way to make it work.” I arched an eyebrow.

“I’m sure we will.” He kissed me for the thousandth time that morning. “What we have isn’t the kind of thing that goes away when we’re separated by time or distance. It will suck not being able to kiss you every day, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for you to be living your dreams.”

If I wasn’t already convinced Jesse Walker was a keeper, those words would have just convinced me. “And it’s going to suck not being able to see your ass in those jeans every day, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for you to be living your dreams.”

He laughed as he held up the gift bag he’d been holding. “Mom made this for you, so don’t blame me too much. I just supplied the material.”

I gave him a curious look as I dug through the tissue paper until I found the present tucked inside. As soon as I pulled it out, I blushed and smiled. It was a shoulder purse Rose had sewn out of denim . . . Jesse’s jeans to be exact. The worn material, complete with the Wrangler logo, was proudly displayed on the front of the purse. I slung it over my shoulder and couldn’t pry my eyes from it.

“It’s nice to know I can still grab your ass from a couple states away.” I patted the outside of my purse.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wish I could do the same.”

When I studied the denim purse against the rest of my outfit, I smiled even wider. I almost laughed. If I didn’t look like I was positively nutso in the style department, no one did. I was in the burgundy dress Jesse had picked out for me, topped off with my favorite black hoodie, my cowgirl boots, and my new denim purse. It wasn’t “freak” wear; it wasn’t “country” wear. I was done with labels. I was done with letting them define me.

I was Rowen Sterling. I liked edgy clothing and kickass boots. I liked a pair of worn-in jeans and the boots my boyfriend had got me. I could be both. I could be whatever I wanted. The only person holding me back from doing that was me. I’d learned a lot of things that summer, a lot of lessons I’d take with me the rest of my life, but that was perhaps the one I’d hold closest to my heart. My future was wide open for the taking.

“I hate to break this up, kids, but the bus is leaving.” A man cleared his throat behind me. Jesse and I sighed at the same time. We’d known it was coming, but it didn’t matter how well we tried to prepare ourselves for it. It hurt like hell having to say goodbye. Even if it wasn’t the permanent kind.

“Thank you, sir,” Jesse said, tipping his head. “She’s ready.” But what I heard in his tone was I’m ready. So we were both ready, but that didn’t make letting go of him any easier.

“Hey,” the man said, “weren’t you the guy looking for a young lady earlier this summer?”

I glanced over my shoulder and, sure enough, the same driver who’d driven me there was driving me out.

Jesse smiled at him. “That was me.”

“Well?” the man asked, backing up toward the bus. “Did you find her?”

Jesse’s eyes dropped to me. There was something in them I couldn’t quite understand. It was something I wasn’t sure I ever would. Whatever it was, I knew it was one thing: powerful.

“Yeah,” he said. “I sure did.”

I grinned at him, even though I felt the tears coming. I was too choked up for words, so I lifted up onto my toes and kissed him. It was a long, sweet kiss that wasn’t nearly long enough, but I knew the driver was probably getting close to blasting the horn if I didn’t get my butt on that bus.

“See you soon,” I whispered, sweeping a quick kiss over his cheek. I turned and climbed onto the bus before I could throw myself back into Jesse’s arms.

The driver nodded at me as I passed him. “I like that boy. He’s just got something about him.”

I smiled. “He certainly does,” I replied, before climbing into an empty seat by the window.

Jesse was still smiling, a hand in his pocket and his casted arm in front of his stomach. Even through the dirty window of a Greyhound bus, he made me weak in the knees when he looked at me that way.

I waved, and he waved back. We were waving goodbye to each other.

I almost made it, but a tear dripped down the side of my cheek. As if Jesse had seen that tiny tear from where he was, he tipped his hat and mouthed those three words that had changed my life.

I’d come here one person, and I was leaving as that same person. Just that person who had let love into her life. The bus pulled away from the station, but I twisted in my seat and watched him until he disappeared. Way after I’d settled back into my seat and Jesse was long out of my sight, I still felt him. It didn’t matter where I went or how far, I’d always carry him with me. What he’d done for me was something that didn’t fade with time or distance.

Contrary to what I’d believed for a while, Jesse hadn’t changed me. He just showed me the person I really was—the person I’d convinced myself didn’t exist.

The rest was up to me.