Lukas

“Can I call anyone? Please tell me what I can do.” I can’t hold back my tears anymore.

He takes the tissue from me and blows his nose. “Please, just stay with me.”

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” I brush his hair out of his face and caress his cheek. “I love you. I’ll do anything for you.”

He grabs me and pulls me to him so tight that he squeezes the breath out of me. “I love you, too.” Taking my hand in his, he stands and pulls me with him. “I need to go inside and take care of this. My brother needs me.”

Lukas transforms the moment he steps foot in the hospital. He’s calm, composed, in control. I stand by his side, silently supportive, his hand never letting go of mine as he meets with police officers and doctors. I’m amazed at the amount of information he has about his brother and niece—their birth dates, blood types, medical histories, Katie’s mother’s name and number, the name of Vandal’s girlfriend. All memorized.

His cousins from the band begin to arrive, and there is chaos in the waiting room as they find out their niece has tragically died. Storm and Evie huddle in a corner and cry. Mikah is pacing, yelling, “What the fuck did he do this time?” while Talon trails after him trying to calm him down. Asher arrives with a gorgeous older woman I assume to be Aria, Lukas’ aunt, who I haven’t met in person yet. They approach us, teary-eyed, and Lukas fills them in with what little he knows.

“I’m going to call our manager and lawyer,” Asher says. “Have they let you see Vandal at all yet? Is he talking?”

Lukas shakes his head. “Not yet. I think he’s still unconscious. No one will give me a fucking straight answer, except to say that he’s going to be all right, but he’s banged up good. Apparently, he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and was thrown from the car.”

Asher winces. “This will gut him and send him right over the fucking edge. We have to make sure the doctors let one of us tell him about Katie. If he hears this from a stranger, he’s liable to strangle someone.”

“I’m not leaving until I can be with him,” Lukas says.

“I’m staying here with you, Lukas,” Aria says, dabbing her eyes. “We’ll tell him together. I’m not leaving you boys to deal with all this alone. Ronnie is on his way here, too.”

I wish I wasn’t meeting Lukas’ family in the midst of a family tragedy. For weeks, we’ve been talking about getting together with his aunt, uncle, and Gram for dinner, but haven’t been able to find a good time. Now, here I am meeting them during a horrific time. I wonder if I should leave them alone to talk, but he holds on to my hand so tightly that it hurts but I refuse to let go. He can crush the bones in my fingers if it makes him feel better. I’m not letting go of him.

Time drags as we all wait in a large private lounge that the nurses moved us into, and soon, the sun is coming up. Lukas and I napped for a short time earlier, leaning against each other on a small couch.

“You should go home and be with the kids,” he says softly. “I’ll stay here and keep you updated.”

“I don’t want to leave you—”

He kisses my lips quickly. “I’ll be okay. I can’t thank you enough for being here this long. He’ll be awake soon, and we’re going to have to deal with that. I promise I’ll call you as soon as I know anything more.”

“Do you want me to bring you something before I leave? Coffee? I could go get you guys some breakfast?”

“I can’t eat anything, but thank you, babe.” He holds my coat out so I can slip into it, and then wraps his arms around me. I hug him tightly, wishing I could steal all his pain away from him.

“If you need or want anything, you call me.” I comb my fingers through his rumpled hair. “I mean it. I don’t mind sitting here with you all day.”

“I know, and that means so much to me. You have no idea. The next few days are going to be even harder. I can’t . . .” His voice catches, and he bows his head down, taking a quick breath. “I can’t believe she’s gone.”

I hold his head against mine, my hands wrapping around to clasp behind his neck. “I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved her. I did too.”

He lifts his head to meet my eyes, biting his lip. “You should go now. Text me when you get home so I know you’re okay.”

When I get in my car I find another tiny black feather on my car seat. Picking it up, I put it in my pocket so I can put it with the others I’ve found that are in a tiny velvet pouch in my nightstand. I drive home in a total daze, emotionally and mentally exhausted. I debate turning around and going right back to stay with Lukas, but wonder if maybe, as much as he needed me there, that he also needs to be alone with his brother, too. My heart aches, thinking of Vandal and poor little Katie, and the other victims of the crash. What a horrible reminder of how precious and fragile life is.

