Love Hacked

Page 3

“Fine then, you’re here every other Friday night.”

I ignored his last comment. “The butter chicken is quite good, thank you. How is your saag goat?”

“It’s saag lamb, and it’s delicious.”

I almost choked on my chicken when he said delicious; wondered if he could read my mind. His voice made everything sound delicious.

“That’s excellent news, Alex. So, Alex, why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

He smiled, but the smile did nothing to settle my apprehension. If anything, my heart rate increased from skittish rabbit to frightened rabbit having a minor coronary.

Curiouser and curiouser!

“What do you wish to know, Sandra?”

“First of all, stop saying my name. It’s creeping me out.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I never told you my name.”

“And?”

I ignored his question. “Secondly, why don’t we start with your parents.”

“My parents.” His tone was flat.

“Yes, tell me about your parents.”

“Certainly.” He wiped his hands on his napkin and leaned back in the booth; apparently, he was relaxed. “My parents were Romanian circus performers. I grew up in the circus as part of the act.”

I stared at him. He stared at me. I knew he was lying. The omnipresent caution in his eyes was now somehow altered by a flicker of emotion. I thought it resembled amusement, but he was difficult to read.

I shook my head once, placed my fork on the plate, and leaned back in my seat. I surveyed him. The side of his mouth hitched slightly; it did nothing to thaw his features.

“That’s not true.” I said matter-of-factly.

His smile grew, was plainly sincere, yet it lacked warmth. “You’re right. It’s not true.”

I studied him for a long moment before I asked the obvious question. “Why did you say it then?”

“Because you make men cry.”

I believe my eyes bulged. He’d surprised me. Score one point for Alex.

“Ah. That.” I nodded, reached for my glass of wine. “You found me out. I’m a man-eater.” I took a healthy gulp.

“Well, that’s good news.”

I choked, coughed, but managed by sheer luck to keep from spewing red wine all over the table. My eyes bulged further. Did Alex the waiter just turn my man-eater comment into a double entendre? Did that actually occur?

How very scandalous!

“Drink some water.” He lifted his chin and indicated my neglected water even as he poured more wine into my glass.

After two large swallows of water, I felt capable of speaking, though my voice was raspier than usual. “Alex, that was quite a naughty thing to say.”

The carefulness in his gaze wavered as a slow, decidedly salacious grin spread from his mouth to his eyes. I held my breath. When he smiled, actually smiled, he looked a bit more innocent and devious at the same time, boyish and rakish. It was devastating and made me feel like a teenager with a crush on the bad boy in high school.

I suddenly wanted to kiss him.

I reached for my wine glass instead and finished half of it while I watched him over the rim.

At last, he broke the silence and sounded truly pleased with himself. “It was naughty, wasn’t it?”

I nodded, set the glass down. “Was that your goal?”

His eyes narrowed at my question. “Why do you make men cry?”

I reached for my wine glass again, took another swallow. “Do I make men cry?”

“Yes, every other Friday night. Would you care to hear my theories?”

“You have more than one theory?”

“Do you ever respond to a question without asking another question?”

“Does it bother you?”

“No. But it does confirm my hypothesis.”

“What hypothesis?”

He let out a heavy sigh, and with it, all the residual warmth from our flirty banter evaporated. “You’re a shrink,” he said. He might as well have accused me of being a traitor or a murderer or a Kardashian.

I finished my glass of wine and he, reaching over the table, swiftly refilled it. Peripherally, I noticed that he hadn’t yet touched his wine. “Why do you think I’m a shrink?”

He frowned again, his eyes guarded. “In the beginning, I thought you must be bringing these men in here to break up with them. But then these encounters became too frequent. Naturally, I considered the possibility that these men worked for you and you brought them here to fire them. I thought that perhaps you were their boss and you’d chosen this restaurant as the place to let them go, deliver the bad news.”

“But you ruled that out.” I sipped my wine then gulped it, held the glass in both hands as though it might protect me. I didn’t know why I did this.

He nodded once. “From time to time, I overheard pieces of your conversations, and realized you didn’t know these men. I considered the possibility that you were delivering some other kind of bad news—like maybe they had cancer or had lost a loved one.”

“But you ruled that out too.” I finished another glass. He motioned for me to set it on the table; I did as he silently instructed. He refilled it, his attention fixed on the wine bottle and my glass.

“You didn’t seem to know these men, at least not very well. Then it became obvious that this was one of the first times you’d actually sat and talked with them, so I figured you were meeting new clients here. But that didn’t explain why you made them all cry.”

“Ah, yes; you have a point there.” My assenting head bob may have been more exaggerated than I would have liked. I was feeling the effects of my two rapidly drunk glasses of wine.

“Why do you do it?” His tone was sharp, as were his eyes as they moved from the bottle to me. In fact, he was so angry that he looked almost dangerous.

Sad, that. He had such a handsome face when he allowed himself to smile. But then—I tipsily admitted—dangerous, angry waiter Alex was also mighty fine.

Mighty fine, indubitably.

“I don’t do it on purpose.”

“Really?” He didn’t believe me.

“No. I don’t.” I held his granite gaze. “I don’t like it when they cry. It’s why I schedule these first dates for so late in the evening.”

His hostile façade cracked, his eyebrows tugged low over his eyes like thick, shadowy unhappiness umbrellas. “Wait, what? Dates? These are dates? Are you kidding me?”

I nodded despondently, but it felt more like an embarrassing almost-falling-asleep head bob. Copious amounts of red wine on an empty stomach will do that to a girl who hasn’t been kissed in over two years. “Yes. Dates. First dates. Did you think these men were my patients?”

His stare was piercing, as though he were attempting to reach into my head and read the truth from the gray matter of my brain. After a prolonged moment, he expelled a heavy breath. “So…you’re a psychiatrist?”

I nodded into my half-empty third glass of wine, my butter chicken long forgotten. “I am a psychiatrist.”

“You’re a psychiatrist who makes her dates cry.”

I frowned at him, at the edge in his voice that sounded accusatory. “Wait a minute, do you think I do it on purpose? Do you think I like ending each date with a goodbye cry instead of a goodbye kiss?” I may have slurred the word kiss. I couldn’t be sure.

Regardless, my questions were met with flinty silence, the corner of his mouth turned up in disbelief. But he looked interested, so I continued.

“Do you want to know how long it’s been since I was kissed? Guess!” I flicked my hand in his direction, then slapped it on the table. He didn’t flinch. “Two years,” I said.

I may have slurred the word years. I couldn’t be sure.

“Two…years. Actually, it’s been more than two years. It’s been two years and quite a few months, like maybe ten months, which makes it almost three years. And you know what? The last kiss was….” I frowned and shook my head in disgust at the memory of my last kiss. I leaned forward and whispered my next words, letting him in on the secret of my nonexistent sex life. “It wasn’t a good kiss.”

His lips stiffened, tugged ever so slightly to the right. I was tipsy, but I didn’t miss the way his eyes moved to my mouth during my tirade. He was probably looking for lip fungus or some other physical manifestation to explain my kiss-dearth.

“And I’m a good kisser, dammit!” I gripped my wine glass and finished it with two large swallows, relishing in the delightful vertigo settling behind my eyes and making my gums tingle. I set the empty goblet on the table and attempted to level him with a penetrating gaze, but instead I found myself struggling to keep my eyes from crossing. “And I don’t have a lip fungus, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

His attention abruptly moved from my mouth to my eyes. “I wasn’t wondering whether you had a lip fungus, but thank you for getting that awkward conversation out of the way.”

“You’re welcome!” I scooted to the end of the booth. Everything looked a little blurry. The room rocked as I stood and proclaimed, “I have to go pee!”

“Bathrooms are behind….”

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