I steel myself for the hard road ahead. Seeing Lukas crumble, and then become a rock for his family, exposed layers of him I haven’t seen before. He proved himself someone to be counted on in an emergency, with a level head and quick thinking, but inside, he was falling apart, his heart breaking for his little princess, as he called her. I worry that hiding and suppressing his own emotions will take a toll on Lukas emotionally and spark up his past depression.

I have to admit to myself that Lukas was right. He is mature beyond his years, and he’s more of a man than I could ever hope to have in my and my children’s lives.

LUKAS

I BATTLED INTENSE GRIEF AT A very young age. It nearly consumed me and almost turned me into a dark shadow slithering throughout my young life. Since losing Katie, I can feel those demons whispering to me again, luring me back into their fold, but I refuse to let them drag me back down into that dark hole. And while those demons definitely have their gnarly claws in my brother right now, I know he has to fight them on his own. I’ve helped him as much as I can the past few months, and now, I have to sit back and hope he finds his way out the other side of his grief.

Easier said than done, to watch someone you love be hurt, while hurting themselves even more in the process. Even harder when they don’t accept your help.

“I’m going to propose,” I tell Finn once he’s settled in my tattoo chair and under my gun, so he can’t freak out too badly at the news.

“Wow,” he says. “I’m flattered, dude, but I don’t like you in that way.”

I punch his leg. “To Ivy, fool.”

He twitches his arm, almost causing me to gouge his artwork right out of his flesh. “Lukas, are you kidding me? Fucking marriage?”

I lean my elbow on his arm. “Sit still. And yes.”

“Dude. Why.”

I frown up at him. “Because I love her.”

“You can love her and not, like, legalize that shit, bro.” He shoves his shades up on his head, pushing his long hair back, and stares at me like I’ve lost my head.

“I want to legalize it. I really love her and the kids. Her divorce is finally final, too. It took forever.”

His face twists into a smirk. “Fucking divorce! Do you really want to be second, man? The second husband? The stepfather? That shit sucks.”

Turning to my worktable, I shake my head at him. “I don’t care about all that. We love each other. We’re good together. She makes me feel safe.”

“Safe? Is she a ninja? Safe from what?”

I don’t know why I ever bother to talk to Finn about my relationship. He’s had a string of one-night stands since he was fourteen, and has zero concept of commitment or love. I keep hoping that, one day, he’ll meet the right chick and fall in love, and experience it like the rest of the world, but so far, no dice.

Turning back to him, I hold his arm down and continue his sleeve. “I mean content. That kind of safe. Like, I know she won’t hurt me or blow my friends. I can trust her.”

“Speaking of blowjobs, where’s the chick that used to work at the front desk?”

Ugh, Dana worked here for a little while and seemed to think that offering sexual favors to our customers was part of her job description.

“I fired her.”

“Well, shit. That new babe working the front now is even hotter, though. I gotta get me a piece of that.”

I freeze and glare at him. “That’s my younger cousin, Rayne, asshole. Don’t you go near her.”

“What the fuck, cock-blocker.”

Sighing, I try to divert his attention. “Anyway, I’m going to propose this weekend, I think. I just have to organize something really cool.”

He tilts his head. “You could jump out of a plane together and propose in mid-air.”

“No.”

“You could tie the ring around your dick and tell her to blow you, and when she gets down there, kabam!”

“No.”

“You could send her on a treasure hunt. Like, give her clues that she has to solve, and at the end, there you are. With the rock. Boom.”

I nod slowly, wondering how crazy I am for even considering any idea that comes out of Finn’s head. “Hmmm . . . that’s actually not a bad idea. I’ll think about that one.”

“The plane and the blowjob sounds much cooler to me, man.”

Rayne pokes her head around the curtain, and I wave her in. “What’s up?”

“I was gonna order lunch. Do you want anything from the café?”

“Just my usual latte, thanks. Get Finnster one, too, and take some money out of the register.”

She turns on her heel, but Finn stops her. “Hey, baby, wait a sec. If I was gonna propose to you, would you rather jump out of a plane with me and get the ring mid-air, or find it tied around my dick?”

I laugh as she curls her lip at him. “Um, neither?”

Finn feigns a pouting face at her. “What? I’m not good enough for you?”

I watch in horror as she smiles shyly at him. “I’m only nineteen. I don’t even want to think about marriage until I’m like forty.”